What's Up With Us Wednesday

It's four o'clock pm and the second cup of coffee I'm sipping on is finally making me feel like a person again. Who knew motherhood was so tiring? Oh, wait...everyone and their sister knows that. Well, I'm really feeling it this week. It is days like these that I wish we were living a little closer to home. It sure would be nice to be able to take K Baby to the grandparents! ;) If I had that option, I would do things like laundry and school work or perhaps I'd just sleep (I would never waste that opportunity by blogging).

I shouldn't complain. Little man only woke up once last night to eat! It didn't matter much, though because I still woke up wondering why he wasn't waking up. Ha! Oh, the joys of motherhood.

I had to take him to the doctor today because he has some eye goop. Apparently, it's not a big deal and with the help of some gel, he'll be good to go in no time. If only I could figure out how to get it in his eye. I wish I could say this is the last of our hospital visits for awhile, but I have to return tomorrow. We should probably just rent out a room in the basement as much as we're there.

Anyway, we started cloth diapering yesterday thanks to a pal I met here in Louisiana. She let me borrow the diapers she made for her daughter to see if we like doing it and if it's something that will work for us. Yeah..you read that right...she made them. I was impressed, too. Domestic goddess. :) Her first time sewing...EVER...and she made diapers. Brave woman. We like it so far.

I got a little love from Alaska yesterday when I checked the mail and found this waiting for us:

A bib for Baby K from a bloggy pal- Thanks, lady! My blog has allowed me contact with people all over the country and I'm happy to call you all friends. It means a lot that you all keep up with us which is why I'm writing to you right now, instead of writing a case study for class. It's called priorities people...I got em!

And just for cuteness sake-

Now, I must run. Other priorities are calling my name (Read: my husband wants Ramen Noodles). I'll be back before too long...hopefully with more interesting content. It's just that my brain is barely functioning right now. Forgive me?

Monday Goals

Top of the mornin' to ya! I'm enjoying a cup of coffee next to my main man while watching Lifetime Movie Network. It doesn't get much better than that on a Monday morning.

His and Hers :)

Last night was nice. Baby K was such a good little boy. Content as could be and woke up every three hours to feed. It was a welcomed reprieve from the past few days. As you may have noticed, we have introduced bottles and pacis now. The lactation specialist said that pacifiers were okay after at least two weeks so we waited to give him one. He likes it, but has a hard time keeping it in his mouth. Last night, the paci was invaluable!

I'll admit that we probably introduced bottles too soon, but it has been wonderful. The TommeeTippee ones are great and little man switches back and forth between bottle to breast seamlessly. It's convenient to have the option, especially when I was back and forth between the hospital and my house for the blood pressure issues. I have an appointment later this week as a follow up to check my blood pressure. Let's hope he approves me to start working out!

Speaking of exercise, I found the greatest app. Now, I know I'm way behind in the game and everyone probably already knows about it, but for you cave dwellers like me, I present to you:

My Fitness Pal

It's great. It allows you to enter your calorie intake, but you don't have to worry about trying to figure out if you're entering the right information. All you have to do is type in what you ate/drank and brands of food pop up along with their calories for easy selection. It can also track your exercise, too. I haven't figured out all the neat perks yet because I just downloaded it, but I love it so far!

I'm ready for a routine here in LA. For the past few months, I've laid around doing very little. Now that I'm gaining my energy back, I'm ready for a little productivity. I'd like to start couponing again. I'm ready to get back on a weekly cleaning schedule, exercise schedule, menu schedule and school work schedule. Lately, I've been doing the bare minimum to get by in my classes and thankfully it has been working for me. I got to keep my GPA after all! I do want to put more effort into my education, though. I'd like to start writing again and do a little freelance work. I'm also ready to get out and make some friends here!

Last week, I went on post to meet with the ladies of PWOC (Protestant Women of the Chapel). I plan on attending a weekly class there with a new friend I met. It's called Experiencing God and I can't wait to see what's in store there. I miss sharing my devotions with you on my other blog so I might start posting there more often, too.

That's a lot of goals for a Monday morning. Just reading them makes me think I might need another cup of coffee or maybe a nap. ;) Have a great week y'all!

