lil fetus

I wanted to elaborate on yesterday's post about Baby now that I've had time to have it all soak in...

I've mentioned before that I'm terrified of going to the doctor. As a slight hypochondriac and avid pessimist, my thoughts begin to wonder off to all those things that could be wrong and before the doctor even steps in the room, I think I'm dying of some sort of rare disease. It's a problem, I know.

I know because as of now, I'm expected to go to the doctor every single month. EEK!

It's bittersweet, though because while I'm terrified of what news I'll be given, I'm also thrilled to see our baby again.

Yesterday, I had to have the dreaded annual exam before we got to all the fun stuff. I'm praying that all is well with those results, but as you probably know, I won't have those for awhile. I finally calmed down a little (after feeling very violated) and was able to focus on seeing my sweet little fetus.

They couldn't find the heartbeat. I think MY heart stopped beating with the quiet in the room. In fact, they could barely detect my heartbeat on the machine they were using so they moved on to a different one.

With the ultrasound, we could see the little heartbeat and it all felt real at that moment. I couldn't sit up to look because I knew the tears would flow. I was so happy. J was, too. His face inched closer to the screen with a smile a mile wide. Our baby was all over the place! He/She was flipping around and trying to avoid being poked with that cold machine. So active already!

I feel good about my doctor. It's a guy, which I wasn't thrilled with, but he seems knowledgeable, helpful, and really nice. I feel comfortable with him. I hope I get to stay with him because that will mean that I have a normal pregnancy! We'll see!

It's odd. Now, I cannot wait until March 1 to go back to the doctor. I just want to see him/her again and possibly find out the sex.

Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers! I appreciate it so much.