No advice, just coffee.

I've got my cheerios and my typing fingers ready, but my brain is still in bed, snuggling the covers and gazillion pillows I require these days. It's like I really, really want to talk to all of you, but I'm craving your company instead. My blog has always been an avenue to "meet" some really great individuals, but today I just wish you were sitting in front of me (I'd put on a bra, I swear) enjoying a cup of coffee with me. 

I miss my friends back home terribly. The truth is, I wouldn't be able to enjoy a slow morning with coffee and friends there either because there's this thing called the real world and people have to have jobs. I'm so disconnected from it all. All I know is that my job is here and it doesn't end, but it does provide blogging breaks while the little one is snacking on his banana.

If you were here, in front of me with your coffee, I'd pour myself a cup and tell you about how yesterday was trying for us. When Baby K was small and he cried constantly, I secretly couldn't wait until he could understand what I was saying because I thought that would be easier. Now that he's older, I know he understands so much yet he rarely listens when it counts (in my mind). I don't really want to go into details about which behaviors I feel like are getting out of hand. I'd rather talk about my insecurity in dealing with them. I'm his mama and I know that I know what's best for him ultimately. But during the daily grind of parenthood? It's ugly. I cry when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I yell at the walls. Nothing that is productive in changing his behavior. I crumble and feel defeated. I feel like a bad mom. No one wants to raise a little brat and the truth is: I'm terrified of doing that.

I just don't know how to discipline a tiny toddler. He knows what "no" means, but that can only go so far before it's tested and then completely disregarded. The other day a friend mentioned that her (months older) son was beginning to throw tantrums and shout no at her. Immediately, I felt jipped because K has been doing this for at least a month. He doesn't say "no" but he shakes his head furiously in between bouts of kicking, screaming and writhing on the floor.

I'm not looking for advice today, I promise.

I just needed to write all this out so that it's behind me. Today is a new day with him and I've got my patience in my pocket, close by, so that I can pull it out several times today. God has blessed me with this incredibly sweet, perfect creation and I just want to do what's right for him.

Thanks for sharing coffee with me!