I just need to write. I usually try to respond to all the comments on the previous post prior to posting a new one, but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed this morning. If we're friends on facebook, you might already know the news. Baby A can't hear. In my heart, it feels so devastating to read that. It's heavy. It hurts. I hurt for him.
We don't know the extent of his hearing loss yet. We DO know that there is some sound in his ear, but very little compared to normal functioning. The next step is the sedated ABR. We couldn't get him to cooperate by falling asleep at the test yesterday so we will have to take him back to learn more. I'm eager to find out how to help him, but in the same breath I'm mourning a little.
I know I shouldn't. He's healthy and not being able to hear is what he knows, but it's not what I know and all I can think about is how I can't talk to my child. Every sentence I utter, I go over the very limited sign language I know in my head; I'm lucky if I can sign one word out of everything I say. I don't know where to start and I feel so overwhelmed. I feel so bad, though I know this is just a thing. Something I couldn't help. Still, as parents we yearn to protect our children from hardship and I just keep thinking of all the moments in his future that I won't be able to shield him from...
*the looks from strangers insinuating that he's badly behaved when he screams (his only way of communicating) for something
*learning to read (how do you read a book to a child that is hearing impaired?)
*and what if kids poke fun at his possible hearing aids or delayed language development?
I've just got to stop because I'm in tears. I want desperately to help and my hands are tied right now. I can't.
Thank you so much for your prayers as we move into this new chapter of our lives. God is with us and he has plans to prosper us and not harm us. I believe that.
31 comments:
I will be keeping you in my prayers. I know it is a different type of situation than what I have gone through or going through with my own boys but I can totally relate to some of your feelings. *hugs*
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. Just know you are an amazing mother and will do whatever you can to make sure he stays happy and healthy.
As always I'm keeping you all in my prayers! Hugs!
Many prayers and hugs.
Lots and lots of hugs.
xoxo
Lots of love and hugs headed your way!! And you guys are in our prayers always :) xx
Hugs! You will be in my thoughts.
Let yourself mourn, love. It's ok. It's a loss. A loss of what society considers "normal", a loss of being able to shield him from all of those things you mentioned, and a feeling of a huge lack of control. It's only to mourn those things. Just remember in the back of your mind somewhere that, slowly but surely, you will learn all the necessary tools you need. And until then, little Abel knows that he is loved completely... And love is a universal language :) love you guys tons. Hugs.
It's only natural to mourn those things *
Let yourself mourn, love. It's ok. It's a loss. A loss of what society considers "normal", a loss of being able to shield him from all of those things you mentioned, and a feeling of a huge lack of control. It's only to mourn those things. Just remember in the back of your mind somewhere that, slowly but surely, you will learn all the necessary tools you need. And until then, little Abel knows that he is loved completely... And love is a universal language :) love you guys tons. Hugs.
Kate (Daffodils) just sent me your way. We found out a few months ago that our son has severe to profound hearing loss in both ears (he's essentially deaf). We've cried. We've mourned. We hit low points that I'm sure you can understand. Alex is now 5.5 months old and we are in the progress of getting him cochlear implants. I'm in support groups (we have one on facebook that will make you feel better if you want me to share with you).
I'm here for you. I still cry several times a week. But I also feel I'm getting towards acceptance. And I just KNOW that my little boy is going to be alright.
My blog is www.sittinginatree-blog.com If you click on the Alex's ears button at the top, it'll lead you to my posts based on him and our journey.
My husband also writes a blog just about Alex and his deafness. bornintosilence.com
Let me know if you need anything.
Shannon
Praying for you guys! I am so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this is right now, but he is such a loved little boy and you are getting early intervention so hopefully that will help. You guys are amazing parents and he is lucky to have you every step of the way in this journey. But it is okay to mourn too, you deserve to give yourself that moment. HUGS
Shannon's husband here. I know it's an awful thing that you're going through right now and my heart goes out to you. Everything you've said resonates deeply.
This won't be of much comfort to you now, but please know that there are amazing therapies and technologies for hearing loss, and they're getting better all of the time. I'm always encouraged at seeing what these kids are doing that I thought they'd never be able to do.
