Bullet Points of Things You Should Know

*I'm trying to figure out if I still blog. I have increasingly picked up my pen and paper journal over the last few weeks, something I haven't done regularly for about a year! I just noticed that some of you were leaving/unsubscribing and I thought you might be tired of me talking about the struggles we've been having lately. Not that it matters, really- I know this is my blog and I can write freely, but at the same time I wonder myself if this is something I should continue to share.
*This busy season of our lives has me away from the computer a lot, too. Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had this entire pregnancy. I woke up feeling sick, but I just tried to ignore and drink lots of water. I went about my day, dropping off the kids at school and decided to go shopping to look for baby items. As I walked through the stores, I stayed near the restrooms thinking that any minute I was going to need them. It was the first trimester all over again. I finally capitulated and came home to rest before I had to pick the boys up at two. When I woke up from my nap, I felt really really awful. When I got home from getting them, I put them to sleep despite one of them already having a nap that day and crawled in bed myself. I spent the evening violently ill and having pretty regular contractions. I was alarmed, but around 11pm last night, I started to feel slightly better.
*I have no less than 80 billion mosquito bites on my pasty white legs. I feel so hot. ;)
*My pal from college has written another book. Book 2 in the Ethereal Underground Trilogy is available today on Amazon! Here's more about it:

Mark of Deceit

By Brooke Kennedy and Briana Gaitan

Book two in the Ethereal Underground Trilogy

Release Date 6/3/2014

Available TODAY at Amazon  $2.99 (Other formats coming soon)

Good Read Summary

Goodreads Link

Website

She thought that her Elders would welcome her back home with open arms…
He thought that she would stay by his side forever…
Now a friend is missing….
They thought the seer’s words were just that…words
But not all is as it seems….

Months later, Ash and Annalise have both returned to their separate lives after their adventure in the forbidden layer of Cabalin, Both of them are struggling to move on with their lives. Fighting has kept Ash busy for the most part, but it allows him to release his frustrations and earn some gems to survive. He thought renouncing the keepers would free him, but he ended up losing his way. Annalise is plagued by nightmares and emotions that are even more out of control than before. She is desperate for an answer, desperate for a way out, until the Elders offer her exactly what she needs: a way to break the bond with Ash in return for her compliance with their own mission

Author Links

Briana Gaitan

www.facebooks.com/booksbybree

www.bookswithbree.com

Brooke Kennedy

www.facebook.com/beneaththesilvermoon

www.brookekennedy.org

Launch Party/ Book Signing

https://www.facebook.com/events/236615703206203/

I hope you'll check it out. I haven't read it yet, but I look forward to it when life slows down a bit here.

*I'm still taking classes. I worked ahead when my latest class became available and was able to do next to nothing for about three weeks. It has been strange. Such a big difference from last semester. I need to get to work and finish up the other four weeks of assignments now. That would be so helpful to not have that to worry about as baby's arrival gets closer and closer.

*In case you didn't know, I'm 29 weeks along. Whoa Nelly.

*Exciting things are coming up for my business. This summer, I'll be attending at least two local 5Ks where I'll be setting up shop. This is your chance to come and shop in person. Follow along on facebook for more information. Additionally, I have several new designs up and coming! We're expanding to provide men's and children's gear, too. Here's the latest shirt. It's my new fav:

Like it? Shop here.

*Ok, I've got to start my day now. Wish me luck that it's not a repeat of tomorrow. Pretty, please?

Love,

Currently

Excited About: Being cleared to workout again postpartum. I'm tired of my achy back, soft body, and getting kicked all day long. I can't wait to hold little baby M in my arms and be able to put him down every so often so I can work out! I want to run again. I want to be fast. I want those endorphins.

Reading:

(Just Finished) 

(It was good)

Feeling: Oh, pretty good. The stress level is down a bit, I'd say. I am working ahead in the class I'm taking right now so that I won't have a ton of stuff to do as baby's due date gets closer.

Crafting: I'm going to give this a whirl. I bought all the stuff earlier this week-

(not my photo)

Also, I'm working on a display board for my sweet middle child. It is a work in progress, but it will hopefully help him to communicate by pointing to it when he needs something and is frustrated. It has basic tasks and items we use on a regular basis.

