White Flag

It never fails. Every time he leaves, a host of things go wrong. He'd probably say this is because we depend on him for so much, but I just chalk it up to my incredibly bad luck. He's been gone for 24 hours. Here's what has happened in the last 24-

(Note: The following are bolded for emphasis.)

•  I discovered the rain totally fried our electric fence.


• A few hours later, the dogs discovered it, too.


• Drifter ran away.


• I rejoiced. (Ha! I'm only half serious).


•  I brought Holly inside, but I had to literally drag her- kicking and screaming because she did not want to cross the line. While I'm holding her, trying to show her it's okay- I also have Baby K on my hip because he refused to be put down without emitting Baby K screams.

*Enter a few moments of peace.

•  K starts freaking out, something he hadn't done all week. Consequently, Holly starts pacing and wondering what's wrong with her tiny human.


• I hear whining at the door. Drifter is back- great.


• I take the dogs outside. They stay on the porch- barking at every single movement outside. This makes it pretty difficult to get my whiny babe to sleep.

*Baby K did sleep all night once he finally drifted off to sleep!

• I awake to an unhappy little one and this continues the rest of the day.


• I run out of chocolate. Disaster.


• Battery on car is shot. Took her to Walmart and they told me they hadn't seen a car like that and would be unable to change the oil or replace the battery. Umm? Whatev.

Where's my white flag? I surrender.

(Image credit)

That is all.

When friends and family heard that I would be marrying a military man, many said to me, "How exciting!"

And you know what?

It really is sometimes.

We get to move every three years to a new place (or if you're us- we get to live in three different states in one calendar year). Think of all the travel opportunities! But I'm here to tell you the other side of the coin. And that is- the boredom.

Am I alone in this?

My other half is, well, my other half. He entertains me, provides companionship- He's my lobster (FRIENDS reference). So, when he's gone, I'm incredibly bored. It matters very little that I saved up many of my recorded shows on television for such occasions or that I have a host of great books to read. Sure, I have the baby to keep me occupied, but when he does something cute and there's no one here to share it with, I have to turn to Twitter, Facebook, or phone calls with friends. And really? No one cares like J would.

Sigh.

I just miss him.

And I'm bored.

#thatisall

TTC Kit Winner Announced!

I'm so happy to report that Random.org has found a winner for the ConceiveEasy Kit.



The 5th comment was -

After struggling for 3 years to get pregnant with Rylie including one loss along the way, I think I could write a book on all the tricks and treatmegnts I tried along with the emotional rollercoaster you can’t seem to stop. It’s nice to be able to read something that is real and not just a “we thought about it and I got pregnant “story. Thanks for sharing. Infertility can make you feel like you’re the only one because it’s a taboo subject. This kit sounds great and it comes at a perfect time since we are ready to start on baby #2:) It would be great to win, but I will probably try this kit regardless.

Congrats, Rachel Trundle! Message me on facebook or email me with which kit option you want (1,2, or 3) and your shipping address and we'll get it sent to ya.

Thanks for entering all! I wish you all could win.

Army, Family, Jobs- Oh my!

There are some strange things happening in our household. One is...well, I can't say just yet. I'm afraid I'll jinx it. But it's good. Oh-so-good. And it's a big part of the reason I'm able to sit down and talk with you this fine afternoon.

The other?

Well, we've finally made a decision. This decision is a long time comin'. It has been weighing on our hearts and minds for too long. When I last wrote about this decision, we were leaning toward the opposite direction.

Have you had enough vague hint dropping?

Captain J is getting out of the Army. There, I said it. It doesn't make it any less real. But that's the very reason I haven't told you all yet because it seems like if I say it out loud then something will come up, causing it to not be the case anymore. Does that make sense? I know, it's silly.

We've weighed the pros and cons, our options, everything. It took us months to reach this decision and now that we have a peace has settled on our household despite our futures being up in the air. I know it may sound absurd to you to get out of a decent paying job that has plenty of job security with the civilian job market the way it is right now, but it's what we're doing.

Living on love. Living on faith. That's what we're going to do.

