Look out, pregnant lady down!

How did this cute, energized, feelin' good preggo lady

29 Weeks

end up completely disoriented on the floor of the hospital?

Well, I'll tell you. It all started with this:

Yes, the dreaded glucose test. I wasn't worried in the slightest about this little procedure. In hindsight, I think I should have been. I waltzed into the Army hospital with my cute ThirtyOne bag in hand, filled to the brim with school work I have yet to do. I wasn't about to waste this required hour simply sitting around in a waiting room.

For those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about:

"They" give you this ominous orange liquid that's incredibly sweet and disgusting. You have five minutes to down it. Then you must wait around for an hour and ponder why your husband put you in this predicament. After an hour has elapsed, you are then taken to a room where "they" will draw your blood.

Easy peasy, right?

WRONG!

After about 30 minutes, I began to feel very uncomfortable. It seemed ten degrees hotter than the minute before. I reached up to gather my hair from touching my neck and fan myself. Whew! Dizziness, too.

I put my books and notes away, willing myself not to puke all over the waiting room.

There were tons of people in there, as usual so I definitely didn't want to purge the system for all to see. A visit to the hospital is bad enough.

For the sake of everyone in the room, I decided I would go to the bathroom and lose my lunch there. I was quite bummed as I stood up because I was going to have to do this all over again, as tossing my cookies would void the test.

I grabbed my bag and made my way through the crowd into a not-so-crowded hallway where the bathroom was only steps away. Only...

I didn't quite make it.

Black spots everywhere. Elephants seemingly taking up residence on my brain. Heat. Head circles. Yuck.

Look out, pregnant lady down.

I woke up to a man staring at me and then calling for help. Then big, bad Army guys lifting me up and showering me with cold compresses, water, and lots of smiles. Were they laughing at me?

I felt so dumb. The women seemed frantic. The men were overly attentive. I was just hopelessly embarrassed. Of all the doctor appointments for Captain J not to go to! Of course, I'd completely lose it at this one.

Apparently, I didn't fall, so that's good. I also never painted the hospital green either, another plus. I got to continue with the test. Results forthcoming.

Blah. What a day.

P.S. - For other Ralphing terms, visit this website and expand your vocabulary as I just did.