Warning: Self Reflection

"You are just as beautiful as your thoughts and acts make you." ~L.A. Mallory

Whoa. Now, there's some room for reflection. Most of the time, I'm constantly feeling as if I don't measure up. I've been blessed beyond what I deserve and I sometimes wonder when it's all going to come caving in. I wonder when the universe is going to right itself and rain down with what I deserve. Before you start X-ing out of this blog entry for lack of cheer, I will promise some can be found a little later on down the page.

When I think about some of my thoughts and my actions, beautiful isn't a word that comes to mind. It's more like shame, regret, confusion, laziness, sloth. I wonder, what do I do with my days? If I'm really honest with myself, it's nothing worth mentioning. I rarely make it a point to make someone's day. I'm not working towards anything career-wise therefore I'm not contributing at all to our bank account. I'm not a phone talker so I haven't stayed in contact with friends and I've assumed that most of them feel the same way. We'd all much rather gather together and talk until we're blue in the face than pick up the cell for a transcontinental phone call. What if it's not that way, though? What if I'm pushing my friends away by being so far away?

I've been called a bad friend. Not directly, of course. Women rarely say things directly to me regarding that sort of thing. But I had this best friend for years. I mean, years. We were peas and carrots. :) Then one day it was as if she was just through with me. No explanation, nothing. She stopped answering my phone calls, texts, and messages. To this day, I haven't talked to her since. I've only heard from mutual friends that she had said several things about me. It has been over two years now and I'm still completely clueless as to why she quit talking to me. I have my theories, but I just can't bring myself to believe that they're true because I knew this girl- she couldn't do that. I thought I knew her anyway.

While this mystery of my life remains unresolved (along with several others), I sometimes feel the need to "fix" it. I am aware that I've already tried, though and any efforts to make contact would likely put that nervous, sick, and full of worry feeling in my stomach again and all for nothing because I don't think she'd give me the time of day. Most of the time, I'm fine with this. I can go about my day completely content, yet there are times when I remember what the bible says about forgiveness and it fills me with remorse. Then I wonder, what if there's something I need to apologize for? I just honestly have no idea what it is. As you can see, my conscience is in limbo a lot.

What I do know about life, is that it's too short to dwell on things that cannot be changed. No matter what happens with that relationship in the future, I can learn from it now. Truth is, I've often let it hinder me from making more girl friends. I'm slowly beginning to realize that friendship isn't a certain sex, male or female. Friendship is about listening, working through problems, understanding, fun, and loyalty among other things. I'm going to start making it a point to let people in. I don't want to go through life feeling as if I only truly connected with a handful of people. I want what the pastor at the church we attend talked about last week, a family of God, of friends that can really relate to each others struggles and approach them with a Christian attitude. I want friends who challenge my ideas and accept (nonjudgementally) my own.

We all search for a deeper connection to others in life. I've been focusing on doing that with my husband and with my savior, but I may have neglected many other relationships. I don't want that. I don't want negative thoughts floating through my mind anymore. I don't want to go about my day and not try to impact anyone anymore. My thoughts and my acts prove that I'm simply a work in progress, like everyone else. I'm okay with that, but at the same time, I'm ready to change.

The good news is that the universe isn't in control of my future- God is. And he doesn't treat us as our sins deserve (Psalm 103:10). I think that's pretty awesome. No matter what I've done or haven't done, God hasn't left me when others have. And today when I felt incredibly sad about nothing in particular, He was the one who was there for me and always will be. That really gives me hope, ya know?

I'm not beautiful yet, but I'm workin' on it! Ha ;)

And Iiiiii will always vlog you!!!

Hello, hello! This is a blog hop that Mama M started and it's loads of fun. Click on that link! You should probably participate. You know what would be even sweeter? If you vlogged your answers like me...(Not calling anyone out or anything...AHEM..Jenn) I kid, I kid. Jenn is my dearie of the week. We're facebook friends...we're military forum friends...so basically it's official. Go check out her page, too. Oh, and if you watch this and find yourself thinking, 'Why is Mrs. K scratching her ear a lot?' Well, it's because these icky mosquitos got to my right ear and I just can't help myself. Plus it's not quite Friday here yet, but chances are it is where you are so don't hate. Don't you love how I always point out what's wrong with the video before you watch it? And here we goooooo.............

Fishin' the Chena

Hello Bloggy Friends! I've been incredibly lazy today with no plans of changing that any time soon. I just wanted to be sure and write a blog entry because I have so much to tell you. First of all, I'd like to thank you for dealing with the name changes and sticking around to support my blog. Yesterday, I had just less than two hundred visits to my blog so I was very happy that there wasn't any confusion when I edited the domain. There will be more work done in the future, so look forward to a new look!

So how's life in Alaska, you may be wondering? It's been very nice lately. Our highs peak around 63 F and the sky has been mostly cloudless. It's a perfect temperature to spend time outside, however, the lovely weather brings with it those pesky mosquitos that are iconic of this area. They're pretty terrible. Just yesterday, one landed right on my forehead and left me looking like I hit my head on something hard.

Captain J, Drifter, and I went fishing this past weekend with no luck. I was getting pretty frustrated because my line kept getting tangled. When it was knot-free, the only thing I was catching were sticks. We will keep trying, though. I hope to catch the first fish of the season and show my dear hubby that I've got what it takes to be an excellent fisherwoman.

