A bunch of nothing

Sometimes one just needs to write. The idea of catharsis is one that has diminished in popularity among friends, but it's always gaining popularity in the counseling field. After all, what is counseling if it's not having someone who is paid to listen to you? Sure, there are helpful therapists out there, but what we, as human beings, really need is just someone to listen to us. Perhaps that's why I write so often. It's a type of catharsis for me, a release. So, as I sit here with a glass of wine and wide eyes, I wonder, did that just happen?

I won't go into details, but I'll let you know the ballpark I'm in: I don't understand why people feel the need to put others down in order to make themselves feel better. I've seen this on a much larger scale all over the news this week, but what I'm referring to are those little jabs, those small one -liners that cut right to your core. There are people in my life that can accomplish this with ease. When something in their life gets rough, their first step on their own personal road to recovery is to criticize mine. If you have to start a sentence with, "At least..." or some other mean spirited comparison phrase then I probably don't NEED to hear that. Jus' sayin.' The weird thing is- I don't really care enough to feel really bad about it. I mean, I know what this person said is far from truth and they probably don't really believe what was said either and it was just a way for them to release as well. I'm not mad or sad, just slightly irritated because this isn't the first time this person has graced me with their careless tongue. I just pray that I can search my heart and find forgiveness for them because it truly is a small, miniscule thing. The idea that keeps resounding in my head though is, why do I continue to entertain their insecurities? I'm not sure.

What else is going on with me? Well, aside from that minor annoyance earlier, I'm doing great. Jordan and I have a lot of exciting news. For starters, Captain J received his selection letter for a big bad army school (removed). Yeah, that's right...the big time. People keep asking me how I feel about this and I'm not sure I know how to respond. I mean, most people immediately say, "Oh, I'm sorry, Kace..." which tells me I truly don't know what I'm getting myself into! The role of an (removed) wife? Can I handle that? I know we'll make it work if that's where God wants Captain J to be. Above all worries and fears, I'm happy for him. I know this is what he wants career-wise so I support him. This summer will provide insight into what the next few years of our lives will look like so I'm excited to see what happens. Captain J will be sent off sometime this summer to go into the next phase of selection. Prayers are very much appreciated!

The most thrilling news, in my opinion, is the fact that I have in my possession two tickets to Hawaii for the month of June! Captain J and I are finally getting our honeymoon that we didn't get to have. It's going to be such a blessing to be able to visit somewhere warm, tropical, and gorgeous after having spent a winter in Alaska. We plan on finishing up our Scuba Diving Certification, fishing, and relaxing on the beach. 10 days of uninterrupted bliss...I cannot wait!

Many times people ask what's up with ME and I really don't have much of an answer for them. Sometimes it  feels as if my life is so closely intertwined with Captain J's that I don't have much of a life outside of him, but I know that's not true. So, to enlighten you on what's going on in my world, I will say that I'm pretty content in doing a whole bunch of nothing. Many of you have sent me encoraging emails, comments, messages, and phone calls telling me I should publish my writing. I don't know how serious I am to take you, but I have begun to write some of my thoughts down elsewhere (besides this blog). The trouble with writing or any other thing that one may be good at, it's often just something I do so I never think of it as anything exceptional. Whether what I say is interesting enough for people to want to read or not, I have started writing notes occasionally of what is laid upon my heart. Maybe it will never be a great piece of work, but I write anyway in the hope that my children and grandchildren will have a readily available glimpse into my life as a twenty something year old. That thought keeps me writing. Besides, I really enjoy it!

I've also been trying to whip my butt into shape, as you can see here. I don't know how much my body has changed, but I can truly feel the difference. I'm happier when I'm working out, releasing endorphins. Pretty soon I'm hoping to settle on a half marathon to do this summer. I'll be keeping my eyes peeled. Alaskans are hardcore so they often don't have the 13.1 mile race, it's all or nothing. There's no way I can finish a full marathon would want to run 26 miles at this point in my life so that simply won't be happening. I'd love to do another half marathon, though so that is definitely in the works for me. I'll keep you updated.

I'm going to peace out now because I fear I'm boring you with my game of catch up. Tell me, what's going on with YOU?