The good luck spatula

I didn't have a wedding ultimately because I'm a cynic. I won't go too far into detail because I recognize that wedding season has begun and I wouldn't want to put a damper on anyone's day. The truth is, though, there's only a few people whose wedding I would actually want to go to and I kept that in mind as I was playing with the idea of having a wedding of my own.

I thought, "Surely no one cares much about what dress I will choose, what my hair will look like, and what music I'll walk down the isle to." I figured if everyone had to come to a wedding, they'd mostly be concerned with whether or not there was alcohol or if it was on the house. Most of all, though, I didn't think anyone would want to come, aside from family and close friends- and that was pushing it!

Then there was the business of showers. It sort of, kind of makes me feel totally uncomfortable. I mean, why would anyone buy me fine china because I found the man I want to be with? Nothing says "good luck" like a new spatula, I suppose.

I guess I just felt like I didn't deserve the gifts that were sent our way. People were incredibly nice with their cards, words of encouragement, and lovely house warming/newlywed gifts that it left me at a loss for words. We hadn't even given them a wedding party to attend yet presents were arriving in the mail, left and right.

I think the majority of my anti-wedding feelings stemmed from the fact that I'm an introvert. I don't enjoy having all the attention focused on me, despite my love of this very public blog of mine. Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of everyone staring up, eyes focused on me, on a day that I want to remember as incredibly special and important. You see, I wouldn't have been able to enjoy the moment I married my best friend if I was nervous about tripping down the isle or searching for the right words to say when some random, intoxicated, old dude sauntered up at the wedding reception asking for a dance.

As I reflect on all these happily avoided moments, I can breathe a sigh of relief. I can spend the entire month of May celebrating other couples wedding festivities and think to myself, "Better them than me!" I mean that in the best possible way. I know most women would love to walk down the isle in a gorgeous dress with all eyes on them on their very special day, but that's just not my cup of tea. I would marry Captain J a million times over, but thank God I don't have to.

So, here's to the end of April and the beginning of May! I'll be home in Tennessee quite a bit in the upcoming month to celebrate with friends who are soon saying "I do." I can't say I won't be as big as a house by then. I can't say I won't avoid the picture taking at all costs. But I can say, Happy Wedding Day to all of you who are tying the knot. I'm incredibly happy for each of you and wish you so much love on this new chapter in your lives.

Meanwhile, I'll be the pregnant chick in the back, trying not to pass out from all this Southern heat and humidity.

Blessings,