Drifter was hilarious. The mosquitos were buzzing around us all and he just wasn't putting up with it. Looking back, I should have recorded his behavior. His eyes were bouncing around left to right and his head was moving in all directions trying to catch a glimpse of those annoying insects flying around his head. He started trying to nonchalantly ignore them until they were in reach of his mouth and then he snapped at them. He was actually catching a few. I knew he was good for something. He has been so good lately that we're collectively holding our breath that he is just getting older and wiser. We shall see! I like that little husky more and more every day!

Tonight date night resumes since Captain J is done training for a couple weeks. Yipeeeeee!

Much love,

A visit with the Aussies

Happy Tuesday all! To start off, I have a little house blog cleaning to do. I've decided to preserve some anonymity and change our names. With the nature of my husband's job, I thought it would help me rest easier at night if names were removed for the most part. Which means that I have some introductions to get on with, don't I?

Ahem. Is this mike on? Introducing, for the first time....

Captain J

and Mrs. K

Mrs. K and Captain J (isn't it cute how it rhymes?)

Yeah, yeah...these photos are sorta old, but I don't think I've shared them before. They're all from our trip to New Zealand back in October/November 2009. That post can be found here.

Why am I thinking of Kiwi's and the gorgeous views NZ has to offer? Well, that's a very good question. I will answer that in enlightening you a little more about this past weekend. Captain J, Drifter, and I went on a short stroll through the woods to a nearby lake that is still frozen over. Upon arrival, I hear a shout out from around the bend, "Do you want to share our lake?" We looked up to see an older couple walking hand in hand on the ice formed lake path.

As they drew nearer, Drifter was growing anxious and excited. New friends! Tail wagging, he pulls the leash and me a few steps just to get a closer look at his new company. Before I knew it, he was paws up on some poor guy's sweater vest. Bad dog!

Anyway, this couple was from Australia. (*Gasp, did she just compare Aussies with Kiwi's?) I know New Zealanders tend to get annoyed when they're confused with Australians so I'll just say that meeting them reminded me of our trip down under. These people were well traveled, interesting, intelligent, and fun individuals who Captain J and I stood around to talk to for quite some time. They were visiting Alaska in order to learn to dog mush. The lady said something that really rang true for us: "We may always be poor, but we'll always have these memories." That's what Captain J and I want in our lives...not necessarily being lacking in the funds department, but we want those memories. We'll choose travel, memorable stories, and good times over an extra car or other toys any ole day!

We immediately came home and started our official vacation fund.

It was refreshing to have met them and to find out that we had so much in common with them. The wife termed herself as a military brat. She told us stories of growing up with her dad who served in the Australian Military. The husband told us his dad served in the U.S. Air Force for years. Their families now reside south of the Mason Dixon Line (greatest place on earth! hehe) and welcome them to visit any time they please. They've been to countless countries and states and they seemed to carry their joy in life with them each step of the way. Each new adventure offered an opportunity to learn something different and meet someone new...even if those new people had an overly excited Alaskan Husky puppy on their hands ;)

(P.S. If you've added my link on your website, please make the name change for me if applicable. Thanks, guys. You rock!)

Army Wife Chronicles

I'd like to write something poignant about our military. I'd like to somehow express what these men and women go through both overseas and stateside. I'd like to share with you what it's like to walk a mile in their shoes, but I can't. I can't because I don't know exactly how it is and maybe you don't either. Perhaps some of you have proudly served or are currently serving, but I would venture to guess that most of you who are reading today do not know what it's like to be a United States soldier. That means you're in my boat.

I do have the privilege of being married to a U.S. Army soldier, though so I do have a little corner in my brain reserved for all that I've discovered that goes along  with calling myself an Army Wife. I know I've shared with you some of my feelings on the benefits before, but if I repeat myself I hope you won't mind. I try to steer clear of labeling military wives and families. I tend to cringe slightly when I read very detailed poems or literature on what it's like to be a military spouse or girlfriend. They always seem to lump me into this pile of either Superwoman Army Wife Extrodinaire or poor, weepy, pining female. I am neither of those things, but I can tell you what I am...

I am that wife who proudly displayed a cheesy bumper sticker that read: "Half my heart is in Iraq" while Captain J was deployed. I stuck that sucker right on my beautiful BMW and didn't look back. I was so proud of my man and I wanted people to know. It kept him fresh in my mind as if he wasn't already. It was an outward statement to all those on TTU's campus (and everywhere else I drove) that I was taken. No question about it.

I am also the wife who truly doesn't believe waiting is harder. Captain J's job is trying on him and on his relationships. He takes months, years of his life and hands it over to the government to use as "they" see fit. I was somewhere back home fiddling on the internet, hanging with friends and family, and keeping myself busy as he was eating questionable Iraqi food, patrolling the streets for hours on end, and worrying if the next mortar would hit someone he knew. Yes, it's difficult on me because he's constantly on my mind, but he has the business of staying alive to attend to. His role is more important and I completely respect that.

I am not that wife who speaks Army. There's really nothing wrong with that at all; I just don't do it. I haven't taken the time to learn many acronyms or even ranks and the difference between Battalion and Brigade (as you may have noticed in a previous post. I totally screwed that up.). Maybe I'll get there one day. I'm new to this, ya know? I didn't join the army so while I'm incredibly proud of my husband's sacrifice, I don't feel the need to know all about his job.

