Testify

I mentioned some of the struggles that have been filling our house lately, but those are really all small potatoes. Everyone, I've come to find out, struggles with parenthood at some point in their journeys. I'm no different, but I do know there are good days and bad and that I'm going to be okay. 

Parenting woes are not the only stress factor, though. Weeks ago, my former Army Captain linked in to a conference call from his company to hear that they are downsizing. Big time. He is one of the newest employees. We just bought a big ole house. You know where our minds automatically went. But in addition to the worries that crossed our mind was this unexplainable sense of peace. Faith.

I'm not one to not flip out over the smallest issue that feels huge to me. For example, I once thought someone stole our dog because I heard a car take off and simultaneously couldn't find the dog so I jumped to conclusions and shouted to J, "Aren't you gonna dooooo something?" I wanted him to hop in the car and run after the culprits. Instead, he quietly pieced together the situation and Drifter came home wagging his tail a bit later. He was calm. I was a basket case. That is what's typical.

This time, though, there was a comfort that said, "I have plans to prosper you and not to harm you" (Jeremiah 29:11). We spent the next few days talking about it realistically. We would lose our insurance. I'm pregnant. What would we do? Put the house on the market? Dip into more savings to try to make the mortgage while job searching? Sell the house for way less than we bought it for to save our credit? But all these lingering questions didn't matter much. You might call it irresponsible, but I honestly think this feeling is a direct result of knowing the Prince of Peace. He's guiding us. He knows what's best for our family. He brought us to Tennessee for a reason and we are following his will as best we can.

On Sunday, the pastor mentioned Hebrews 11:6

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

And that was it for me. It's all going to be just fine. If he keeps his job, if he loses it- It's all part of the plan and we're going to be okay.

And you know what's more than okay with me? Today is a snow day...finally. I think this is the first time I've seen any substantial amount of snow since we left Alaska. For some reason, our little neck of the woods here hasn't seen hardly any and none of it stuck around. It's still snowing and the roads are covered and this gal is HAPPY! K and I are hoping for a couple inches so we can go play in it while Baby A naps this afternoon.

No worries here.

Love,

House Reveal

Hello, friends. Long time, no chat. I'm writing from my lovely new home that is completely unpacked aside from two large boxes. The military taught me to move in quick and make my space home because we never knew how long we would be there. As I lovingly put together the house this time, I did so feeling as if we were finally home and I just wanted to get everything together so I could enjoy it. Seven moves in over the course of our (almost) four year marriage took its toll on us, but I can honestly say that we are doing well. It's great to have a space of our own now. It's more than that, though. It's a beautiful home that we surely don't deserve, but one that we are thanking God for every day we wake up in it. I want to stay here for years and years (and years). Here's a peek around. Honestly, this house is too big for us. We don't have a lot of furniture to fill it yet so it's all a work in progress. Won't you come in?

We'll start with some empty rooms:

These two rooms connect just off the entry hallway. The formal room is bare and nothing but our table is in the dining area, but that's okay...we'll get there.
Anyway...this way to the bedrooms!

The other bathrooms are new and completely re-done, but this one has the charm of an old home and I happen to think it's perfect as a jack-and-jill bathroom for the boys...

There's a sun room that will surely be an oasis for me when I fill it with comfy chairs. I imagine this is where I'll do my morning bible study.

It connects to the den and kitchen, both of which I love.

I grew tired of snapping photos and loading them, but there's a whole downstairs to this house, too that has a playroom (that I totally plan on making an exercise room in the future), a man cave area with kitchenette, a guest suite, and a closet especially for all my Christmas things! I'm a big fan.
So that's where I've been--setting up and enjoying this lovely home. I hope to catch up with all of you soon.

Love,

P.S. Step out of your readers and come see the new look of Mrs. K and Captain J, too. Freeborboleta Designs spruced it up! I love it.

Fall Fun

12 days (knock on wood) is what separates us from living as a family of four again. Our time in my childhood home is winding down and I'm looking forward to settling in a new town, finding a church home there, and making a life for ourselves. With each move we've made, there's been a sense of a fresh start. It's true for this one, too. I've been contemplating going back to work or going back to school. In general, life is looking up! We've had some struggles over the past few months but it must have been the stress of moving again. So many homes the Captain and I have shared together float through my mind and I can hardly keep them straight. We are happy to finally have a house of our own in a town close to "home" that we will be staying in with no plans of moving. We've never had a permanent place. The feeling is exciting. I hope we don't get anxious. We are very much a military family at heart, after all.

