There's truly nothing more precious than a sweet baby smile, an excited giggle, or the gentle clap of tiny little hands. It was this that brought me out of the fog that I've been stuck in the last few days. I was in deep. If I had stretched out my arm, I wouldn't have seen my hand. Perhaps the outline would have been there, but it would've been unrecognizable. My heart was hurting in a way that felt so hopeless. It's incredibly painful when you realize you're not being a good wife, mother, or friend. It hurts to think that there's no purpose in you. And by you, of course, I mean me.
"To every broken heart, he stands with open arms. You are wanted." - Dara Maclean
But these babes, they need me. They want me around and I know I can be better for them. It's my goal every day. My purpose is in them.
When I'm feeling sad, I need only to run to my children who light up my world and clear up the fog that tries to engulf me with a simple smile. When K excitedly runs up with his latest, favorite train in his hands and tackles me for a hug...when A decides he'll let me snuggle with him for longer than thirty seconds-- these are my favorite times. Treasured moments. I want to hold on to them forever.
A local photographer asked me to help build up her portfolio by taking some maternity and newborn shots. I was thrilled! Well, initially I wasn't THAT excited about photos of myself as I feel like a big fat cow....
but after promising we wouldn't do any bare belly shots or anything like that, she talked me into posing for her and I'm so glad I did. It was really fun! I got a break from Cray K and some much needed girl time in. It was so nice to have someone new to chat with. I am pleased with the photos she captured, too. Here's a little preview-
Anyway, I don't have a lot to say today, but you can find me here if you'd like-
I'm off to enjoy one of my last days as a family of three. Captain J is off work so I'm happy to have this time with him...if he would just quit tickling me!
I haven't blogged much recently. Sometimes I sit down thinking- I have so much to tell them! Then I realize that finding a black widow spider at my backdoor and /or moving Baby K's crib mattress down a notch isn't exactly thrilling news. Just another day at the Mrs. K and Captain J household. Well, anyway- I may not have many adventure stories anymore but I'm glad you're here.
I thought I'd tell you what's been happening in our little life here.
Currently I am:
Reading:
This book is really good. It's a fictional piece following the life of a man who seems to be at the lowest point of his life. He lost his job and then was fired from the next. Struggling to make ends meet, he becomes desparate. He then has an opportunity to travel back in time to gain wisdom and advice from some historical figures such as Anne Frank and Christopher Columbus. The story is entertaining and at the same time it's uplifting with words of wisdom that can be applied to my own life. I really like it.
Watching:
This is my new favorite addition to my seemingly endless reality t.v. show collection on our DVR. If you don't like the Palin's, I don't wanna hear about it (kidding, kind of) because I think they're interesting, entertaining, and yeah- a good ole American family. I could be wrong but I think they're good people. Watching the show makes me miss Alaska, though. I just love how people leave you alone there. No one cares who you are or what you're doing as long as it doesn't infringe upon them. I just want a small town nestled in the mountains to call home but if you've been reading awhile, you probably already know that!
Loving:
I told you Baby K had his first real photo sesh the other day, right? I was so proud of him. He giggled as the camera came out and his photos turned out so cute. I love that I will finally have some nice ones to frame. Photos were taken by Herald Photography. If you're in the Fort Polk area, look her up. She's awesome!
Anything productive. Captain J only goes into work briefly in the morning and then the rest of the day he is mine-all-mine (he has a little break this week). This makes for a very lazy Mrs. K. Perhaps this is why our suitcase from our trip is still sitting in the kitchen waiting to be totally unpacked and dishes are piling up in the sink. No one ever accused me of being all work and no play!
Can't chat long, must return to slave driver (read: school work).
I trust you all had a great Memorial Day. Mine was spent traveling much of the time, but I was with my soldier so I was happy for that.
I've been one busy gal, as you can probably gather from my one sentence paragraphs (which isn't a paragraph at all, is it?). I don't have time for much of nothin' right now, but I hope to get caught up or (*gasp) ahead of schedule with my school work if I can. I'm sorry I haven't been commenting as much. I'm still keeping up with all of you, though. I didn't want to neglect my responsibilities as blogger extraordinaire either though so I'm finally posting those pictures from my baby shower. And I thought I'd tell you a bit about Week 29.
In short, it sucks.
I kid, I kid. But I did wake up to some pretty painful heart burn. At least I hope that's all it is. Lately, every morning has been a hassle just getting out of bed. Not only am I trying to maneuver my big ole belly around, but I'm also nursing some nausea and aches and pains. Usually I feel better if I just suck it up and crawl out of bed to start the day, though.
Is August here yet?
No.
Oh, that's right. I still have to pack up my house, move to another state, change doctors, find new house, nest, and complete required graduate course work before all that happens.