I am that Army wife who will passionately and loyally stand by her man at all times. The military can be hard on a relationship, but Captain J and I are figuring this all out as we go along. Trusting each other and believing in this marriage that God has made is the key that will make all of this work for us. So many times, we hear of all the cheating, the lies, and the scandal that goes on in military circles and families. Rarely do we hear of those strong, hard working couples who make a military relationship work. There are many of us, though which is why I like to participate in memes, such as Military Mondays. I like to talk about and share with others the positive aspects of being involved with the military.

I could go on forever about various perks, but instead I'll share with you one last exciting benefit of being an Army Wife. Time travel. Okay...not literally, but ever so often, I get to drift back to my high school days and re-live prom only with good food and tasty beverages included.  Going to the Army ball still has some appeal to me. I enjoy getting dressed up and dancing the night away. I like to put on makeup, fix my hair, and feel as pretty as I can. I delight in seeing Jordan in his dress blues with all his colorful accomplishments adorning his coat. I love walking hand in hand with my husband into a room full of his peers and feeling as if I'm the only person in the room because of the way he's looking at me. That feeling? So. much. better. than. prom.

Here's a few photos from Friday night-

[caption id="attachment_674" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="We're so classy, just check out the wing sauce on our mouths for proof."][/caption]



Thanks for reading! Go check out armywiveslives.com to find and read other military family blogs. Happy Monday!

Robe Vlog 5QF

Miscellaneous

Do you miss me? I have been enjoying my newly found freedom now that the weather has warmed up. Captain J has been driving the jeep much more frequently this week so I've been going out and enjoying the sunshine. As it goes, I've slacked in the blogging department. Slacking for me, though, is still several posts in one week so I'm hoping you'll let that slide.

The weather here in Fairbanks has been lovely. For the past week, we've had temps in the 50's and even 60's during the hottest parts of the day. I have really tried to take advantage of this by relaxing in the sun with a good book and taking Drifter running a lot. We've also fired up the grill quite a bit when Captain J is home and we're very much enjoying our new toy.

Notice Drifter being mischievous. If there's any food around, it better be way out of his reach or he'll look for a way to get it into his mouth. Wait, scratch that. He'll have it in his throat in no time. He knows he's in trouble when he does it so he'll try to consume the whole thing in one big swallow. He's been uber rebellious lately so that has taken some getting used to.

Another thing I haven't quite gotten used to is all this daylight we're experiencing! Captain J's alarm sounds at 0530 and it is as bright outside as it is at noon. When we head to bed at night, it's still fairly light out there. It finally gets dark around 2300. It's a cool experience, but a girl needs her sleep! I like it, though. The days don't feel as if they're already over when J gets home at night anymore.

I've been attempting to catch up on several things I need to get done. One of my favorites on my To Do list is working on my scrapbook. If you keep up with this blog, you know I just now got around to doing the Halloween page. I'm very behind! I just finished a couple pages on our trip to New Zealand, but I have several more to go. We took lots of pictures! Here's the latest page-

 

 

I have fun doing this. It makes me feel like a kid again, being crafty. Which brings me to my next point...Can one force someone to have fun? I think not. Yet, that is exactly what the Army is going to do to for Captain J tomorrow. They call it "mandatory fun days," I kid you not. Instead of giving them the day off to do whatever fun activity the soldier pleases, they require them to come into work for all day game playing. It's sort of like the adult version of Field Day. I think the idea of giving them all a break is a good idea, but mandatory fun? Odd! The Army does have some perks in this department, though. Alaska, in particular, has what is called "Arctic Family Time." This is cool because my husband actually comes home for this family time! :) It's usually just an excuse to get off work early, but I'm a fan. Speaking of fans...this totally cracked me up the other day when I saw it. Do you know how people are fans of everything on facebook? I mean, EVERYTHING. I rarely ever become a fan of anything because it gets out of control. Well, I'm officially a fan of this picture:

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes... He'll be off playing games and I'll be at the salon with a friend making myself as lovely as possible for the Army ball tomorrow night so I really can't complain. I do think it's fun to get all dressed up for the night and remind Captain J that I do own makeup and clothes besides tshirts, but I am not really looking forward to this one. I'm not sure why. I think it's because it's going to be the whole brigade, which means a lot of people. Crowds freak me out. Did you know that? I don't like to be in a room with tons of people. It makes me feel like the world is too crowded and it's closing in on me. Ha! I do like my space which is why I'd never make it in a big city. I'm a country girl at heart. Just flying into LAX makes me feel like I can't breathe well. Just thinking about walking around down there, surrounded by buildings, without a patch of grass or a big tree in sight gives me the heebie jeebies.

I like my simple life out here in the woods of Central Alaska with my husband and dog. I'm all about experiencing new places and seeing what else the Earth has to offer me, but I hope I can do all that with a little elbow room along the way.

More from this week:

Yum, yum! It's a good thing I've been running a lot. All this food is bound to catch up with me soon.

Lastly, I want to wish my mother-in-law, Laura, a very happy birthday. I hope your day is splendid! We miss you and love you very much!

In spirit of Earth Day, I think I'll go pick up trash along the highway if Drifter doesn't eat it all before I can. Have a great day all!

