Uncomfortable Grace

I'm pretty sure we lost the house. It sucks, it does, but that's not what I want to talk about today. My initial reaction is, of course, to feel a little sad and disappointed. When I got the news via text earlier today, I got out my iPhone to listen to a sermon. I needed something else to think about. I needed my quiet time with God. What I heard was an invaluable lesson and it is the sole reason I haven't completely flipped my lid in this new development.

Dr. Paul Tripp started out by saying that faith isn't natural to us. It is fear or worry we typically turn toward when times get rough. He gave the example found in the book of Matthew when Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him on a boat so they could cross the sea of Galilee. In the night, the disciples encountered a fierce storm. If the wheels are churning in your mind now you might know where I'm headed with this. Sometimes God puts us in less than desirable situations in order to produce in us a true faith in Him that we could never arrive at on our own. Dr. Tripp called this "uncomfortable grace." The potential loss of this house does not signify that my Heavenly father has forgotten me; He hasn't forsaken my family. On the contrary, we're being loved through this. He's developing me, moving in me. I truly don't want this house if it's not where God wants us. I do have faith that God is in control and He works for the good of those (me!) who love Him. This situation isn't ideal. It's uncomfortable. But God is working here.

Jesus could have calmed the waters without the big to-do of walking out to the boat. Instead, he walked on water, looping around so that all the disciples could see Him. They saw Him but did not recognize Jesus. The disciples believed it was a ghost and were very frightened. Jesus says, "Take heart- it is I. Do not be afraid." That storm was crucial for the disciples to see the glory of God. How many times would it take? They had heard Jesus speak and witnessed miracles at his hands. But there's a big difference between being amazed by God and truly walking in faith with Him.

I'm amazed by God a lot. When I walk in the woods, I see the beauty He threw together so perfectly. When I look in the smiling faces of my children, I'm amazed that He has chosen me to be their mama. I'm amazed by how much he loves me despite how despicable I can be. Have I trusted wholly in Him over the last few months? No, I haven't. I've questioned timing. I've questioned purpose. 

Maybe my storm today is devoloping my faith. Although it might feel like it sometimes, I'm not alone in this-

 the Great I AM is here with me. I shouldn't be afraid. I'm not. Not really. It'll work out, right? ;)

I'll keep you posted.

(Go download Mars Hill app. It's free and full of lots of sermons you can listen to on the go!)