Enjoying fall has been a top priority around here lately. We also haven't had a true fall in a long, long time. Living in Louisiana prior to Florida didn't exactly provide for changing leaves and cool evenings. It was just hot all the time. 

A trip to the pumpkin patch was in order-

Some hiking around Frozen Head State Park-

and K even caught his first fish-

We're makin' memories and trying to enjoy the present. 

How have you and yours celebrated fall?

My purpose is in them.

Photo by Becky at Archives Photography

There's truly nothing more precious than a sweet baby smile, an excited giggle, or the gentle clap of tiny little hands. It was this that brought me out of the fog that I've been stuck in the last few days. I was in deep. If I had stretched out my arm, I wouldn't have seen my hand. Perhaps the outline would have been there, but it would've been unrecognizable. My heart was hurting in a way that felt so hopeless. It's incredibly painful when you realize you're not being a good wife, mother, or friend. It hurts to think that there's no purpose in you. And by you, of course, I mean me.

"To every broken heart, he stands with open arms. You are wanted." - Dara Maclean

But these babes, they need me. They want me around and I know I can be better for them. It's my goal every day. My purpose is in them.

When I'm feeling sad, I need only to run to my children who light up my world and clear up the fog that tries to engulf me with a simple smile. When K excitedly runs up with his latest, favorite train in his hands and tackles me for a hug...when A decides he'll let me snuggle with him for longer than thirty seconds-- these are my favorite times. Treasured moments. I want to hold on to them forever.

Beauty and the Beast

My mother-in-law got me a ticket to go with her to see a Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast at the Tennessee Theatre earlier this week. I haven't been to a play or musical in ages and I had forgotten how much fun they can be. This is one of my very favorite Disney movies so I enjoyed singing (silently in my head, of course) along and remembering all the songs. It was also a nice break from the kiddos. I got to wear heels and feel like a person!

Jeans: Forever 21, Sweater: Ann Taylor Loft (thrifted), Shirt: White House Black Market (thrifted)

I wouldn't be a proper blogger without an #ootd selfie, now would I?

Anyway, the show was amazing...and long. I loved it, though. It was magical!

Photo found via Lehigh Valley

And the detail in the costumes made me pumped about Halloween! I've been in a bit of a funk since we aren't settled yet. I always decorate for Halloween. I enjoy planning our costumes and making them. My sewing machine is packed away, though and I've just been a bit of a Halloween scrooge because of it all. I was inspired by their clothing, though and the next day I went to work planning our own family costumes for this year. I'm getting excited. Hopefully I can throw something together!

Do you like musicals?

Running, Giving, and Living

(Lame title brought to you by lack of creativity and time.)

Well, it has happened again. Every place we end up, I inevitably make a friend that doesn't have a job like me and we are free to hangout most of the day. No plans are involved- just a daily "Hey, wanna go for a walk? or grab some coffee? or watch LMN all day long?" Ok, so maybe I'm just dreaming on the last one. The point is that all good things come to an end. My sister has been walking to my house in the mornings and having a cup of coffee or two after everyone in the house leaves for work since I've moved back here. It has been lovely! But she has always been a working woman at heart, one who wants to work outside the home, one who thrives in that atmosphere. She goes back to work today and I'm just sitting here with my coffee and computer wondering how I'll start my day now. I guess the laundry calls.

I suppose I can start the day off by telling you of a way you can financially help a friend in need. I don't actually know this couple, but I do know the woman who set up the fundraiser. She's one of the strongest people I know. Her husband, Brice, is a veteran. They've been through a lot together over the course of his service and now his family is in need. Nicole is raising money for his aunt and uncle who have dealt with endless medical bills and now have lost their hot water heater. Every little bit helps! If you do choose to donate and donate at least $15, she'll throw your hat in the ring to win a diamond candle (every additional $5 will get you another entry). Go check out that opportunity to spread the love here. If you donate, be sure to let me know and I'll advertise for your small business or throw your blog button up on my side bar for a month or two!

Tuesdays are the days when I update you on my fitness goals/progress, right? I wish I had great news to report. I'm struggling getting into a good routine here. I know that will change when we get into a home of our own. I made several goals this month. Honestly, I don't know that I'll accomplish a single one. The main goal was to do fifty miles in September. After 100 in May, I though that is should be easy but between getting sick and house hunting, I have had little time to get away to run. No excuses, though. I'm at 31 now and it is still a reachable goal. The Marine Mud Run was this past weekend. I got up bright and early with my husband, my bro, and step-mom and went for a run in the pouring down rain. The obstacle course ended up being a lot of fun and I did better than I thought I would. I wish we had pictures to show for it, but the rain and mud would have ruined my camera and no one in their right mind would have come to watch us that day. The rain was awful.