 

A bunch of nothing

Sometimes one just needs to write. The idea of catharsis is one that has diminished in popularity among friends, but it's always gaining popularity in the counseling field. After all, what is counseling if it's not having someone who is paid to listen to you? Sure, there are helpful therapists out there, but what we, as human beings, really need is just someone to listen to us. Perhaps that's why I write so often. It's a type of catharsis for me, a release. So, as I sit here with a glass of wine and wide eyes, I wonder, did that just happen?

I won't go into details, but I'll let you know the ballpark I'm in: I don't understand why people feel the need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better. I've seen this on a much larger scale all over the news this week, but what I'm referring to are those little jabs, those small one -liners that cut right to your core. There are people in my life that can accomplish this with ease. When something in their life gets rough, their first step on their own personal road to recovery is to criticize mine. If you have to start a sentence with, "At least..." or some other mean spirited comparison phrase then I probably don't NEED to hear that. Jus' sayin.' The weird thing is- I don't really care enough to feel really bad about it. I mean, I know what this person said is far from truth and they probably don't really believe what was said either and it was just a way for them to release as well. I'm not mad or sad, just slightly irritated because this isn't the first time this person has graced me with their careless tongue. I just pray that I can search my heart and find forgiveness for them because it truly is a small, miniscule thing. The idea that keeps resounding in my head though is, why do I continue to entertain their insecurities? I'm not sure.

What else is going on with me? Well, aside from that minor annoyance earlier, I'm doing great. Jordan and I have a lot of exciting news. For starters, Captain J received his selection letter for a big bad army school (removed). Yeah, that's right...the big time. People keep asking me how I feel about this and I'm not sure I know how to respond. I mean, most people immediately say, "Oh, I'm sorry, Kace..." which tells me I truly don't know what I'm getting myself into! The role of an (removed) wife? Can I handle that? I know we'll make it work if that's where God wants Captain J to be. Above all worries and fears, I'm happy for him. I know this is what he wants career-wise so I support him. This summer will provide insight into what the next few years of our lives will look like so I'm excited to see what happens. Captain J will be sent off sometime this summer to go into the next phase of selection. Prayers are very much appreciated!

The most thrilling news, in my opinion, is the fact that I have in my possession two tickets to Hawaii for the month of June! Captain J and I are finally getting our honeymoon that we didn't get to have. It's going to be such a blessing to be able to visit somewhere warm, tropical, and gorgeous after having spent a winter in Alaska. We plan on finishing up our Scuba Diving Certification, fishing, and relaxing on the beach. 10 days of uninterrupted bliss...I cannot wait!

Many times people ask what's up with ME and I really don't have much of an answer for them. Sometimes it  feels as if my life is so closely intertwined with Captain J's that I don't have much of a life outside of him, but I know that's not true. So, to enlighten you on what's going on in my world, I will say that I'm pretty content in doing a whole bunch of nothing. Many of you have sent me encoraging emails, comments, messages, and phone calls telling me I should publish my writing. I don't know how serious I am to take you, but I have begun to write some of my thoughts down elsewhere (besides this blog). The trouble with writing or any other thing that one may be good at, it's often just something I do so I never think of it as anything exceptional. Whether what I say is interesting enough for people to want to read or not, I have started writing notes occasionally of what is laid upon my heart. Maybe it will never be a great piece of work, but I write anyway in the hope that my children and grandchildren will have a readily available glimpse into my life as a twenty something year old. That thought keeps me writing. Besides, I really enjoy it!

I've also been trying to whip my butt into shape, as you can see here. I don't know how much my body has changed, but I can truly feel the difference. I'm happier when I'm working out, releasing endorphins. Pretty soon I'm hoping to settle on a half marathon to do this summer. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled. Alaskans are hardcore so they often don't have the 13.1 mile race, it's all or nothing. There's no way I can finish a full marathon would want to run 26 miles at this point in my life so that simply won't be happening. I'd love to do another half marathon, though so that is definitely in the works for me. I'll keep you updated.

I'm going to peace out now because I fear I'm boring you with my game of catch up. Tell me, what's going on with YOU?

The Captain and Her

The air smelled bland as she maneuvered her way through the gravel and mud mixed pathway that led her to what they called, "The Company." Walking in those conditions with high heel boots and a confident smile is no easy task. Fidgeting restlessly, she managed a quick wave to a few familiar faces as she nervously made her way to her knight in shining armour ACUs who was waiting for her inside. The door was held open for her by a nice young man in Army Fatigues and dirty combat boots. "Come on in" the atmosphere seemed to tell her. "He's this way," they said as they led her into a little office to the left of the building. There he was, sitting behind his desk, making some last minute phone calls. She took a seat opposite him hoping to become a fly on the wall, as the mens' daily happenings went on around her. Everyone seemed to notice the woman who didn't don the same uniform as they.

Moments passed and two o'clock drew nearer. Word was spread that the company should get into formation for the pinning ceremony. The soldier, his wife, and his superiors headed outside to accept his new rank as Captain. She smiled as she velcroed his new rank to him using her thumb to push it on smoothly. Looking up into his face, she knew that he looked at her as if this was partly her doing, too but she didn't understand why. Stepping aside for the soldier to speak, she heard the words, "I'd like to thank my wife for standing by me through long hours at the office and getting home late..." She heard the rest of the words as if they were fleeting because all she could focus on was: He thanked me? Holding on to that thought, she felt undeserving yet simultaneously thankful that he would remember her that way. Then, he did something he never does in public, a kiss of celebration for the company to see!