Working On: Counseling 603, Catching up on laundry so I can wash and organize tiny baby clothes, and creating new designs for my shop

Grateful For: I got a call early this week that they found some loaner hearing aids for Baby A! I was thrilled and so thankful. They won't cost us anything and he can use them as long as he needs them. He has to wear them at least three months in preparation for the cochlear implant process.

Doc Says-

"Share these" he says as he throws me a bag of 2 servings of M&Ms and saunters out the door in a suit and tie. Off to another business dinner, I'll imagine he's having steak and wine while I'm heating up chicken nuggets and pretending mashed potatoes is a vegetable. There's no chance these boys are getting any M&Ms. They've been nuts today. Mostly Baby A. He has yet another ear infection. He just can't seem to get rid of them and they are making me crazy. He's a very cranky young man these days and is making it hard on me to get anything done. It seems like my house is always in disarray. I try, I do, but you can only sweep up crumbs and wipe up milk eighty five times a day before you're just like "BRING ON THE ANTS- I'm sitting down".
I'm so tired. There's not enough time in the day and there certainly isn't enough time for me to sit down and write here, but I'm doing it anyway. That's where I've been lately- tending to my children, going to school, and working on my business in between baby #3 doctor appointments. It has been nuts. I have sat and waited in a doctor's office three times this week and I realize it's Thursday. The rate we've been going, I'm just crossing my fingers that number doesn't climb by the weeks end.
I have exactly eight days left in this semester. Everything EVERYTHING is due right now and these sicknesses my boys keep struggling with often throw a kink in my plans. I'm going to get this all done, though...and then I'm going to relax start another class. Boo.
Anyway, I really appreciate all the congratulatory comments you made on my last post about the babe starting to babble. I really was beginning to think he was on the mend and that when he got his tubes put in his ears that he would be talking up a storm in no time. I was hesitant to feel that way, but still I threw my hopes into that and I shouldn't have. Monday morning, I took him to a developmental specialist who assessed him and apologized profusely that it took her so long to see him. She said, "I don't know how he slipped through the cracks! We should have seen him after his referral in January." "Well, yeah", I thought, "Someone is finally taking me seriously about his language delay." She stepped out of the appointment to call Vanderbilt and try to get me squeezed into an appointment as quickly as possible after she heard about the delay we were experiencing in Chattanooga with both the ENT and audiologist there. She said it was unacceptable. She called Vandy and they didn't have any openings until the end of July, unless I could come the next morning because they just had a cancellation. I told her I absolutely would and began making plans to travel in the awful weather so we could get there to get him checked out by "the best." I got too worried to drive that night so I ended up leaving bright and early with my sister the next morning to drive to Nashville. The folks there relayed a much different diagnosis to us regarding his hearing. She told us that while the tests they were doing weren't as accurate as the ABR, she was confident enough to tell us that Baby A is experiencing severe to profound hearing loss. He's deaf.

I could tell you a million different things right now that I've been thinking about. It's mostly guilt. Confusion. Worry.
We started the process of getting him cochlear implants that day. She said that what she saw would need to be confirmed by his upcoming sedation ABR/tube insertion but that she was ready to get us started on this path because it does take a long time. This coming Monday, we will take my sweet boy off to have his ears molded for fitting of hearing aids. We've been told that the hearing aids will not allow him to hear, but rather get him used to having something on his ear and the sensations of possible sound amplification. During the tests, she had the machine up as loud as it would go (hurting my own ears) and he did not respond so she doesn't expect these to help at all but it is just part of the process.
I know he's usually happy. I know he'll be just fine. Still, I often break out in tears because K tries to talk to him all day. I'm sure they will develop their own way of communicating, but right now as I watch it just hurts my heart. I wish I could help Baby A. We have lots of specialists in our future who can, though and so I'm working diligently to get all these lined up for him. That's where I've been lately. I've been busy.

I'm hoping things will slow down soon and I can venture back to the land of blogging. I miss it very much. Thank you all for the texts, calls, and comments you've left already about my boy. He's going to be just fine and is exactly who God wants him to be and I can find joy in that. I'm so happy to be his mom.
Thanks for checking in with us.