(* Note: I was not contacted to review or compensated for mentioning the bottles. This is my opinion and I wanted to share with you!)

 

 

 

 

growing on me

There are some days when I think that we miraculously have the most well-behaved, happy baby in the world. There are others when I feel so helpless because I can't get him to sleep or he is screaming and I can't figure out why. It breaks my heart to feel like I can't help him. The last twenty four hours have been like that. He actually slept great after he finally went down for the count, but the hours between 10pm-1am were dreadful. He couldn't be consoled. Now, he's been awake all morning which is fine since he isn't complaining too much. I just worry about him. All the books I've read said that the parent is to teach the child how to sleep and I don't think I'm doing a very good job of that. Perhaps he is just getting older and experiencing more awake time. Let's be honest...I don't know. I've never done this before.

Anyway, we have had some pleasant moments over the last few days.

Friday I got the notion that Baby K needed a mobile and by golly I was going to create one for him. Ft. Polk is devoid of craft stores (insane!) so I was left to use whatever I had around the house. I had dreams of beautiful, perfect mobiles as I perused Pinterest, but my little rinkity ole mobile just didn't measure up. It's not terribly unfortunate looking, though so I hung it up anyway. Besides, it's growing on me.

That's not the only thing growing on me! Just take a look at this little scholar:

Reading already! Sorta. We have added this activity to his nightly bedtime routine. Ignore the blurriness. A certain Captain J still hasn't taught me how to use his fancy camera. Back to Baby K...He had his two week appointment last week and he has already gained over a pound. Mama was so proud! I had to limit myself from updating facebook to let the world know because I'm pretty sure no one cares, but his Mom and Dad were definitely impressed with the way he's thriving :)

Now if you'll excuse me, I must do some house work. I folded a blanket earlier and three dust bunnies flew. Eek!

not pretty

I had tons I wanted to blog about today, but it just didn't happen...and it's not going to (today anyway).

This is what Saturdays look like at our house right now:



( Not pretty ).

Little man kept me awake every two hours last night. I didn't really mind because at least he wasn't screaming...he just wanted to eat.



It made for a long, early morning, though...which is why I look like this-



 

 

( Not pretty ).

It might also be because my husband decided to fix my hair for me.

Either way, I think I'll come back to this lil ole blog of mine at a later date. I'm exhausted!

Love,

Mama K

Miss Spelling

Today, the girls are talking about that one word that we just can't seem to spell correctly. I used to be such a good little speller. I was so proud to bring home my spelling list and effortlessly let the letters roll off my tongue as I aced every single word. I was a spelling rock star, you could say.

When the spelling bee rolled around, I was confident. "I could TOTALLY win this thing", I thought to myself. I spelled a few words correctly and patiently waited in line to receive (i before e except after c!) my next word. As I stepped up to the microphone, the awaited word rang through my ears. It made me nervous because I just wasn't completely sure of myself and this particular spelling. Now before you ask, I can't recall what that word was. What I do recall is sputtering out unintelligible, wrong letters and being asked to leave the stage after hearing, "Good try, but..."

My ever-lovin', spelling machine heart was crushed. I did a side step back to the microphone and hopefully told the administrators what I had meant to say and spelled the word correctly. Unfortunately for me, they told me it was too late.

Despair.

I suppose this marked the end of my spelling career, thus making me disregard many spelling rules forever. I no longer cared if I could spell the longest word known to man, nor did I care about those silly little words like "a lot". Okay, I take it back. I do care about "a lot"...it's two words, not one, ya know.

Anyway, try as I might, I can't care about spelling anymore. It's just not in me. Most times I don't even use spell check before I hit publish on this blog. But sometimes, when I'm using the word judgment...I feel the need to double check.

Why, oh why is there not an "e" after the "g". In my heart of hearts, I am passionate about this. It doesn't make sense.

And that darn word trips me up every time.

What word do you have trouble with?

In the Army Now

I guess it's a high time I talked about this. Time to bring it all out into the open. Time to let you know what has been on my mind besides babies and books.