Later that day, we went house hunting again after the second house we made an offer on fell through. I'm hoping third time is the charm, though. We are in negotiations with another house that we love. It's the opposite of everything we initially said we wanted, but it just feels like home. Regardless, we need to find something soon or Mama is gonna go crazy. Maybe I already have.

What else is new? Not a lot. I apologize for not keeping up with all of your blogs right now. Being unsettled means not having a lot of me time in my schedule. I try to read from my phone/ipad but I rarely comment.

These photos have nothing to do with this post.

No one likes a post without a picture, ya know.

That's what has been going on around these parts. 

What's happening in your neck of the woods?

House Blues and Happy News (Vlog)

Sometimes I should ask myself, "Does this matter?" or "Does anyone care?" before I post these things, but today is not that day. 

The Scoop

Thanks for the well wishes on our house hunt. There was such a heavy load lifted from my shoulders when we signed the papers for our new house. It was everything we wanted and we had our move-in date and everything! Two weeks before closing, we got word that the appraisal came back $14,500 less than what we agreed to pay. Trouble was- the owner had gotten an appraisal months before that was much, much higher and so that's what he believes the house is worth. Obviously, we decided not to pay that much money for a house that isn't worth that right now. The owner declined our appraisal offer (with much sass, by the way) and so we walked. Bye, bye beautiful house on five acres. Hello, house hunt. What did we learn? Well, house buying is frustrating. We also learned that maybe we don't want a lot of land right now. Maybe we want the convenience of being closer to the interstate. That house was about 15-20 outside of Cleveland and we were beginning to worry that we had made a mistake although I know we would have been happy there. Everything works out the way it is supposed to, doesn't it? Still, I have an urge to bust into the toddler's room as he naps and grab the countdown-to-closing chain we made and set it on fire since it no longer applies.

I'm pretty discouraged today. For weeks now, I've been telling Holly (our dog) that it won't be much longer and things will be back to normal for her. She went from living inside with us to staying in a pen on the back of the property here. She's lonely. Furthermore, we are still in my parents' hair and I don't know what our next step is. Saturday we are going to look at 8 more houses and if we don't find anything interesting then I think it will be time to look for rental homes as bad as that sucks.

Want some good news, though? My husband is coming home in about an hour from his business trip. Yay! We've missed him.

Uncomfortable Grace

I'm pretty sure we lost the house. It sucks, it does, but that's not what I want to talk about today. My initial reaction is, of course, to feel a little sad and disappointed. When I got the news via text earlier today, I got out my iPhone to listen to a sermon. I needed something else to think about. I needed my quiet time with God. What I heard was an invaluable lesson and it is the sole reason I haven't completely flipped my lid in this new development.

Dr. Paul Tripp started out by saying that faith isn't natural to us. It is fear or worry we typically turn toward when times get rough. He gave the example found in the book of Matthew when Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him on a boat so they could cross the sea of Galilee. In the night, the disciples encountered a fierce storm. If the wheels are churning in your mind now you might know where I'm headed with this. Sometimes God puts us in less than desirable situations in order to produce in us a true faith in Him that we could never arrive at on our own. Dr. Tripp called this "uncomfortable grace." The potential loss of this house does not signify that my Heavenly father has forgotten me; He hasn't forsaken my family. On the contrary, we're being loved through this. He's developing me, moving in me. I truly don't want this house if it's not where God wants us. I do have faith that God is in control and He works for the good of those (me!) who love Him. This situation isn't ideal. It's uncomfortable. But God is working here.

Jesus could have calmed the waters without the big to-do of walking out to the boat. Instead, he walked on water, looping around so that all the disciples could see Him. They saw Him but did not recognize Jesus. The disciples believed it was a ghost and were very frightened. Jesus says, "Take heart- it is I. Do not be afraid." That storm was crucial for the disciples to see the glory of God. How many times would it take? They had heard Jesus speak and witnessed miracles at his hands. But there's a big difference between being amazed by God and truly walking in faith with Him.

I'm amazed by God a lot. When I walk in the woods, I see the beauty He threw together so perfectly. When I look in the smiling faces of my children, I'm amazed that He has chosen me to be their mama. I'm amazed by how much he loves me despite how despicable I can be. Have I trusted wholly in Him over the last few months? No, I haven't. I've questioned timing. I've questioned purpose. 

