I wasn't the mother I want to be today. I haven't been in weeks. I yell. I get frustrated. I react badly. I can't tell you how many times recently I have thought to myself, "WHY is he so bad?" Typing that out just now breaks my heart because there's nothing bad about my child. He is so sweet. His behavior sometimes is what could use some work and that's a reflection on ME. As soon as the thought crosses my brain, I quickly pray it away. This child is good and I'm the one failing him. It scares me so much.
If you really know me, you know that when my best friend called me two days ago she couldn't understand a word I was saying because I was crying so hard. Both babies had been screaming and a host of other things had occurred and I was completely spent. That's what this transition has been like for me.
I am not supermom. Half the time, I don't even feel worthy of being their mom.
9 comments:
Praying for you sweet friend! You are a wonderful Mom, hugs!!!
I have been feeling the same way with my 2 year old but today, I stopped and thought "why am I acting so terribly towards him? He's 2." And I took time to breathe and he had a better attitude today. I don't think it makes you a bad mom. :)
Praying for you!!
Keep at it. Being a mom is so stressful and frustrating. I don't know ANY mom who hasn't yelled, been frustrated, been down on herself, or felt deep regret for a bad day (or week...). I really feel like parenting requires a great deal of flexibility -- you can find something that works well, but then the kids change and grow and you have to think fast to come up with something new. We recently started using tickling as a way to break our son's tantrums. When he gets in trouble, he'll break down and scream - no amount of talking to him, holding him, yelling at him, whatever could get him to stop screaming long enough for him to hear us out... so now we tickle and it not only relaxes him, but it relaxes us, too. It is amazing how this has helped. Get creative with your parenting, and remember that each day is a new opportunity to make things right, try something new, and be better. Prayers and hugs!!! And thanks for the honesty -- I wish more moms would be open and forthright about their struggles and their bad days, so that we didn't all feel like complete and utter failures when we go through it ourselves.
Saying a pray for you! What you're doing is difficult...it's actually more than a lot of moms will ever be asked to do. (just like being a military wife goes above and beyond...)
I get so frustrated at school...and then feel bad later. I imagine your frustration and bad feelings are like that times 10.
Hang in there. We're all perfectly flawed individuals, and being a mom is a tough gig.
((HUGS)) I go through the same thing. In fact, two nights ago I was not the Mom I wanted to be and after the kids went to bed I cried and cried at how awful I felt. Some days we do nothing because I'm so exhausted and I beat myself up for it. Being a Mom isn't easy and take away our partners and it's even harder!
Juggling two kids and a serious life transition is huge. You have the right to get frustrated and and you will still be a good mom. I often count down the minutes til naptime so I can regroup!
I am sure you are doing amazing, but I also feel the same way so often. You're not alone.
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