Love,

*Photos by Becky Davis

Mid Week News

I miss meeting you here every day. My time to write is now dedicated to research papers and discussion board posts, something I dread almost every day. I only have about 3.5 more weeks with these two classes and then I'm cutting back. I took on too much; I know that. Yesterday, I couldn't hold my eyes open. The strain of this pregnant body bending over to pick up children, the weight of this new adventure, and trying to do the best I can in my graduate studies was weighing on me. I'm tired. Every day when I have to march the kids off to their Mother's Day Out program twice a week, I find myself questioning what I'm going to do without them at home with me. Sure, there are plenty of things I could do- clean the house without having to stop a task 85 times to change a diaper, break up a toy scuffle, or redirect someone's wandering hands that are headed toward a bucket of cleaning supplies. Perhaps I could take a test or write a paper. All things that need to be done. Yet, I think about what they're doing at school and how I'm missing it all and for what purpose? To obtain a degree I care little about? What I really want from life is to look back knowing I did all I could for my children and see that they are happy, functioning adults who chase after God's will in their lives. I'm not too sure how this degree fits into that. Still, I grew up with the lesson that we finish what we start and so I want to do this. Maybe just one class next semester, though. 

We're all doing well. My second born is babbling, finally! It's music to my ears to hear the occasional sounds that actually sound like he might hear us when we talk. Babies half his age are doing this and so it has been a long time coming. "Da, da, da" and "La, la, la" all day long. It's wonderful.

K is hilarious. He makes me laugh a lot. One thing he says that is just completely untrue is that "Money's on the couch." If he talks to J throughout the day and he asks where I am, he'll say that I'm sitting on the couch every single time. Y'all. I hardly have time to sit down. Yet, that's where he always says I am. It makes me sound lazy. Little fibber. 

My coffee is gone so that must mean it's time to start the day. I hope you all have a great one. I'm gonna meditate on this thought today:

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:7

Happy Wednesday!

(Photos by Stephanie Bright Hatcher)

Tuesday Therapy

I'm so close to having several dreams realized. They're right there. I'm working toward them, but I'm also tired. So tired. I don't know if it's this pregnancy, motherhood, or what but I'm just constantly feeling the need to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks. It's bad, y'all.

It's that feeling that there's always one more thing to do. Dishes, homework, meetings, doctor appointments. There's never any break. Not really. The only reason I have time to sit down now is because I'm currently allowing the baby to sleep well into the evening and the toddler is dumping all the dirt from my flower pots out while I watch from the sun room. Choose your battles, right? That's why we're having pizza tonight while Daddy is off at his work meeting and I'm hanging with the kids because I refuse to make another meal that is just going to primarily end up on the floor or in the trash because Cray K is so darn picky. I just can't deal with it today.

This morning I went to an AA meeting to fulfill requirements for one of my classes. I was supposed to be observing and I did, but all I could think about was how these women weren't all that different from me. They mentioned similar struggles I have and I found myself wanting to be a part of their little (big!) community just so I could share, too. They all had support. I found myself wondering if I could just meet up with my close friends every day or every other day for one hour just to talk if that could turn my life around, too. I think I'm on to something here, don't you? ;) Oh, a girl can dream.

These next few months are going to be bananas, I know that. The next few years are, too. It's just this season of life right now that makes me feel on the go. It's part of it. Just yesterday, I heard an old man whisper to someone (talking about me), "She sure has her hands full, doesn't she?" And my kids weren't even screaming. Pregnant belly. Toddler. Baby. Yes, my hands are so full. My heart is, too. But Lord, so is my head. I've been thinking all week about why we ever left the beaches of Florida and I just can't seem to recall it. I could sure use a sunny beach nap sans kids. 

It's not even Wednesday, is it?

To Keep You Apprised

I wrote a long post yesterday that will probably never be published. I talked about the rough time we've had as a couple since we moved home and the growing indifference I'm beginning to feel about this decision with J's job. Maybe I meant all of it, maybe I meant none of it. Regardless, in the archives it will stay because I can't bring myself to share that much. We were supposed to know the decision by now, but we were contacted- instructed to wait until tomorrow for news. I can still honestly say that we desire God's plan for our lives so we aren't very worried about what will happen. We also don't really want to move, but I suppose that's not off the table. The thing that makes me nervous is that I really like Cleveland. It is a great community of believers and it feels like home already. I have a running trail just minutes from my house. We found a church we enjoy. I can go out to TJMaxx and run into extended family there. I can't tell you how comforting that is after years of moving every year and never having anyone that can just stop by your house to visit or run into a loved one out in town. It gets incredibly lonely. All these reasons make me nervous because usually if I like the place we're living that means we are about to leave. It happened in Alaska, Georgia, and Florida. Just when I started to settle in with friends, a church, and a happy little life, the Army took us other places. 