Good grief. At least I've got the best friends and family a girl could ask for-
There are so many more, but my computer is being lame (as usual) so I must leave you with those. Thanks for taking a peek. Hopefully, I'll talk with you soon. I have a giveaway happening this week- my first ever! Get excited :)
Or maybe it's just that I enjoy keeping you in suspense.
Regardless, I can say that I'm ready to share my Christmas 2010 pictures with you finally....five months later.
Our Christmas celebration started off with me informing my family of our wee one on the way. I gave each family unit cards declaring "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" from us! But on the back, I wrote our little known secret. To my great pleasure, everyone was utterly confused as to why I was making a big deal out of our Christmas cards this year. They were all probably contemplating exactly how self-involved I really am...
Then they slowly came to the realization that there might be something more...
(I think Papaw was still slightly confused here because he was looking at my sister) But congratulatory hugs were in order...
(Side Note: I wonder if I'll ever be skinny again.)
We had a wonderful meal, as usual. My mimi is a fabulous cook!
We posed for some picture taking-
and laughed at all the sweet and funny moments the kids of the family bring to Christmas celebrations.
Captain J and I held onto permanent smiles thinking about how next years photo will have a certain four month old joining in on all the fun.
"Christmas is forever, not for just one day, for loving, sharing, giving, are not to put away like bells and lights and tinsel, in some box upon a shelf. The good you do for others is good you do yourself."
- Norman W. Brooks, "Let Every Day Be Christmas"
If you like the photos in this post, be sure to check out the good folks who captured these memories at Fritts Photography.
Remember when I promised you long, long ago that I would add more photos from our trip across America? Well, I'm a liar no more! Here they are...in all their glory. Please excuse my inability to make slideshows/movies/etc. There's an extremely awkward part towards the end, but I have no desire to fix it. Maybe I'll get better, ehh? Probably not. Enjoy!
I haven't really kept you in the loop about what is going on in my life due to my other projects so I thought I'd participate in- What's On My Phone
I have quite a few funny photos to share- some old, some new, some borrowed, some blue. Ok, there's no wedding pictures on here, but my mom did send me a few the other night as she walked down memory lane and I saved them to my phone because I want to keep them forever.
Where shall I start?
How bout here? My brother went on his first real date:
Aren't they cute? He was cute here, too but clearly more trouble-
It makes me feel old, in a way, to hear that he is actually dating. I remember the chubby cheeked little toddler who would run as fast as he could to get to mine and my sister's rooms just in time for a door to the face. Adolescent girls do not want to hang with snotty nose little brothers! But as I got older and he did, too- I've realized he is the best brother a girl could ask for. He really is a good kid and I know he'll go far in life...because, well, he's awesome and that's just what we do in my family ;)
Here's a photo of the 3 siblings. I'll give you one guess which one I am-
No, I'm not the cute little diva in blue- that's my sister. I would be the awkward California Raisin on the right. I told you I've always loved Halloween!
I've also always loved to check myself with cameras instead of mirrors. Cameras, for me, always give the worst possible image back. I could start the day feeling pretty good about myself and then I snap a photo and the little facade ends. Cameras portray what everyone else sees while a mirror just shows me what I see- that's why I like to check myself before I leave the house. Here are two pictures that I never deleted where I am doing just that:
I never claimed to not be weird. The above picture was taken just before our trip to Calloway Gardens this past weekend. We had a nice time, but are looking forward to going back in the spring when all is in full bloom!
Another sweet moment from this past week was when my dearie played his guitar for me and sang a bit-
I'm one lucky gal. One of these days, I'll post a 13 week photo for you to show my progress, but taking pictures of my ever growing belly isn't high on my list of favorite things to do. In fact, I'm already dreaming of when that sweet baby is in my arms and I can start working towards this goal:
Hot Mama! haha :) This is my mom awhile back. I just can't wait to feel skinny again! Well, that's about all I've got for you today, but I'll leave you with a video I took on my phone of Drifter. He was very confused about the sound J's marker was making. I love his little head tilt!
Carina at the Blogette was dared to show the 10th picture in the first photo album from her computer and tell about it so I decided to pass the fun along. I'm not sure if you're ready for this, though. Seriously, I crimped my hair. No idea why...this photo wasn't taken that long ago. Don't judge!
This is my lovely friend, Dana and me at a hotel in Charlotte, North Carolina. We were in town for a psychology convention. In this photo, we were headed to check out other students' research the bar. I'll just go ahead and be honest...we only made it to one meeting! We were too busy seeing what all Charlotte had to offer. Many restaurants, museums, and trolley rides later we remembered why we came and got to the convention just in time to see the best lecture they had all weekend. It was on Multiple Personality Disorder, which is now called Dissociative Identity Disorder. I had a fun weekend and ended up re-connecting with an old friend who also happened to be in Charlotte.