I'm so sorry you were given this new, but please know that the world isn't closed to your son. We'll be thinking of you and your family.
Continued prayers for all of your family. Hugs!
Praying for you and your family! Some of my mom-friends have taught their babies sign language anyway before they were able to speak to ask for what they want…"milk", "blanket", "paci"…the basics that babies want but can't ask for when they're too young to speak.
As someone else said, it's a "new" normal. And it's more than okay to feel sad. Hugs.
I'm praying you all find some answers and help soon. I know what you mean about the looks from strangers, my 3 year old was just diagnosed with autism and he acts up in public sometimes too bc he's can't communicate either. Sometimes I just want to put a sign over his head that says "he's special, leave us alone!" Mostly I just try to ignore all the looks, I try to tell myself that they're just strangers and not get too worked up.
So sorry you're going through this. I cannot pretend to understand but I can pray for you and your family!
Praying for you, Kacy. And for sweet Baby A as well. xo
You guys are in my thoughts! This can be a difficult time!
Have you heard of the blog "Kelly's Korner?" Her daughter has hearing loss and she talks about that frequently. It's worth a read! I also have a friend on Facebook whose son was diagnosed with, I think, full hearing loss in both ears, as a very young baby. They're going through that process. It's overwhelming I'm sure!
Oh, Kacy. My heart hurts right along with you. It's a whole different kind of pain when something isn't right with our babies. That little guy is just the cutest boy on my Instagram feed, and I smile at every picture. He has a great life ahead and great parents. Praying for you often lately, and asking friends to pray, too.
Oh, Kacy. My heart hurts right along with you. It's a whole different kind of pain when something isn't right with our babies. That little guy is just the cutest boy on my Instagram feed, and I smile at every picture. He has a great life ahead and great parents. Praying for you often lately, and asking friends to pray, too.
I'm sorry to hear about your son, its never easy to hear something like that but just think about all the programs out there to help your son develop as he grows. check out signing time videos, they did wonders for my sister (she has autism and very little speech limited to lines she has learned from movies and songs). God has a plan for your son and he will do great things one day, and don't dwell on those negative people they will never understand your situation until they have lived it and you'll just drive yourself crazy thinking about all the things you could have said to defend your son. We still get the stares when my sister's (17 years old) goes out in public, usually I just stare back or say something like "Do you have a staring problem?" or "Are you autistic? Cause my sister is, yes its sad but whats pathetic is you judging her because she can't explain herself". Try not to worry (easier said then done) I have faith that your son will grow up and become a wonderful member of society, you are in my prayers.
Praying for you all!
Praying for you and your sweet baby.
You're right, Kacy. It's just a thing. God will work it all out. Keep your faith at the forefront of your life and watch God do wonderous things through your little man. Know we love you and have you all in our prayers.
@sarah: "love is a universal language" Thank you so much for that reminder. I love it.
@Andy: I appreciate you writing. I've been perusing your blog this weekend and it has helped me tremendously. It gives me hope for our son! I'm excited to get to work helping him as much as I can.
@Unknown: Thank you for the prayers! I am going to order some signing time. Those videos help so much. I just have the baby one but it taught my son (and I) a lot of words early on. We used it with my first child and sort of fell of the bandwagon with signing, but we will all start back up and learn as much as we can.
@Aunt Char: Love you, too! Thank you for praying with us.
I am so sorry to hear this. He is so lucky to have such a good momma on his side. Thinking about you.
Oh, Kacy. My heart aches for you. I'm sending so much love your way! <3
I read your feelings about finding out your sweet son cannot hear. I got tears in my eyes thinking of all your emotions right now. Everything you are feeling is understandable, very normal and you go ahead and grieve, cry, stomp your feet. He is your baby. He will learn, you will learn, He will be ok because he has you as his mother. Thoughts are prayers are with all your family as you move forward and learn more about how to help your son.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. It is definitely a season of mourning. I pray that the doctors figure out what's wrong and are able to correct it to the best of their abilities!
I'm sure you're a jumble of emotions, still. I can't even imagine all of it. Your sweet boy may never hear the words "I love you" in your voice, but he will feel it every day. God chose you to be his mother for a reason. ((big hugs)) sent your way!
Post a Comment
I know you've got something to say!