Tomorrow also brings with it other news. Baby A (who is looking a lot less like a baby and a lot more like a little man!) has an appointment to have the ABR done. They are going to try to do it without sedation which I think is a pipe dream, but maybe it will work. I just hate to think of another wasted trip to Chattanooga, hours at the doctors office, and hours paying a babysitter only to learn nothing new. Sounds like life to me, though. Speaking of my dear middle child, he is changing so much! His hair is starting to curl like his big bro's and he's running all over the house to try to keep up. Toy scuffles are frequent and he is often winning.

Cray K holds his own, though. He is an incredibly sweet and feisty two year old. There are some days that I'm amazed he's mine. He wants to hold my hand all day, leading me around to show me things. "Watch this, Money!" "Take hand, take hand." He says the funniest things. At night when we pray, every name mentioned he is sure to tell us where they are which is "home". He also answers with "Of course!" more often than not. Would you like to go to the grocery store? "Of course!" It's just funny peeking into his brain. This is totally a mom paragraph, isn't it? Anyway, he's mostly sweet but as toddlers do he is often a fit-pitching crazy man. You never know what you're gonna get.

We love our boys...and we're looking forward to finding out the sex of the little avocado sized babe in my belly. It will be nice to pick out a name and start imagining the little personality and face of our third child. It's something to look forward to.

I have so much more to tell you. I've been a busy gal. I'm signed up (and Paid In Full- eek) to go back to school in a few weeks. I'm very nervous. I signed up for two online classes which is going to be incredibly difficult with the little ones at home. Last time I only had one class and it was hard to stay on top of things, but here's my theory: I excel the busier I am. I remember one semester as an undergrad that I took something like 18 or 19 hours and I OWNED it. Maybe that's what will happen this time. I'm busy with school, but I'm also busy raising our family and starting a business! I will tell you more about it in time but it involves combining two of my passions: faith and fitness. I'm excited about it and I hope you will be, too!

Speaking of exercise, I've been able to do it more regularly. As the weather warms up, I've been hitting the pavement more often, running mostly to clear my mind. It's unreal how much slower this pregnant belly of mine has made me. It's embarrassing, but I figure movement is better than no movement at all so I keep truckin'. I certainly feel like a semi when I'm out on the trail. When I'm not outside jogging, I use the weights in my home gym and enjoy a bike ride inside. If we find out J's job isn't affected by the downsizing, we are going to join the Y. I hope I stay passionate about being active during this pregnancy. Lord willin' I want to be jogging until the day I go into labor!

That's enough of an update. I had better go make these boys their breakfast. Happy middle-of-the-week, friends.

Regards,

Education: A Guest Post

On Saturdays, I like to fork over my blog to guests and this Saturday is no different. I'm busy planning, planning, planning but enjoy this guest post regarding education from Danielle.

What does the world hold for you?

No matter how much we plan, we can't control the way the world turns out or the things that life can make happen to us. We spend a lot of time worrying about things that are beyond our control. Learning to be happy is, in some measure, an exercise in learning to let go and to accept and to absorb. But that doesn't mean that you can't be one of the influences that shape and determine your future. You, more than anyone will have the power and the knowledge to improve and to direct your future. One of the way that you can do this is through education. Doing the right course and gaining the right education can open doors for you and unlock your potential, changing the course of your life. Sometimes people can be put off education by the intimidation of the closed world of academia. This needn't be the case, because these days education means much more than theorising, it means certificates and qualifications for many sorts of practical jobs. Places like Ascet tech education offer hands-on courses in jobs and career paths that could be hard to break into without a qualification. These sorts of adjustments can, in the long run, help us to enjoy our lives more. With the rise of online education, learning is more accessible than ever to people whose lives have already taken a definite direction, people who might have other responsibilities like paid work, children and family, and who can't commit to the traditional on-campus learning experience. If you think your life's not over yet, why not start something new?