She knows she'll remember that day for the significance it brings to his career, but she also will not forget how warm she felt inside knowing that she has a wonderful man in uniform who is thankful for her. And she is thankful for him right back!

Her Me and the Captain

 

100th Post in a Vlog Fashion!

Watch this and tell me if I sound like the pot hole. You know the one. The one on the GEICO commercial.

Hear Pot Hole Here.
Two people have told me that this week and I just simply cannot believe it. I was slightly appalled. Anyway, here goes nothin'-

I'm not that girl.

In the spirit of celebration of nearing my 100th post on Confessions of a Snow Bunny, I decided to take a walk down memory lane. I logged into an old blog and immersed myself with the writings of a confused teen. I'll reveal to you something I wasn't very aware of myself- I've been blogging since 2004. Six years..wow! My entries were more sporadic all those years ago, but I was blogging just the same. Looking back, I see that I was a rambunctious, eager college student with the whole world in front of me yet I was sad somehow. Someone was always disappointing me or I was disappointing myself. In some apsects, I barely know the girl I was reading earlier today and for that, I'm thankful. In other ways, I still see that weirdo that is me shining through. I hope I've obtained some of the positive qualities in me and have discarded some of the other no-so-flattering ones. Actually, I know I have.

Are you ready for revelation number 2? Here goes. I used to pretend to be a poet. I could close my eyes and see how differently my life could have turned out if I took that road. I'd probably wear all things hemp and daily wallow in my misery. No doubt I would never have been happy because I only write wrote poetry when I was sad. I definitely don't write like I used to, but I still like to read my words from years ago and appreciate the path that led me here. I was doing just that when I came across a blog entry of mine from 2005. In it, I found this-

Outside the streets overflow

inside my life-a strange dark hole.

It rains, it pours so quiet and dead

silent rains consume my head.

Rushing it flows-destroying and taking

someone save me, I'm yours for the taking.

Rain, rain, so cold, but essential

me, me, such wasted potential.

Who knew I was so deep? I remember writing this while thinking, "What is my purpose here?" Ya know, I'm not sure I ever figured out that purpose fully, but I'm working on it. God will reveal it in his own time. I can say that I no longer feel like this sad, weepy person that I read earlier today. I'm a new -and dare I say it-more optimistic person than I was in my my college days.

It's bizarre to me when people say high school or college days are the best in ones life. I disagree. Finding a man who is awesome to me and for me really makes me believe that THESE are the best days of my life.

 

Family News

Since Jordan has been working long hours for days at a time, consequently I've had lots of time to myself. This translates to more time for scrapbooking, crafting, reading, blogging, and dancing around the house cleaning and singing. I've enjoyed my "me time" but I was glad to hear yesterday afternoon that Captain J would be home for dinner and would be able to stay overnight. We enjoyed an evening dip in the hot tub even though Drifter took off with our towels and we had to emerge from the water into thirty degree temps. We've been in worse, no doubt! After drying off inside, we went back outside to fire up the grill. We didn't do much of anything, but all those nothing nights are perfect. I just love being around him! I hate I missed girls night with my Fairbanks dearies, though, but I'm confident there'll be another time. :)

In other family news, we got a new vacuum. Captain J, sneaky as he is, decided to tell me that I could go purchase a new vacuum at the PX after my workout on Monday. He knew he'd be spending the night outside again on post and that I'd have to assemble it myself. It took forever because I'm slow it's the man's job, right? Anyway, I felt quite accomplished when I flipped the switch to "on" and felt the contraption glide smoothly across the carpet picking up everything in its path. It's possibly the coolest thing that has happened this week after using the crappy vacuum we had prior to this one for seven and a half months. Now, tell me I'm not getting old. This could be the first sign: getting excited about household appliances- much less a cleaning tool.

I have one more announcement to make. Captain J is now a Captain in the United States Army! I'm so proud of him. I get to pin velcro his rank on him in a small ceremony on Friday afternoon. I'm looking forward to it.

That's what is new with us. What's new with you?

Much love,
Mrs. K

Burn Baby Burn

Sunday afternoon Captain J and I headed a street over to bid farewell to his buddy (and his wife) who are leaving Alaska and making the drive to D.C. early Wednesday morning. They needed some help moving so we gladly stretched out our muscles and got to work clearing out all of their possessions and loading them into a huge transfer truck. The couple decided that they wouldn't take much of their furniture so they were planning to get rid of it. We couldn't pass that up so we jumped at the chance to take it off their hands. We got enough bedroom furniture to outfit our spare bedroom for the low, low price of moving boxes and furniture...FREE! I couldn't let it all go to waste like this dresser and its untimely demise-

That's right. We lit that sucker up just to watch it burn. We all sort of collectively held our breath as the flames got higher and higher. We probably should have had a burn permit for that. It died down quickly, though so we were left to just stare into the dwindling flames. There's something about a fire, isn't there?  It's theraputic.

Anyway, I'll leave you with a picture of a moose. We saw this guy as we were packing up-

Just another day in paradise Alaska!

Chocolate Love

I wanted to participate in Military Mondays again because I think it's an excellent idea,  but hmmm...what to talk about? I wasn't sure until I looked down at the solid Dove chocolate Easter bunny I've been nibbling on for about a week now and was brought back to my favorite piece of chocolate that I ever received.

