Activation Day

Dear Abel,

I used to write to you monthly. In my letters, you were my baby- an extension of my own soul. I loved and cherished your first year of life. Your birthday came and went and typically that's where I would stop writing so often. Your story of your babyhood just didn't feel quite done yet, though. I knew I wanted to write you again. When we found out your were deaf, I felt so scared that I wouldn't be able to provide for you what you needed. My sign language was/is limited and although we've been learning together, I knew you needed more. I yearned for you to understand us one day, to be able to talk to your brothers, and enjoy the simple pleasures of music. I was so glad to find out you were a candidate for cochlear implant surgery. That excitement diminished as I learned more about the procedure. It was intimidating. I started second guessing our decision even after your surgery. I can't tell you how many times since you were implanted a few weeks ago that I thought to myself that I wish we'd never done the surgery to begin with. You were perfect as you were anyway.
Activation Day rolled around and I was so excited. I wanted so badly for this to be a happy day for you, but you were under the weather with an ear infection and I ended up crying a lot that day. I hate to see any of my babies in pain. Still, you pressed on as you always do. You're such a tough kid already! You've been through a lot in your short time here and you have taught me that I can be strong, too. We activated one side and your reaction was much like we expected:

Bless your sweet little heart. It turns out that hearing for the first time is frightening! But you know what? You're enjoying it now. I see you getting super still, focusing intently on making sense of your new found hearing and I'm so happy we decided to do it. It feels like I can teach you now. Another door has opened for you. You and I will always have our bond that allows us to communicate without words or signs, but now when your family talks to you, you can listen. I have faith that you will speak, too. Your appetite for learning inspires me, too. You've given me so much in your 21 months!

I love you so much. Happy Hearing Birthday to you!

This is when we activated the other side. No tears!