Vermont Bound

(Shirt & Shorts: Target, Red Eel skin purse: thrifted)

(*That photo has nothing to do with this post, I just wore that recently and wanted to share)

(**I know. I'm in desperate need of an eyebrow waxing.)

Hey y'all. It has been awhile since I just sat down and wrote without some topic in mind. The kids are both sleeping (seriously just as I wrote that, Baby A started crying! Hold please...)

...and I'm back. I gave in again. For the past few months we've been half-heartedly trying to get rid of the swaddle that he is increasingly addicted to. Yes, my child is 6 months old and still needs his swaddle. I think I need it more than him. Two days ago, I was gung-ho about getting rid of it for good. The first day went fairly well. I didn't wrap him for his naps. He did okay falling to sleep on his own and slept for about an hour each time. Then we decided to just go cold turkey with it and not give it to him that night either. He fell asleep, but the first hour he woke up at least ten times, cried briefly, and then fell back asleep. But at the end of that hour, his flailing hands startled him so much that he was screaming his terrified, overly tired cry and nothing would settle him. I searched for his favorite swaddle fresh from the dryer and didn't look back. He slept all night for the first time in a long time.

I know we swaddled K forever, but if I remember correctly, his arms weren't the problem. I think he liked having them out of the swaddle, he just wanted something snug around his torso. Baby A sleeps by our bed and he can't really roll over in the co-sleeper so it's not a safety issue so I suppose it's fine for now. I mean, he won't use a swaddle forever, right?

Anyway, we're off on another adventure for the next week or so. Captain J, Baby A, and I are traveling (via car- blah) to Vermont for the week to watch him graduate with his MBA! I'm so proud. K will be staying with his Lolly and Pop in Tennessee, though. I'm nervous to leave him for so long. He has never been without both of us at the same time. We've also never left him for this long, either. He'll be in good hands though and I think it will be good for him. I know it will be good for us. That little toddler tornado has been a handful lately. I hope I don't miss him too much. No doubt I'll miss him blowing me kisses and randomly hugging me throughout the day- little sweetie.

That reminds me. I should be packing.

Have a great weekend, friends!

I need a few minutes

I'm done. The semester is over and I'm hoping to start breathing at a steady pace again. I have been incredibly stressed trying to balance motherhood, grad school and changing my lifestyle to a healthier one.

Yesterday was Mother's Day. The boys are sick so we couldn't go to church. J and I both had a whole host of busy work due for our graduate programs and there was only time for wiping snotty noses and perusing through research articles, pretending to read and understand them while small children scream neediness in our ears. While everyone was posting photos with their own mothers or children, we were doing the doggy paddle just trying to stay above water. Yesterday wasn't fun. I kept thinking, "All I want is to go out by myself for a few minutes" but that's a pipe dream these days. I feel bad for even admitting I need time to myself.

The day wasn't all bad, though. In between toddler tantrums and baby coughing fits, there was my husband who was trying to make the best of my second Mother's Day. He gave me a card, cleaned the kitchen, asked me to go take a nap (which of course is impossible here), and then later fixed me a delicious meal.

I'm lucky to have him.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Cray K wants a "badeeta" (banana) and I have to get this house in working order again. I'm glad to be back to blogging.

Love,

Addicted

There's simply no time for this little blog anymore. I wake up, grab some coffee, and the bible and read it with my husband until he leaves for work. Before I know it, the babes are up and at 'em and my day flies by with diapers, sippy cups, and very little sanity. If the boys happen to nap at the same time (which is rare), I am exercising or working on my graduate degree. By the time J walks through the door from work, I've got my running shoes on and I'm ready to go because I'm addicted. The high I get from running now is the best. It feels so good to be back at it and pushing my body (and mind) in ways that I haven't since 2008! I'm slowly but surely getting back into running. It's my me time and I really don't want to spend it any other way.

I'm surely driving my IG followers nuts with #mrskgetsfit posts, but I can't care. I sign in to see the progress so many people are making in their own lives and it inspires me to do the same. Since I've started documenting my workouts more, I've received so many messages telling me that I encourage them on their weight loss/fitness journey. I'll keep on posting for them...and for me.

My diet (and I use that term very loosely) has not been going well. I can easily clean up my diet throughout the week, but when the weekend rolls around, I completely derail everything I did throughout the week. This past weekend, J's parents arrived with cookies, biscotti, and pie and all bets were off. I just can't give up sweets.

