36 Week BumpDate

I'm 36 weeks pregnant- officially on my ninth month- and maybe that makes me a little emotional. There are no less than fifty billion things to do and I fear the stress gets to me from time to time. Aside from other unrelated-to-baby-stressors, my mind keeps floating back to labor and delivery. You would think I would be an old pro at this by now! But no two births are the same and if I'm being honest, I'm nervous again. With K, I was induced due to preeclampsia. The labor felt dreadfully long and painful until I got an epidural and was able to relax a bit. With Abel, I labored at home unsure if I was actually in labor until it was almost too late. He came so quickly there was no time for drugs or much worry even. I preferred the latter experience. It was amazing to experience what my body is capable of and to do it without the help of drugs or a doctor (no time to get there). I was blessed to have a studying midwife as my nurse when I got to the hospital and she was incredibly encouraging and knowledgeable about different positions to ease the pain. She truly made me feel like I could do anything! I was up and walking around shortly after birth, feeling amazing (considering).

I just don't want to have high expectations of that happening again. I know I should mentally prepare myself for a csection or an induction or a car delivery...basically just different avenues of lotsa pain. But I have this hope sparking inside that is telling me- it's going to be okay.

I went to the doctor today. I have gained, ahem five pounds since I last was there. I feel it, too. It was a slight cause for concern because you can see the gain in my hands and feet. Additionally, my blood pressure was slightly higher than it has been. We're going to keep an eye on this and my other pre-eclamptic symptoms, but at this point, I am told not to worry.

Baby is the size of: a large cantaloupe *I was told he weighs 6lb 4oz already!

Weight: 148 (+28 lbs total) I'm hoping this is water or some salt issue in my diet. Maybe I'll balance out in a day or two. The five pounds I mentioned earlier came on quickly! I regret tossing most of my maternity clothes after my last pregnancy and I regret not buying more this time around. Nothing fits. I look a hot mess most days.

Cravings: Ice chips. I could not stop crunching ice. It was awful. I googled it and it said that it was likely due to a lack of iron so I popped some prenatals and I do feel better. The craving has subsided for the most part.

Boy/Girl: Still a bouncing baby boy. Can't wait to meet him!

Stretch Marks: a few, yes. I think they'll go away, though. Here's to hoping!

Exercise: Nonexistent. I've gone for walks but not much more than that. My heart rate shoots up too high for any of my regular exercise routines or running. I miss feeling healthy and strong.

New Things: Abel is now recognizing that there's a baby in mama's belly. He'll lift up my shirt and (try to) sign "brother". Or if I sign brother to him, he will point at my belly. The kid is brilliant. I might be biased a bit. Kinley talks about Merit in a way that makes me excited for them to meet. He knows mama is having another baby and he actually seems happy about it. He often says, "Let's get him out!"

What I Miss: breathing normally, sushi, wine, my toned body

What I'm Looking Forward To: That moment when he is placed on my chest and nothing else in the whole entire world matters!

Were you nervous about your second, third, etc labor and deliveries, too? Is it just me being weird?