The Ups and Downs of Getting Fit

There have been so many of you who have told me I've inspired you to start being more active and to get fit. That makes me feel so good to hear that each of you are starting your own journey toward a healthier lifestyle because of some workout or photo or status or post I've thrown up on Instagram and other social media outlets. That's why I post so much. I want to inspire. I want to motivate you, but more importantly, I want to motivate and hold myself accountable.

I've been doing a poor job of this recently. Ever since our trips to Tennessee and Vermont and my recent bout with sickness, my routine got all out of whack and my eating choices spiraled down, down, down. Before I knew it, I went from 113 lbs and seeing ab definition-

to 123lbs. 

I gained ten pounds in just over a month, people. I know some of you believe that I am naturally "skinny" despite me writing and saying otherwise, but now you know. It's true- I have to work hard for the body I want--most of us do.

I'm trying not to focus on the scale. I really am. But when I stepped on that scale and saw the number, it was my reality check. I just needed to take a deep breath and remember how I lost the weight in the first place.

1. Clean eating

2. Training hard

3. Dedication

It was that simple. It's going to be that simple again, dang it. I can do this.

My plan for this week is to exercise at least four days and clean up my diet. I started on Friday after a brief but detrimental cookie binge. I'm feeling good now, though. My body is already responding and I'm not feeling sluggish and tired anymore.

I know the number doesn't matter. What does matter is my attitude. I don't want to cringe when I see a camera at the beach. I want to be proud again. I want to feel healthy and strong. I want to know that my body is capable of doing X, Y, and Z. I don't think anyone has really noticed the difference in my body except me.

I see the extra pounds in my arms and middle. I'm going to focus on these areas. The last half of July is going to be different. Let's do this!

Who's with me?

(P.S. You can now access all of my fitness journey posts by clicking on the "#mrskgetsfit" page at the top of my blog. As always, you can also find updates on my Instagram page, too. )

Linked up here:

Better With Age

This morning I wrote a long post about something I feel so strongly about but I couldn't post it. It centered around my poor body image and how I've felt recently that all the progress I've made in changing my body for the past seven months has all been for naught. Instead of dwelling on those issues, I aimed to make a mental list of the things I am proud of instead.

When I look at this photo, I see a man who loves me unconditionally. I see my best friend who thinks I get better with age. I see the guy who loved me even when the extra pounds were lingering. Those qualities are good qualities. I wish I could set my mind on the verse I found today that says:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles or the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:3-4 NIV

I want to focus my heart on the things that matter. I don't want to constantly pick apart what I don't like about myself.

On my journey to becoming more fit and in-shape, I know there will be blips along the way. I'm smack dab in the middle of one right now. I'm struggling- mind and body. But then I see the picture I posted above and am reminded that I didn't use photoshop to feel good about myself. Sure, perhaps this is just a flattering angle. Lord knows there were other photos from that day that made me want to throw away all the bathing suits I have and never buy another. This photo isn't just a trick of the camera, though. There's progress there. I have to see that. I also have to see this man in front of me, my husband, who thinks I'm great inside and out.

Fitness Recap

It's time to weigh in again with the Biggest Loser Blogger Crew:

Starting Weight: 132
Current Weight: 132

Pshh. Whatever.

The week started off a little slow. I was feeling sickly and uninventive with my workout flow. I decided I would try Bob's Card Workout on Tuesday. It wasn't as tough as I suspected, but it was still better than nothing. The push ups got me the most, but gosh darn it if I am not feelin' good about the way my arms look lately. I'm so surprised. Typically I think my arms are massive and gross. I digress.

Wednesday I promised some of my Facebook Fans that I would add on extra squats to the end of my workout for every "like" I got on that status. That was fun! The end result was an extra 40 squats after a pretty good bike ride.

Saturday I broke out my trusty ole Pinterest board and went to work doing several different exercises. Here are a few:

Source: sweatsalty.tumblr.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

Source: weightloss.allwomenstalk.com via Mrs. on Pinterest

Muscle weighs more than fat. That's my mantra this week! ;) Ha.
How are your exercise goals progressing?