I should preface this by saying that my husband's job with the Army was never a long-term, definite thing. I entered in to my relationship with him under the assumption that he would not be staying in any armed forces until retirement. We weren't "lifers", as the military community often refers to it.

Captain J did his duty, deployed to Iraq once back in 2008-2009 and made the decision that once was enough for him. Together, we decided that when the rest of his commitment was up (about 15 months from now), we would happily make our way back to Tennessee or some neighboring Southern state and start new jobs and add to our family.

To be fair, J has always had big dreams that change pretty frequently. I knew this about him. During deployment, we read this blog and fantasized about buying a sailboat and cruising around the Caribbean for a year or two before finally growing up, getting jobs, and starting a family. After he got back from Iraq, our desires seemed to shift. We knew we wanted a child so we started thinking that our boating/vagabond plans could wait until we retired. We then started imagining ourselves somewhere in a small town with lots of land, a small hobby farm, and a couple of kids running around. It has only been until very recently that these daydreams have started changing yet again.

Captain J came home from work one day and caught me completely by surprise saying, "How would you feel if I didn't get out of the Army?"

Umm, excuse me? Had I just heard him correctly? ALL of our plans, varied as they may be, had one thing in common and that was freedom. No more looming deployments or time out in the field. No more being owned by the U.S. Army. I thought he was more than ready to be a civilian again. Heck, talk to him long enough about growing a beard and you could probably convince him to get out in a heartbeat!

I answered his question truthfully: " I don't know."

I really don't know. Here's what I do know-

I know I want J to be happy. I don't think he will be happy in a job around our home town. He feels led to do something different, but he isn't sure the transition from Infantry Officer to civilian desk job would fulfill him at all. The pay cut we would experience would definitely be a bummer, too. I would likely have to go back to work immediately as opposed to enjoying my time with Baby K before he enters kindergarten (Yuck! He can't grow up!). And we come to my only reservation about staying in...

Baby K.

I want him to know his family. Both of our parents live in the same area, the area that is nowhere near any Army post. I think the closest we got to them was during our brief stay at Ft. Benning. I'm afraid of not having their influence in his life. I've been blessed with a wonderful family and I want him to feel that, too as he grows older (Again, can I make that NOT happen?).

Anyway, the decision is still up in the air, but J is leaning towards staying in the Army, at least for a bit longer. We have already discussed and submitted our wishes for our next duty station. There are some exciting options in the works, but who knows what will happen. He still has plenty of time to decide.

And I still have plenty of time to fret over this. I think I've been doing that since I met him. If you're thinking of getting hitched to the military, you should probably go ahead and disregard all plans you may have made in your pretty little head. They'll definitely change. But you know what? I'm happier than I've ever been. So, my Master's degree was put on hold for a few years...so what? I'm working on it now. In the mean time, I've made some great friends along the way, been fortunate enough to see much of this great country of ours, and have become a stronger person directly due to some of the things I've faced because of my husband's job in the Army. It won't be so bad if he decides to stay in. It might just be another adventure.

I'm still at the beginning of the last adventure he asked of me, though! ;) It looks a lot like this:

Here's to adventure! May God's plans for us be our plans, too.

health and happiness: an update

First of all, mad props* to those of you who left me comments on my last post. I'm already feeling a little better in that department and I'm sure I'll be doing much better when I get approved to start exercising again. Also, I just wanted to mention how wise you all are. The majority of my readers who voted in the last poll believed that Baby K would arrive slightly early and you all were right! I knew I had smart friends.

I have been MIA lately. My days have been filled with:

little boys who don't want baths

Just snuggles with Mom and Dad:

and food, warmth, and the occasional (read: very frequent) diaper change.

We've been working to see more of this at night:

and less of his Daddy's grumpy faces.

Last night went so well, thanks to some suggestions from Aunt Paige.

That's her right there. Wise woman, she is.

It's thanks to her that I have energy to blog this mornin'.

Anyway, as you can see, I've just been busy. Our sweet neighbors and fellow church members have kept food in this house- we've barely had to go to the grocery store. Actually, I haven't left the house in exactly a week now due to these pesky orders from my doctor to stay in bed. I am happy to report that my blood pressure seems to be under control now and I'm feeling much better.