I still remember what I had on that day: navy blue cargo shorts, a teal colored Banana Republic shirt, and my Sperry's. Boat shoes for crying out loud...like I was going out to a breezy, fun summer day. I wasn't going out boating, though. I was sending my soldier back to the Middle East, back to very little communication, and as far away from me as I could imagine. I was crushed.

We arrived at McGhee Tyson Airport where the nice Delta attendants allowed us to accompany Captain J to the gate to see him off. I was so thankful to have those few extra minutes to say goodbye. After going through security, Captain J had a few last minute gifts and souvenirs to purchase for his Iraqi interpreters so we spent most of that time browsing and waiting in line to pay. I clung to each moment daring to think, 'What if this is the last time I stand beside him?' and 'Surely, this isn't the last hug.'

I had already decided I would show him how strong I can be so I had decided not to cry. This decision lasted all of a minute or two until the loud annoucement rang through the speakers that his plane was now boarding. The inescapable reality of our situation hit me and I buried my face, hoping that I at least could keep the desperate gasps for air that always seem to accompany my tears at a minimum.

Captain J looked into my teary eyes and managed to get out a sweet goodbye even though he could tell I had completely fallen apart.

I'm not kidding. Everyone was staring. I was a mascara-ey mess. We had already made it seven months apart, what was four months more? It was an eternity, that's what it was. I think Captain J felt that way, too but he was strong when I was not.

He reached into one of the many pockets in his ACUs (uniform) and revealed to me a milk chocolate candy bar. I looked on in confusion as he said, "I knew you were going to need this."

My husband knows me so well! I often find comfort in chocolate so his gesture was perfect. Even though no amount of words, encouragement, wine, or chocolate could ease my fears, the fact that he was concerned for me and was planning for me when he had to go away gave me great comfort. He was going to make it. We were going to make it.

It didn't take long for me to scarf down the yummy goodness, but its effects were long lasting.

Being in the military, we are often faced with distance between us but it only challenges us and our relationship. It allows us to come closer together, despite all the miles in between.

The little things

My stir-crazy brain was churning a mile a minute when Captain J's truck pulled into the snow and gravel covered driveway of our place. Home...and early! I was so excited until he got out of the vehicle, shut the door, and proclaimed, "Hey babe. I'm going to sleep."

I guess he didn't get much sleep after having to catch some zzz's outside. I understand, but I was somewhat distraught because while he was off "defending the free world" I was stuck in the house for days with no car, no human interaction, and little sleep to speak of myself.

Off Captain J goes to bed and I picked up my book again. After getting a little shut eye he wakes up and I'm (for lack of a better word) pouting. I tell him how I might pull my hair out if I don't find out soon that there are other people that exist in this world outside cyber space. I want to see another human being. I need interaction. This coming from an introvert, he recognized my desperate plea was serious. So, at around 9:15 PM we headed out. We stopped at a coffee shop downtown and ordered up a chai tea and hot chocolate to sip on while I people watched. (Do I sound creepy yet?)

Luckily, we went on a night that they were having live music. The sounds of old greats came through the speakers with a twist of their three person band's style. Captain J and I were enjoying each others company and I was very appreciative for the warm welcomes from the band members, the little girl with a joyful smile on her face playing with Mom and Dad, and the fresh air on the way back to the truck.

It's hard to beat a good cup of chai tea and wonderful company! It's the little things that make me happy.

Au Revoir,
Mrs. K

A nostril edition of 5QF!

Seriously, my nostrils. I can't stop staring. Don't you go looking at them, though. Anyway, I recorded one of these in which my nostrils looked normal sized, but my dog was barking all throughout it and it was very distracting so I had to do it again when he decided to shut his trap and this was the result...



Thanks for the questions Mama M. and readers. If you aren't familiar with her blog, go check it out. It's fabulous! Happy Blogoversary!

And a very happy Friday to you all!

Much love,
Mrs. K

Christmas Tree Lights

"What have you done?!", I screamed at Captain J early this morning. "Ugh, I can't just leave this laying around."

I threw the covers back and hopped out of bed to check the floor. I found nothing but extra pillows and a sock or two. "Babe, what are you talking about? Are you ok?"

Me- "The Christmas tree lights! They're broken and scattered across the floor!"

Captain J- "Huh?"

Slowly starting to realize maybe it wasn't that big of a mess, I crawled back into the warm covers of our bed with Captain J staring at me like I was a looney bin escapee. I just couldn't shake the feeling of how real it was so, once again, I got out of bed to clean up the mess from the broken Christmas tree lights. When I slid my foot (I know, great way to check) across most of the carpet and found nothing. I began to giggle and realize it was just an odd dream I had. At one o'clock this morning, Captain J and I were laughing at my ridiculousness and by five thirty a.m when he got up for work, we were laughing even more.

He is probably going to enjoy sleeping in the field tonight in the cold and snow- at least he'll be getting yelled at by big, tough Army guys and not his five foot three wifey. I'll sure miss him, though.

One of my favorite quotes is one by Maya Angelou that says:

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

I think I failed miserably today...but if I'm half asleep, does it even count?

Oldies but goodies

Carina at the Blogette was dared to show the 10th picture in the first photo album from her computer and tell about it so I decided to pass the fun along. I'm not sure if you're ready for this, though. Seriously, I crimped my hair. No idea why...this photo wasn't taken that long ago. Don't judge!