Of course we're not totally jumping in the civilian world and hoping for the best. J has already been perusing jobs across the country, trying to find one that will support his growing family. It is our hope that he will find a job that he enjoys, has room to advance in, and makes enough money so that I can continue to stay home with our child(ren). The deciding factor, afterall, was Baby K. Captain J just couldn't bear to leave him for a deployment or tour in the Middle East. When it was just me, it wasn't ideal for him to be gone but it was do-able. Now, he can't fathom not seeing his son for a whole year. Who can blame him really? That would break my heart, too. I don't know how military families do it.

And to be honest...

I never pictured myself having to be the one who stays home.

When I met Captain J, he had plans of getting out of the Army. Then, he changed his mind and suddenly I was an Army wife till death do us part. I was okay with it, slowly learning the ropes and accepting that my husband was going to be gone a lot over the course of his career. But accepting and dealing are two very different roads, aren't they?

Our deciding factor was family. I've always been big on the importance of family. The family unit can be one of the best and strongest relationships that you'll ever have in life. It's the basis for everything, in my opinion. Families make up our little towns- that make up larger counties (or parishes for you Louisiana folks!)-that make up the entire nation. But I digress, that is a different post for a different time. The point is: Family is important to us and that means we want to be around our families in Tennessee. More importantly, though- we want to be together- the three of us- without worrying when he'll be deployed again.

We don't have our hearts set on relocating to Tennessee because obviously we have to go where the jobs are, but we do hope to end up in the south some place a little closer to home.

Who knows? Maybe we won't be able to find that either. But we will be alright. God says that he'll never leave us (Hebrews 13:5) and that's comfort enough for me!

You may be wondering when these changes will take effect. Well, it's going to be awhile. Captain J will finish up his duty next February so that means we've got just over a year left to iron out the details. I'm excited and nervous. But I'm holding on to the scripture from Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

For now, I just need to breathe. If there's anything that the Army has taught me, it's that I can function without a set plan. I have learned to roll with the punches and that's what we're going to have to do again. Wish us luck! Send up some prayers! We're going to need them on our next journey back into the civilian world.

Love,

Mrs. K

A change will do you good

I don't do resolutions. Seriously. I think of things that I can improve about myself and then I snicker and throw the idea in the proverbial trash and toss a match in it for good measure. I'm terrible. There were many goals that I toyed with, but ultimately I never really set my mind toward any particular goal. I much prefer the mentality of 'one day at a time' and that seems to work alright for me.

One thing that I definitely need and want to work on is my marriage. A facet of this is making sure I look my best for my husband. It may sound backward to you or desperate.  It may sound superficial, but I want to look good for Captain J. Of course, he tells me how attracted to me he is all the time, but since Baby K arrived, I've felt pretty blah. I am good to get through the day, much less work out or look nice when he arrives home from work. Forget dinner on the table. This area of my life has been sorely lacking. He doesn't ask me for any of these things, but it's just something that I know I need to change for him AND for me.

I actually got dressed today. Usually you can find me lounging around the house in sweatpants and a tee. I may or may not have spit up running down my shoulder. I may or may not have brushed my hair. It's bad, folks. But today, I found time to semi-fix my hair and put on clothes I wouldn't be ashamed of in front of the general population. Today, I feel like a person.



When the UPS guy dropped off a package earlier, I actually ran to the door instead of hiding under the couch in fear of being discovered as the hot mess I am was.

He didn't acknowledge me as he hopped in his truck and drove off, but me? I knew it was a big step. I can't live in pajamas forever. I so desperately wanted to be that girl who pops out her child, instantly becomes supermom, and still keeps being fabulous. I'm afraid that's going to take some time for me.

BUT...

These past few days have felt a little more bearable. K has been oddly content. *knock on wood* There has been less screaming, less puking, and less stress. I have had time in my day. It has been a welcomed change. It gives me hope that I can focus on my interests again. I can work on writing something other than brain unload. Maybe I can get dressed more often. Maybe I can actually workout again. Perhaps Captain J can come home to a clean house AND a hot wife! Oh, the possibilities.

This is just one of the changes I'd like to make in 2012.

Is it superficial? Perhaps. But I need to feel like myself again.

P.S. Who sang the title of this post in your best Sheryl Crow voice? No one? Ok, me either.

5 Months

Dear Baby K,

Today you are five months young. Every day is so hard but remarkably fulfilling and sweet with you in my life. I always want to do right by you and it's my prayer every night that I do. You deserve the best mom in the world. You are absolutely perfect. I love you. Have I said that lately?