I'm down to:

Weight: 125

and feeling pretty good about it. I would still like to lose about five more lbs. I'm not dwelling on the number, though. The goal is to feel good in my own skin.

Speaking of the weekend, we had a great one! I'll try to get around to telling you all about it sometime soon. These next two weeks will be crazy busy as I finish up two huge projects for the class I'm in, but I'll come back and share when time permits. Thanks to all who check in here with us! We're doin' good.

P.S. I found my favorite place to run-

XOXO,

Sharing here:

Currently

Currently Feeling: Uninspired here. I haven't written much lately because I've been busy with school and looking after my sweet boys. I've just been trying to soak them up while simultaneously not losing my ever-lovin' mind. Honestly, I felt if I wrote here that negativity would spill out and I don't want that (see Matthew 12:36; Ephesians 4:29). I've just been angry following the news stories lately. This world is a scary place and I often question why I brought these two precious, innocent boys into it. If only I could protect them forever. Still, I'm trying to unplug a little more and focus on the good in my life. I need only to look around and see God's many blessings.

Currently Proud of: Getting promoted with Scentsy! Want to help me celebrate? Shop here. Speaking of Scentsy, this is how K greets me every morning- hugging his little Scentsy buddy...making monkey sounds. Cute as can be.

Currently Excited About: I hit the half way mark in this graduate class! I hope I can finish strong. My grades are great right now and I'm trying to manage my time appropriately.

Currently Reading: Don't you judge me.

Current Exercise Goals:

*I have been participating in #WallSitMonth over at MindOverMunch and I'm happy with my progress so far. My goal is to finish up this month strong by working up to a five minute wall sit!

*I can also report that I'm getting faster in my runs. I met a new friend (hooray!) who used to do marathons, but due to some health issues she had to stop training. She is just now getting back into running and was looking for a partner. I'm supposed to go running with her today! I hope I can keep up and I know she'll push me to go faster and longer. My goal is to keep logging some miles. I feel those endorphins and I love it!

Currently Pinning:

These are some of my favorite recent pins.

Source: makeabrandnewstartofit.tumblr.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

Source: someecards.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

Source: backonpointe.tumblr.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

Source: sheinside.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

I'm all about this color of green these days.

Current Mood:

Happy as a clam!

xoxo,

Just so you're trackin'

"Just so you're trackin' "

Captain J says those words a lot. It's our little way of keeping up with each other and what we have going on/what is important to remember. Thus, I shall share some of those with you today. 

First of all, all the cool bloggers are making the big switch:

Being a follower and all, I better do it too. Because Google Reader is calling it quits, I've been using BlogLovin' for keeping up with all of y'all. I kind of love it! I find that it's easier to use and more convenient. That being said, please please let me know if you're following me and I haven't followed back. I've seen a lot of new faces but I read so many blogs that I'm not sure if I have returned the favor. I blog to express myself and keep myself sane. Part of that is enjoying connections made with various blog pals. I like making new bloggy friends and I certainly am not ignoring you on purpose if I happened to not have followed back.

Also, just so you're trackin'...
I have the best bloggy pals ever. This past week I got two deliveries from people I've never actually met in person. I'm so blessed to call many of you friends. One sweet blogger sent me several cloth diapers thereby saving me from having to wash every single day. That, my friends, is awesome!

Another blogger does a weekly linkup that encourages bloggers to participate in acts of random kindness. She sent me a gift card that I finally cashed in for this--

The wrap, not the baby. You can't just pick up a jewel like that anywhere. He took nine long months to make. Anyway, I have been enjoying this wrap actually. We've battled the baby wearing trend so much with my boys. They didn't seem to like it much, no matter what carrier I tried. I found that A really likes the "adventurer" position. That's good because his head is a little lopsided. I noticed shortly before his three month appointment that the right side of his head was looking a little flat. When I asked the doctor about it, she confirmed that it was and we should start working to change that or he'd likely need to be fitted for a helmet soon. I felt so sad for not noticing sooner. Then I read a comment someone (who isn't even a parent, by the way) posted to someone else saying, "If you hold your baby at all then a misshapen head won't be a problem." I wanted to cry...and then I wanted to yell at her for saying something so ridiculous. Mean girl. Anyway, the doctor suggested we put Baby A on his side for sleeping and see how that goes. He is such a sweet soul and is adapting well to laying on his side. I thought it was helping, but now I think that may have been in my head. I don't know what else we can do, really. I'll keep you updated with his progress when I learn more at his 4 month appointment.

