I'm so close to having several dreams realized. They're right there. I'm working toward them, but I'm also tired. So tired. I don't know if it's this pregnancy, motherhood, or what but I'm just constantly feeling the need to prop my eyelids open with toothpicks. It's bad, y'all.
It's that feeling that there's always one more thing to do. Dishes, homework, meetings, doctor appointments. There's never any break. Not really. The only reason I have time to sit down now is because I'm currently allowing the baby to sleep well into the evening and the toddler is dumping all the dirt from my flower pots out while I watch from the sun room. Choose your battles, right? That's why we're having pizza tonight while Daddy is off at his work meeting and I'm hanging with the kids because I refuse to make another meal that is just going to primarily end up on the floor or in the trash because Cray K is so darn picky. I just can't deal with it today.
This morning I went to an AA meeting to fulfill requirements for one of my classes. I was supposed to be observing and I did, but all I could think about was how these women weren't all that different from me. They mentioned similar struggles I have and I found myself wanting to be a part of their little (big!) community just so I could share, too. They all had support. I found myself wondering if I could just meet up with my close friends every day or every other day for one hour just to talk if that could turn my life around, too. I think I'm on to something here, don't you? ;) Oh, a girl can dream.
These next few months are going to be bananas, I know that. The next few years are, too. It's just this season of life right now that makes me feel on the go. It's part of it. Just yesterday, I heard an old man whisper to someone (talking about me), "She sure has her hands full, doesn't she?" And my kids weren't even screaming. Pregnant belly. Toddler. Baby. Yes, my hands are so full. My heart is, too. But Lord, so is my head. I've been thinking all week about why we ever left the beaches of Florida and I just can't seem to recall it. I could sure use a sunny beach nap sans kids.
It's not even Wednesday, is it?
7 comments:
A sunny beach nap sounds just about perfect right now…
Pick me up on your way to the beach!
Im in a similar frame of mind. Ill meet you at the beach?
Oh the beach sounds so amazing right now! Let's all go!
Hows about we all just meet up at the beach and we can talk and laugh and vent and drink fruity drinks and we will most certainly leave all of the children with our baby daddies. I let loose at PWOC last week and being around women who GET IT was just so refreshing. I wish we could do PWOC daily. Or beach dates with internet friends. :)
Life definitely has a way of being hectic.Most days I have to stop and breathe about a million times. Hang in their friend!
You're one of my heroes, how you do everything you do, I have no idea!
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