I finished up school last week, but I'm not sure how I did. I'm expecting my shiny 4.0 GPA to drop because I think I'll probably make a B in the class now. I was so unmotivated and super exhausted after having the baby that I just didn't feel like giving it my all. I hate that, but taking care of my little boy just seemed so much more important at the time. I'm relieved to have the class over, but I have another one starting today. I thought I had a bit of a break in between the two...turns out, I don't even have a day! I hope I can keep up with my studies as well as this little guy:

Luckily, I can still contain him (Note the grumpy face).

Now, I must get back to it. Thanks for checking in on me :) I'm very behind in catching up with all of you, but I try to visit a couple of blogs a day. I'll get there eventually! Have a happy Monday.

Love,

(us).

(*I just always wanted to say that.)

Body Image

Much has happened over the last few weeks that I have kept from you...inadvertantly, of course. I haven't had much time to write and I've missed it very much. It keeps me sane. Yes, I'm insinuating that I'm going mad. I meant to. Maybe I am.

Motherhood is lovely. Surreal. I still can't believe that I'm in charge of this tiny, beautiful baby boy. Sometimes when I'm staring at him, watching his every facial expression change, I think to myself how I barely knew what love was until he came into our lives. My definition seems to have changed and altered my whole world!

The remnants of my pregnancy are leaving me feeling a different way, though. That's what I want to talk about today--body image.

Mine sucks. It always has, really. I don't know where this comes from. I just know that I'm rarely happy with the way I look. In fifth grade, I began to notice that when I sat down in a chair, the fat (or skin) on my legs would flail out so I started sitting down with just my tippy toes touching the ground. That way, no one would know how huge I really was. This is absolutely ridiculous, especially because I was a really skinny kid.

In 7th and 8th grade, I dreaded changing in the locker rooms for my basketball games and then later changing again into my cheerleading uniform for the guys game. I would change in the shower most times because I didn't want anyone to see my love handles that were actually nonexistent. I was probably 85 lbs soaking wet.

These self-conscious feelings never left me and when I arrived in college, much of my research began to be focused around body image. I worked at a gym and tried to stay in shape, but for the most part, I was rarely happy with what I saw in the mirror. After meeting Captain J, I cut myself some slack, I think. He made me feel good about myself and in turn, I wanted to be healthy, to look healthy for him.

I knew getting pregnant would disrupt that. I knew I would stress about gaining too much weight, stretch marks, not being able to workout, et cetera. I felt pretty good during the last nine months, though. It wasn't until after I had Baby K and looked down to still see a woman who appeared to be about 5 or 6 months preggo that I began to worry again.

My stomach goes down a little every day. And I didn't expect to be a size four again over night.

But, it's just...

I'm frustrated! I'm frustrated mostly because I actually was feeling pretty good about myself until I went to the hospital the other day. Two people asked me when I was due. Seriously? Context clues people...I was carrying a diaper bag!

I ended up gaining 31 lbs. I've already lost 19 last I checked. It's nice to see the number going down again. But I still feel pretty gross in all my old clothes and the end isn't really in sight. My doctor has put me on bed rest- as in don't get out of bed, don't have visitors, and don't you dare exercise orders. I was hoping to at least be able to take walks again. Releasing endorphins is another thing that keeps me sane.

But I can't do any of that. I feel trapped in this bed.

All I want is to be able to feel good about myself again, but that seems so far away because I'm forbidden to work out. I know this all may seem very petty, shallow even to you. It's how I'm feeling, though. I'm just so thankful that I have the sweetest, most beautiful baby I've ever laid eyes on to show for it.

He makes it all worth it.

And somehow I escaped pregnancy number one with no stretch marks. Miracle! I do love that cocoa butter.

Anyway, I'm just writing this down to vent. I know there's someone out there reading who deals with similar issues. I could place blame on the media, but I won't. I'll take responsibility for my false beliefs about my body and do something to try to change them. The last thing I want to do is teach my child(ren) poor body image.

One of these days...