Fat Day (Alternatively Titled- "Ugh")

Let's talk about why I've had the dreaded "fat day" for two days in a row now. I can't put my finger on it. It makes no sense to me how I can look in the mirror one day and feel good about my progress and then the very next day, I'm thinking I look ten pounds heavier than the day before. Losing weight, toning up, and body image is a mind game for me. I wish I wasn't so hard on myself. I think it started with a trip to the fitting rooms at Marshall's the other day. Why is it that the only shirt I can find these days are those cute, tiny, thin tanks that are shorter in the front and longer in the back? They are not flattering on a breastfeeding gal, lemme tell ya.

Once I'm at the point where I think I'm fat, I give up for the day. After I got home from shopping yesterday, I went to town on guzzling down hot chocolate and marshmallows....and then later- bread! Ugh. Today is another fat day and I can't explain it. I didn't get to have my morning workout because the toddler woke up early and the baby was super fussy this morning. I think my attitude spiraled down from there. Out of boredom, I drove my flabby self to Taco Bell of all places. Ugh. Now the toddler is asleep, but the baby isn't. I don't know when I'll get to work off all the garbage I put in my body today.

The good news is- it's Biggest Loser night. That show is always inspiring. If I'm watching it in real time, I like to create workouts for the commercial breaks.

Speaking of Biggest Loser, I stumbled across this link-up today and wanted to play along...

 

It's Week 3 for them so I'm a little late, but I reckon that's okay. I'm off to weigh myself...

Starting weight: 132

I even took my shoes off, y'all. Ugh.

Anyway, the best workout I had this week was when I took this little cutie down and up the massive hill of a driveway here. 

Whew! I wore weights and pushed him in his stroller. I thought I might not make it. That's usually a sign of a good exercise routine, right? Afterwards, I strapped him on my hip for an additional burn as I finished up chores around the house.

How do you deal with a fat day?

This Is Special

I'll tell you something, but you can't hate me, okay? I don't think pregnancy is beautiful. I never have. Of course, it's a wonderful miracle from above and the end result is a perfect little gift from heaven. There's no denying that. It's just that I've never been one to think the pregnant body is attractive. Perhaps it's because I don't get that lovely glow that people talk about. I get sweaty and out of breath instead. Maybe it's because I'm so self conscious about my body normally and when it starts stretching and expanding, all I can think about is how fat I'm getting. I must sound so selfish and vain to you, but this is something I struggle with. I pin maternity photo ideas in an effort to celebrate this time in my life, but when I try to recreate the images in pictures, I feel gross. My face must have gained 10 lbs itself! And Oh my gosh, look at those chubby fingers. The thoughts are endless.

Still, I document because I know how blessed I am. God has given me the gift and pleasure of being able to carry my children and I'm so very, very grateful. When the creeping thoughts flood in, I tell my husband to come and take a photograph. Remind me of this life growing inside me. This is special. I know it.

Body Image

Much has happened over the last few weeks that I have kept from you...inadvertantly, of course. I haven't had much time to write and I've missed it very much. It keeps me sane. Yes, I'm insinuating that I'm going mad. I meant to. Maybe I am.

Motherhood is lovely. Surreal. I still can't believe that I'm in charge of this tiny, beautiful baby boy. Sometimes when I'm staring at him, watching his every facial expression change, I think to myself how I barely knew what love was until he came into our lives. My definition seems to have changed and altered my whole world!

The remnants of my pregnancy are leaving me feeling a different way, though. That's what I want to talk about today--body image.

Mine sucks. It always has, really. I don't know where this comes from. I just know that I'm rarely happy with the way I look. In fifth grade, I began to notice that when I sat down in a chair, the fat (or skin) on my legs would flail out so I started sitting down with just my tippy toes touching the ground. That way, no one would know how huge I really was. This is absolutely ridiculous, especially because I was a really skinny kid.

In 7th and 8th grade, I dreaded changing in the locker rooms for my basketball games and then later changing again into my cheerleading uniform for the guys game. I would change in the shower most times because I didn't want anyone to see my love handles that were actually nonexistent. I was probably 85 lbs soaking wet.