This is my lovely friend, Dana and me at a hotel in Charlotte, North Carolina. We were in town for a psychology convention. In this photo, we were headed to check out other students' research the bar. I'll just go ahead and be honest...we only made it to one meeting! We were too busy seeing what all Charlotte had to offer.  Many restaurants, museums, and trolley rides later we remembered why we came and got to the convention just in time to see the best lecture they had all weekend. It was on Multiple Personality Disorder, which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder. I had a fun weekend and ended up re-connecting with an old friend who also happened to be in Charlotte.

Good times! Now let's see your tenth picture :)

Dear...

Dear Sweet Loving Husband,

Thank you for being so kind as to leave the truck for me today. I felt like a whole new woman after I got done working out at the PFC. Also, thanks for sneaking home for dinner last night. I'm glad I got to see you!!

Dear In-Laws,

I love the picture frame you sent. I finally got the right photo in it. Now, every time I walk by it, I smile. Love it!



Dear Readers: Linn and Laura,

I'm so glad you suggested the book, The Help. I'm really enjoying it and it's a great excuse to not do anything around the house all day!

Dear silly dog,

You're wild and crazy, but I sure do like you a whole lot. Please don't run off again- it makes me worry. Besides, you'll get the punishment bib again if you're not careful-



Dear Debra at ourimperfectlife,

Thanks for giving me something to post today :)

Dear Mom,

I MISS YOU!!

Dear Sister,

I got the dress you sent me for the ball. I must say...I look pretty darn good in it! ha Thank you so much. I sent you a check for the shipping earlier today.

Love,
Mrs. K

Believe in good!

"Believe in good and you'll be happy and useful." - Elizabeth Towne

(Warning: Hippyish post of the week)

I brought out The Every Day Book again and paged into November (my real birthday as opposed to my fake facebook birthday ;) )- November 7th to be exact. This quote by Elizabeth Towne was what I came to and what hopeful and profound words they are even still today.

I'll be the first one to admit, I'm old school. I can often be caught muttering the words, "What is this world coming to?" It's my half way serious reaction to various news reports or questionable gossip. I am simply amazed sometimes by some of the awful things I hear about going on in the world, in our country, and in our little towns. Why do we, as a society, dwell on negative news? It's like a terrible car accident that we can't drag our eyes away from. It's like a drug we take daily as we turn on the news to hear the latest scandal. Just think of all those celebrities who we get to judge from the comfort of our couches and kitchen tables each day- Tiger, Jesse James, the Kardashians (and those are just this weeks latest!).

(Are you singing the Black Eyed Peas- "Where is the love" yet? Oh you're not? Me either. Carry on.)

It's so easy for us to believe that "the good ole days" are long gone. It's easy to say that there's not much good left in the world, too- especially if you tune into the news every day. But there's hope! Just head over to your local airport and watch people as they get off their planes and run to get to their loved ones and jump in their arms. Ask a mother whose baby just learned to say "Mama." I would venture to guess that if you went through your daily routine and made a conscious effort to pick out the good in it then you'd find plenty of love in the world. Sure, we could use a little more probably, but just because we may not see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. Perhaps we're all just not seeing.

I know my family has always reiterated the notion that "It's all about how you look at it."

I'm going to make an effort to look for love more often! Who is with me? :)

In the field?

 Head over to Army Wives' Lives to check out the Monday link up going on over there. This will give you a chance to read other blogs about military families and if you're part of a military family yourself, go participate! All you have to do is write about an experience you've had with the military. Easy peasy, right?

The experience I want to write about today is happening today. It's that time again--time for training. For awhile (before we were married), I couldn't -for the life of me- figure out what J meant when he said "in the field." I'm not one to ask too many questions about the Army because I think it's one of those things I might never fully comprehend. The acronyms, their way of functioning, etc seems to be comprehendable only if one has experienced it for themselves and since I never joined the military, I'm left clueless. Sometimes I'll ask what in the world he's talking about when he starts spouting off a combination of letters that I don't understand, but I keep my questions to a minimum. That's his job, not mine. So, back to "the field", what does that mean anyway? Where is this field?

It turns out, the field is wherever "they" say it is. When Captain J is training, he is considered "in the field." This field can be a hop, skip, and a jump away or it could be a plane ride away. It just depends. Good to know. J is headed for this infamous field all this week and much of May. I dread it, as always. This means less time with him. This means that my best friend, my puppy mediator, my loving husband, my sole entertainment, my life is going to be absent from our home again.

I can't believe how fast the past six months have flown by. J returned home from Iraq in September, but it feels as if he just got home. Why is it that when he is state-side, that time won't stop but when he is deployed it stands flippin' still? I guess the old saying is true, "Time flies when you're having fun." Anyway, I've had him for six months, now the Army tells me it's their turn again. Oh well, I suppose I can deal. I knew what I was signing up for when I married him. We'll get through this week and the weeks in the field to come and we'll be stronger for them. I'm so proud of my Army Ranger and I'm proud of the life we've built together. If there's one thing I can thank the Army for, it's making us stronger together. It gives us the opportunity to challenge our relationship so that we're always building it up. There are obstacles, but we hurdle right over them-together. :)

Thanks for reading!