...when I catch my breath, I'll post again.

It has been an interesting few days here in our household. As we try to get used to tending to the cutest kid in all the land, we're also still dealing with my blood pressure issues.

I've been in and out of the hospital. :(

And every little minute away from our new bundle of joy is not okay with me.

I mean, just look at this wrinkly baby skin-



You wouldn't want to be away either.

No school, no hospital, no nothin' can keep me from wanting and needing to be near him at this time.

So, please excuse me while I get back to it. Thank you all so much for your congratulations and well-wishes. I'll write more when life calms down. Until then, I could use some prayers. This bed rest/hospital admittance routine is no fun.

XOXO,

Mrs. K

a birth story

The woman clutches her womb, sending a knowing glance toward her husband. The look tells him, "this is it" and he quickly and efficiently heads to the nursery to grab her Vera Bradley hospital bag, lovingly packed with several onesies that she cannot choose which the babe will wear first. Together, they drive to the hospital and in between contractions, they smile at each other and talk about how excited they are that their lives are about to change forever.

That's the way I saw Baby K's birthday going down. Totally did.not.happen.

I started off the day with a doctor's appointment on Tuesday morning. This was after an eventful Monday spent at the hospital with ridiculously high blood pressure. They eventually sent me home with plans to return the next day to see my regular doctor. After taking my blood pressure a few more times, they collectively decided that inducing would be best. I can't say that I wasn't relieved. I was.

They scheduled my induction for the next morning and I drove home with plans of doing homework and spending my last night before motherhood in bed. Captain J decided to go see a doctor about his shoulder since we were already at the hospital. He planned on coming home and taking care of me afterward. As I was spreading the good news to family and friends about our impending miracle, the hospital called. They said, "We think you should come back now."

EEk! Now? Like as in, turn my car around, walk into the hospital, and have a baby? Oh my gravy.

I said I would be back soon and went home to grab a few things and more importantly, eat! Meanwhile, J is stuck in the hospital with no cell service and I'm frantically redialing his phone over and over to tell him we're about to be parents.

You know that lovely scenario I mentioned? Well, imagine this one:

Woman grabs belly and looks to her left and her right. No one is at home to take her to the hospital. She must drive herself.

That was more like it. At this point, I had been contracting for over a week with little results. As I drove myself back, I realized my contractions were about 2 min apart. I got in the birthing room after getting a hold of J who rushed up, still in his ACUs. This was it! I settled in for a long day laboring. Periodically, my nurses would come in the room, asking if I was okay and if I needed painkillers. I repeatedly told them I was fine and that now that the baby had turned anterior, I wasn't feeling the contractions that much. They couldn't believe it, as the contractions were measuring off the charts. I began to think, maybe I won't get an epidural.

HA!

An hour later, I was quite whiney and an hour after that, I was desperate. Unfortunately, I had waited too long to tell anyone about my pain and the doc was in surgery with someone else. After a few more hours, he finally came in and I have never been happier to see a middle aged, short, bald man with a syringe in his hand ever before in my life. The epidural was welcoming. I didn't mind that minor poke in my spine after what I had just gone through. Anyway, the epidural was amazing. It truly allowed me to enjoy the birth of Baby K.

For the rest of the day, I laid around playing words with friends on my phone and cracking jokes with my loving husband. When "YaYa" and "Aunt Paige" arrived at the hospital around midnight, there was still no baby. I broke the news to them that I wasn't even dilated a solid 4cm yet. To say I was discouraged after 12 hours, is an understatement. We visited with them awhile then the nurse wanted to check me again. They left the room thinking I was at 4 and they re-entered hearing the nurse yell, "We need to break down the bed!"

I was fully dilated to 10 cm and fully effaced. She asked me to push a little and quickly told me to stop. They called the doctor and all of the sudden, I'm supposed to know how to push a human being out of me. Craziness. Obviously, I figured it out ;) Delivery  didn't go as I expected either. It was all so fast.