You should also know that a miracle occurred the other day:

I survived a shopping trip with both boys for...HOURS. It was amazing. They were both great and SAT IN THE STROLLER.  I mean, I didn't even recognize Cray K. It was weird...and glorious because I got in some much needed adult conversation with one of the girls in the mommy group I joined on FB.


Just so you're trackin', we also have started trying to get Cray K socialized. It's a big to do. He did really well at church the other day (and we found a church we like!). He acted like he might cry when we left snuck out and watched from a window, but he didn't and we got to enjoy 1.5 hours of a service sans children. It was great! I also signed us up for MyGym where I get to play with him and a bunch of other kids/parents in a structured class each week. He was very nervous, but he began to warm up after awhile and ended up crying because he didn't want to leave!

Oh, and just so you're trackin'- We got Comcast to send us a new device and now I can access my graduate work. I guess I'm really doing this again! Week one went well. I'd really like to get ahead one of these days, but here I sit- blogging and NOT doing homework. Some people never learn.

Just so you're trackin' : Amber has a huge giveaway going on. Up for grabs? Starbucks, PayPal, Forever 21, Target, and Amazon prizes. Sa-weet!

Happy Monday! What's new in your life?

Nothing Is Impossible

I woke up Monday morning feeling motivated. I had recently cracked open a fortune cookie that read, "Happiness is activity." With that in mind, I set out to enjoy my day by being productive. I wanted to have the house in order, the kids taken care of, and the majority of my school work done for the week. You know what? I did it. All of those things were accomplished and then some. I know how--it's because I didn't read a single blog yesterday. You people are time consuming.

Anyway, I was having a really great day and then BAM.

I wasn't.

I tried uploading my homework, participating in required discussion forums, and taking quizzes but none of these things would work for me. It turns out that there's a weird kink with the university's blackboard system that won't work if you're using a Mac and Comcast (Xfinity) Internet together. I was bummed. Actually, bummed is not the word. I was pissed. I mean, if you're going to take thousands of dollars out of my wallet, you should probably let me know if there's a stipulation to attending school online. News flash- A lot of people have Macs...and a lot of people use Comcast. I was so angry, still am really but I'm trying to deal with it.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm just so emotional about everything lately. I'm attributing it to my hormones still being out of whack after having Baby A, but I really don't like who I am right now. After spending half the day trying to figure out the problem with my class, I wanted to give up. That tight, awful feeling started gripping my chest and I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. It wasn't just the initial WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME? It was more along the lines of WHO DO I THINK I AM? I CAN'T DO THIS. I JUST NEED TO ACCEPT THAT AND MOVE ON. Honestly, I tried to get a hold of an advisor so I could drop the class and get my money back. I called after-hours, though or I would have quit again. I was that stressed.

I find myself wishing I knew what God wanted me to do. I really don't know if this is the route I'm supposed to take. I just feel like I should take some route instead of standing idle. I don't know if I want to listen to other people discuss their marital issues with me, though. I've got my own family who needs my attention, ya know? Still, I hate to start something I didn't finish and that's the only reason I want to continue on this journey I started years ago.

It's going to be hard enough going to school with two small children at home with me. The last thing I need is to not be able to work from our computers. It is so frustrating. That's where I'm at right now. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to proceed from here. I'm told Comcast can replace the device I have with one that will work, but I'm not holding my breath. I went to bed angry about all of this. I woke up angry, too.

I got out my devotional this morning and flipped open to find the perfect words for me to hear today. They were so good, I began writing them in my prayer journal:

Just the thinking WHY DOES EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME is shameful. I hate when that thought floats across my brain. Because, really Mrs. K?

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Clearly, I'm so very blessed. I want to cry at just the thought of questioning this life of ours. Life is so so good. I have every reason to be happy. My boys are happy and healthy and that's my most important job in this life of mine. I don't need anything else.

It is my prayer that I recognize this every single day.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us."

Ephesians 3:20