These self-conscious feelings never left me and when I arrived in college, much of my research began to be focused around body image. I worked at a gym and tried to stay in shape, but for the most part, I was rarely happy with what I saw in the mirror. After meeting Captain J, I cut myself some slack, I think. He made me feel good about myself and in turn, I wanted to be healthy, to look healthy for him.

I knew getting pregnant would disrupt that. I knew I would stress about gaining too much weight, stretch marks, not being able to workout, et cetera. I felt pretty good during the last nine months, though. It wasn't until after I had Baby K and looked down to still see a woman who appeared to be about 5 or 6 months preggo that I began to worry again.

My stomach goes down a little every day. And I didn't expect to be a size four again over night.

But, it's just...

I'm frustrated! I'm frustrated mostly because I actually was feeling pretty good about myself until I went to the hospital the other day. Two people asked me when I was due. Seriously? Context clues people...I was carrying a diaper bag!

I ended up gaining 31 lbs. I've already lost 19 last I checked. It's nice to see the number going down again. But I still feel pretty gross in all my old clothes and the end isn't really in sight. My doctor has put me on bed rest- as in don't get out of bed, don't have visitors, and don't you dare exercise orders. I was hoping to at least be able to take walks again. Releasing endorphins is another thing that keeps me sane.

But I can't do any of that. I feel trapped in this bed.

All I want is to be able to feel good about myself again, but that seems so far away because I'm forbidden to work out. I know this all may seem very petty, shallow even to you. It's how I'm feeling, though. I'm just so thankful that I have the sweetest, most beautiful baby I've ever laid eyes on to show for it.

He makes it all worth it.

And somehow I escaped pregnancy number one with no stretch marks. Miracle! I do love that cocoa butter.

Anyway, I'm just writing this down to vent. I know there's someone out there reading who deals with similar issues. I could place blame on the media, but I won't. I'll take responsibility for my false beliefs about my body and do something to try to change them. The last thing I want to do is teach my child(ren) poor body image.

Think yourself thin?

I come to you today with a brownie in hand to enlighten you on my perspective of America's overweight/obesity epidemic. (Yes, the brownie is all part of my plan.) I kid you not, all of the following scenarios have happened to me today and I've only been awake for about five hours-

1. On an online forum I participate in, one witty, intelligent, sweet young lady posted a thread called something like 'show me your tummys!'


2. I am in the habit of reading Psychology Today pretty religiously and I woke up to this topic this morning.


3. I'm currently tuned into Project Runway that is known for tall, slender, gorgeous models working with fashion designers.


4. I thought about all the media I've been bombarded with in regards to body image in just the last few hours so I go to the kitchen, pour a glass of milk, and grab a brownie to satisfy me while I step up on a bloggy soapbox.

What? I do have a reason for this brownie!

Do you see the problem here? America has become obsessed with all things diet, exercise, and healthy living but the problem is we don't actually follow through with all of it. We research it, decide 'that would totally work', and then we go get a brownie while we "plan" on changing our behaviors.

See, I'm only eating to prove a point ;)

Additionally, I realized I was very much a part of this thinking problem when I became annoyed that the Olympics meant that I couldn't watch Biggest Loser. What do ya mean- I should be excited about the Olympics?! hehe What does that say about our country that I would rather watch people try to lose weight than tune into see the world's greatest athletes?  Gah, I'm terrible.

Anyway...

Unfortunately, we can't think ourselves to thinness or health. We CAN, however, think our way to happiness. My mother has told me that my entire life and I'm pretty sure she's on to something! I think the two should be able to entertwine. Lord knows, I'm no advocate for healthy living, but I do know how to make myself happy.

Example number one-



But I also value feeling good about myself physically so when I start to not like what's staring back at me in the mirror, I try to do something about it. I think it's about that time again. Don't get me wrong, I've embraced my body but I would love to have that "in-shape" feeling again. You know what I'm talking about- I want to feel like I could take on anything, that I'm prepared for a summer in Alaska with my Army Ranger. I can barely keep up right now.

So here's my pledge. It's P90x time again! I'm going to Walmart this weekend, buying a video cable, and then I'm tackling that program again. The brownies are gone so there's no excuse now. Who is with me?