Maybe my storm today is devoloping my faith. Although it might feel like it sometimes, I'm not alone in this-

 the Great I AM is here with me. I shouldn't be afraid. I'm not. Not really. It'll work out, right? ;)

I'll keep you posted.

(Go download Mars Hill app. It's free and full of lots of sermons you can listen to on the go!)

Hiking the Cumberland Trail

The last few years, we've lived in very flat places: Louisiana, Florida. My biggest complaint was always how flat it was. I love the mountains. There's just something about climbing up to an overlook with fresh air in my lungs. I feel healthy. I feel alive. I feel nearer to my Creator. When we got the good news we were moving back to Tennessee, one of the million thoughts that floated through my head was- We'll get to go hiking in some elevation! What better way to spend our Labor Day weekend than getting our kids out and introducing them to the good ole hills of Tennessee.

We packed a picnic (and by packed I mean we stopped at Subway) lunch and headed over to the Cumberland Trail for a little hiketherapy. I just made that word up just now. I like it. Anyway, we ended up eating on Black Mountain. It was lovely; I had never been.

The trail was great for kids until the very top, of course. There were cracks in the rocks that had to be crossed and obviously a very tall ledge, but it was definitely manageable. I could even relax and have a little fun. Here's our attempt at a family photo:

We try.

All in all, it was a great day and it left us with an itch to get out in nature again soon.

That's exactly what we did two days later at Ozone Falls.

My sister and her husband joined us and thank God they did! J and I had forgotten how steep the "trail" is to get down to the falls. I forgot the wrap or hiking backpack for the babe so we carried him. It was a joint effort. Paige took him on the way down and I hauled him back up. Despite me nearly having a panic attack (afraid one of the kids might get hurt), we had a good time...until the car troubles. That's another blog post, though.

It's so great to be back!

Waiting, waiting

We've been home for a month now and I'm sure you're wondering how the process is going with the house. I'm wondering, too. We haven't heard anything since we got all the paperwork turned in. It's a waiting game. As a former military spouse, I've played this game before. It's not really my favorite. Still, we might as well make the best of it and so we lovingly tear off another ring on our paper chain every morning when we wake up. Closing is still set for late September.

I think September is going to go by fast, though. There's a lot going on. I mentioned my fitness goals for this month. Those will keep me busy! In related news, I signed up for a mud run with my husband, dad, step-mom, sister, and brother in law. I'm excited! I feel ill prepared, though. I haven't been running and working out as much as I hoped I would during this move.

We are also hoping to catch a football game this month. J has never experienced game day at Neyland Stadium! My brother was blessed with the opportunity to be a team manager this year. He's loving it! Saturday, he ran through the Power T with roughly 90,000 people cheering. His faced graced the tv several times as he was "working." I got a lot of texts- I saw Jake on TV! What an opportunity of a lifetime. I hope he soaks up every bit of it. Anyway, it would be nice to go watch him in action...and see the Vols play. I haven't been in about three years.

Anyway, there is A LOT going on here, but some things are slowing down, too. Baby A has finally started sleeping more. Praise the Lord!

It makes me appreciate slow moments on the porch like this one-

Over-n-out,

Welcome Home

I've had the urge to write a lot lately, but the time hasn't been there. We've been busy and in the moments that are slow, we've been trying to relax. Easier said than done. Baby A didn't go to sleep until 11:30 last night and the night before? He was up every.single.hour. We are so tired and feeling awful that we're keeping everyone in the house awake, too. I may or may not have been strolling around a whiny kid in the dark last night, barefoot, and holding back tears. Why does life feel so much harder when a baby won't sleep? Ha! Honestly, he has NEVER been like this. Even as a newborn and young babe, he slept more than this. It's quite an adjustment.

Good news, though...

I've got an appointment today to get my tubes tied.

Kidding.

The good news is that we have found a house we love and pending inspections going well today, it's ours! Isn't she a beauty?

We love it and can't wait to settle in. It will be awhile, though. You know what I'm talking about if you've ever worked with the VA before!

I hope we'll be happy there for a long time. I'm sure we will. We are used to making houses we don't love home and we really really like this one! We are looking forward to not mooching off our families anymore. Whether it's dog sitting, baby sitting, groceries, or moving help, we have exhausted our welcome here, I'm sure. We are very blessed by the wonderful friends and family who have helped us in our journey "home"!

I can't believe this kitchen will soon be part of our very own home...

I'm going to bake all kinds of goodies in there.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and show you a glimpse into our house since so many of you requested it on facebook and IG. More to come in the next few weeks.

Love,