New things this month? Well, you're eating rice cereal from a spoon and bowl like a champ! You're also fitting into 6-9 month clothing already. Every time I put one of these outfits on you my heart has the odd, constricting feeling like you're growing up too fast. It frightens me. I know your dad gets the bad rap of being the one who doesn't want to leave you with other people, but secretely I have this issue, too. When your dad talks about what all you might do in life and mentions traveling the world, I make a mental note of setting up a separate bank account so that I can afford all these travels, too. Of course I'll be going everywhere with you until you're an old married man and then I suppose I'll let your wife take care of you. Maybe.

Let's not talk about that yet, though. I mean, you must learn to roll over first. You used to try to roll over, but you don't do it much anymore. It was suggested to me the other day that I hold you too much. Oh well, get used to it, kid. When you get to your side, you seem content with that. I think if you toppled over by yourself that it would make you quite mad anyway. You roll over when you're good and ready, ok?

I don't like to brag on you because you always seem to make a liar out of me, but I will say that your intense screaming fits are fewer in number and less furious. Maybe you're growing out of this thing called colic? Or maybe you're just as tired of your screaming as I am? Either way, I just want it to be known that I encourage this advancement.



I found your ticklish spot and it's right under your tiny little armpits. Oh, gosh. I just love how you laugh out loud when I tickle you on your changing table. That right there makes being a mom worth every single struggle. Your laugh is music to my ears. Your dad is good at making you laugh, too. He makes silly sounds and faces and you find him quite funny. We have that in common, Baby K.

You like to stand up (with assistance) and we practice this a lot.

You know what else you're starting to like a lot? Bath time. Finally.

Love you forever,

Mama

A Review: Lies of Mercy-Lies of Grace

One of my resolutions (every year) is to read more. I love to read, but when given the opportunity, I usually sit down at the computer instead. I don't know why. Anyway, I've read three almost four books already this year! Some I've been enjoying on my new Kindle Fire and some I've been reading the old fashioned way ;)

Regardless how these stories are presented to me, I'm enjoying each one for different reasons.

I finished Lies of Mercy-Lies of Grace recently and wanted to provide you with a short review in case you wanted to check it out. Carol Jo Pettit, the author, grew up in South Florida during the Pre-Castro days of the 1950's. The book tells the tales of a Pennsylvania Dutch girl growing up in Miami. I thought the book was delightfully funny. Her words are crafted in a way that just makes you smile. The stories she tells from the point of view of young Mercy Grace Malone have a childlike innocence to them that makes even the smallest events seem humorous. The characters are quite quirky, too. That alone always makes me want to read more so that I can try to get a ballpark idea of who that person is. Mercy describes herself by saying, "I'm half Irish and half Pennsylvania Dutch, which, of course, is really just German." The two unlikely paths her parents forged created an interesting home life for Mercy and her two siblings. The book gives glimpses of what Florida was like back in the day through the eyes of a child. I laughed as Mercy struggled to win a spelling bee because of the accents of her parents. I pondered on the story behind her mysterious Uncle John. I related to the weird neighbor, Bob, as he confused every day people with celebrities.

The book is cute, funny, and well-written.

As a new mom, I appreciated the short chapters that read like short stories so I could pick up and leave off every few minutes since Baby K keeps me so busy! The short stories are perfectly blended into a story that I fell in love with! Here's the information printed on the back of the book so that you can see if it is something you'd like to check out:

"Follow Mercy Grace Malone as she attempts to reconcile her conservative home life with the tropical paradise of South Florida in the 1950's. And meet Mercy's memorable friends and relatives who help teach her that "most of the time, only the truth matters, but sometimes it's more important to spare someone from hurt, or to offer hope and support." In other words-sometimes we need to tell "Lies of Mercy and Lies of Grace."

You can reach the author and order a copy by clicking here. She'll sign it for ya, too! The book can also be found on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble.



A portion of her proceeds go to cleaning and maintaining Gulf Coast Beaches!

I would definitely recommend this book to a friend (that's you)!

(Note: I received this book free of charge in exchange for a review. The above content is my own opinion and I was in no way pressured to present a good review.)