Monitoring the baby's heartbeat told them that it was dropping quickly. I didn't understand what was going on at first until I started listening to the sound waves and only heard my own, slower heartbeat broadcasting. Doc said we had to get the baby out now so I pushed as hard as I could and out came our precious little K. The cord had been wrapped around his neck so when I finally heard him cry seconds later (which felt like minutes later), I was overjoyed! Thinking back now, it makes me cry. I can't look at him without thinking how he holds my entire life in his tiny little hands.

Baby K weighed in at 6lbs, 8oz and 20.5 inches long- a cute bundle of perfection, if you ask me.

Daddy and Baby K

Reppin' Ft. Polk!

Look at that face!

When he makes this face, he is allll daddy. :) And how cute is that hat? Special thanks to the reader who sent it- I love it!

No matter how this sweet baby made his way into the world, I'm so so happy he did.

Nice little Saturday.

Hello, blogosphere! It has been a day or two since I graced you with my presence. I'll be honest...it's because I haven't had much positive to say. I'm tired. I'm cranky. I'm achy. And I WANNA HAVE THIS BABY!

But today is Saturday, a new day.

I'm going to do my darndest to have a good day. Here's what's going on around our place this morning:



There's lots of trying to sweet talk Baby K right out.

(It's not working).

Captain J and I woke up early this morning and went for a walk around the neighborhood. This big fat cow pregnant lady walked half a mile and I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm proud of that. ;)

Soon after we were sitting in front of the t.v. enjoying an egg sandwich and watching House Hunters International.

Nice little Saturday.

What are you up to today? Link up at Loves of Life!

little things

Little things make me smile. They have to.

It's 105 degrees in these parts for most of the day (and my doctor is telling me to walk to induce! ha Easy for her to say.) and I rarely venture outside. I play with our k9 friends for a bit. I check the mail. If I'm feeling really frisky, I'll walk down the short driveway and retrieve the trash cans. This is the extent of my leaving our nicely air conditioned casa.

This means I have to find happiness in the little things...

Like lime flavored popsicles:

And when my husband is preparing his helmet thing-a-majig for jumping out of airplanes while simultaneously eating said popsicle and being totally engrossed in one of the Harry Potter movies:

And random, odd text messages from my brother:

Yes, it's the small stuff that gets me through my day.

Otherwise, I'd be going absolutely insane with contractions one hour-

and absolutely nothing the next.

Such a tease.

I hope this baby turns around soon. Back pain is for the birds.

What little things made you smile today?

(P.S. Captain J jumped out of an airplane today and lived. That made me smile, too. Don't they know they shouldn't let soon-to-be dads in warzones or throwing themselves out of airplanes? It's just not kosher with Mama!)

So, I wait.

"There is time enough for everything. Take it easy." ~ Eleanor Kirk

One might say I've adopted this mantra as of late or at least I've attempted to. My existence has become a waiting game. How strange it feels to be on the cusp of motherhood, a period of time, change, and role replacement that will alter my path forever. Yet, I'm still sitting around, staring at my ever-growing middle and wondering how this will all work out.

Is there really a 7lb, bouncing baby boy inside me? Am I really to be trusted with this new life? He has been mine for nine long months, how will I learn to share him now?

These are just a few questions that float freely through my mind throughout the day. My life is about to change forever and it's no little thing. Anticipation. Excitement. Fear.

I told a friend earlier today that the end of this pregnancy has felt much like the end of a deployment. It is by far the most excruciating part emotionally. If you aren't accustomed to military life, then I'll let you glimpse it for a moment...

Wives, mothers, sisters, brothers- none of us know exactly when our soldier will be home. We hear various rumors and are often pushed to our limits being told, "The plane should pick them up tomorrow" only to hear the same the next day. What you may not know is that there are several plane rides that eventually bring the service member home. Layovers are days or weeks long and all we can do is wait. All we can do is think about that meeting, eyes finding one another, that first touch that makes everything right with the world again.

I feel much like that now.

Good things come to those who wait, though. I might just have a little bit more wait in me than I thought. I suppose I have the U.S. Army to thank for that.



I waited a whole year to take this homecoming picture. One entire year on the man I love.

Surely, I'll make it a couple more weeks on my sweet baby to decide to make his way into my arms. So, I wait.