Easter Blessings

Music sounds from the sanctuary in a big welcoming noise inviting all those who enter to praise God. Warm "hello"s and genuine "how are you"s escape the lips of everyone we pass. The sanctuary is filled to the brim with people in all walks of life. On stage, there's a black man with a silk shirt on playing his heart out on the sax. There's the skinny white kid with the guitar and the band tshirt. There's a middle aged lady swaying back and forth on her feet, hands held high, in complete awe of the Lord. There are people all around me who all have their own journey. Some found Christ when they were ten years old on their first youth trip with the church and others found Him when they realized cocaine was just not working for them anymore. Every Christian has a story. Here's mine:

In short, I'm a failure. But if you want to delve in deeper in my walk then I encourage you to read on.

I was "saved" when I was a little girl in church. I went to the Pastor's office, talked to him, and voila! I'm a Christian. No, that didn't really work for me. I believed in God. I believed that He sent His son to die for me, but at that point in my life it was still just a story. It was like a history lesson is to many young girls- it's accepted as true, but applicable? Nope.

I remember taking a trip to God's Mountain, a camp retreat nestled in the backwoods of Tennessee. It was there that I felt God truly speak to me, clearly for the first time in my life. I was a few years older at this point and the story of Jesus Christ began to sink in- I needed Him and he wanted me. What other King cares so deeply for his followers?

Since that day, I've fallen in and out of a close relationship with my Savior. Why is that? It goes back to what I was saying earlier. I'm a failure. I know I am because I see it every day. I fail to worship fully. I fail to share Christ with others. I set horrible examples. I forget how incredible His sacrifice was/is and I fail to let it immerse my whole lifestyle. I fail yet He forgives me each time. So as I walked into the church today with the man I was blessed enough to get to spend my entire life with and looked around at all of God's people, I was confused why someone wouldn't want to be a part of it. I've found something that will bring me through any obstacle I may be forced to overcome and I'll never be alone. Never. As a Christian, I'm humbled in the fact that God pardons me. Undeserving, little ole me.

As you may have guessed, I had a wonderful Easter holiday. I woke up to an Easter egg hunt/scavenger hunt game that my husband had designed for me to lead me to a surprise basket of many of my favorite things! Chocolate, jewelry, and kind words from my other half--What more could a girl ask for?

 

Drifter even got a tasty Prime Rib to enjoy today. Look at him patiently waiting to devour it. Such a good boy when there's motivation around!



Afterwards, we had coffee and bagels and settled in for a Skype date with my family back home. It sure felt good to see everyone. Cousins, grandparents, a church friend, my aunt, and my mom all crowded around the webcam to visit with Jordan and me. It was almost as if we were right there with them. Until, of course, they showed me that it was a gorgeous East Tennessee day and the pool was already open!

After our chat, we hustled out the door to attend church. Tonight we're going to cook dinner together and enjoy the rest of this long weekend. I just wanted to write and say how blessed I feel today-

Love,
Mrs. K

I'm at it again...

Today is Friday so that means it's time for a fun little meme to start off the day! Head over to Mama M.'s page to check out Five Question Fridays. I wish you all a happy Good Friday! May we all remember Christ's sacrifice today and always.

 

 

Home Sweet Home

Last year at Easter I was spending time with my family, going to church, and enjoying some tasty Southern food. I remember one family event in particular in which my computer was glued to my hip because my favorite soldier was still deployed to Iraq and chatting online was our primary means of communication. I was having a late lunch at my Nanny's when that alien-like Skype ring sounded from the speakers of my computer into the conversations of all those around. Everyone turned to see what was making the alarming noise, but not me, I jumped into action to catch the video chat with Captain J. Unfortunately, I had very little service in the house so in order to get to talk, I had to go outside. I remember it vividly--it was a beautiful spring day. I didn't mind having to go outside. Anyway, I swooped my computer into my arms and took off to talk to my man. I was so glad I would get to see him on Easter Sunday. Knowing that my guy was safe and sound was a gift from God. We chatted and laughed and reconnected awhile, but I started to lose service so I wanted to get closer to the main road where my car was parked in hopes of not loosing our Skype call. There I was in a dress and heels running down a grassy hill near a creek with computer in hand and webcam powered on when my shoe sunk into the grass and I plopped tummy first onto the ground. Embarrassed, I brushed myself off and looked up to the window of the house to see if anyone witnessed that moment. Sure enough, most of them were watching. Oh well, ya can't say I wasn't devoted! I regained service coverage and finished up our conversation with a goofy smile on my face and a little dirt on my new Easter threads, but lots of hope for spending the next Easter holiday with my man.

And here we are! It's hard to believe it's been a full year since then. Life passes so quickly! I know I'll miss my loved ones back home on Sunday, but I'm happy to be with my husband, too. Now, I look forward to the day when we can all be together. We don't have plans this year to celebrate except, of course, attending a church service. Perhaps we'll color some Easter eggs or maybe we'll take Drifter on the puppy egg hunt going on in town. Who knows? But the real reason for Easter won't escape my mind. I'll continue to be amazed at how God blessed me when he sent his Son to suffer on the cross only to rise from the dead and live in me again so that I may have eternal life. I won't dismiss how he blesses me even still today--For this year, my soldier is home. Home Sweet Home.

(P.S.- To those of you I fooled on facebook, I'm somewhat sorry! I thought changing my birthday would be a funny April Fools joke, but then I saw everyones sweet wishes and I felt bad. haha This is why I'm not a trickster :) )