I've got my cheerios and my typing fingers ready, but my brain is still in bed, snuggling the covers and gazillion pillows I require these days. It's like I really, really want to talk to all of you, but I'm craving your company instead. My blog has always been an avenue to "meet" some really great individuals, but today I just wish you were sitting in front of me (I'd put on a bra, I swear) enjoying a cup of coffee with me.
I miss my friends back home terribly. The truth is, I wouldn't be able to enjoy a slow morning with coffee and friends there either because there's this thing called the real world and people have to have jobs. I'm so disconnected from it all. All I know is that my job is here and it doesn't end, but it does provide blogging breaks while the little one is snacking on his banana.
If you were here, in front of me with your coffee, I'd pour myself a cup and tell you about how yesterday was trying for us. When Baby K was small and he cried constantly, I secretly couldn't wait until he could understand what I was saying because I thought that would be easier. Now that he's older, I know he understands so much yet he rarely listens when it counts (in my mind). I don't really want to go into details about which behaviors I feel like are getting out of hand. I'd rather talk about my insecurity in dealing with them. I'm his mama and I know that I know what's best for him ultimately. But during the daily grind of parenthood? It's ugly. I cry when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I yell at the walls. Nothing that is productive in changing his behavior. I crumble and feel defeated. I feel like a bad mom. No one wants to raise a little brat and the truth is: I'm terrified of doing that.
I just don't know how to discipline a tiny toddler. He knows what "no" means, but that can only go so far before it's tested and then completely disregarded. The other day a friend mentioned that her (months older) son was beginning to throw tantrums and shout no at her. Immediately, I felt jipped because K has been doing this for at least a month. He doesn't say "no" but he shakes his head furiously in between bouts of kicking, screaming and writhing on the floor.
I'm not looking for advice today, I promise.
I just needed to write all this out so that it's behind me. Today is a new day with him and I've got my patience in my pocket, close by, so that I can pull it out several times today. God has blessed me with this incredibly sweet, perfect creation and I just want to do what's right for him.
Thanks for sharing coffee with me!
13 comments:
I'm coming!! I can't wait to chat over coffee and screams :-)
I would drink coffee with you friend!
And, of course, I have no advice for you. Yesterday, a 10 year old made a face at me and I made one back. So yeah. No advice from me.
I would definitely drink coffee with you! :) I hope you have a great day.
love the bra comment i really did lol. Having my coffee too so I guess we are really sittin havin coffee together! Here whenever you wanna chat and take your blog breaks :)
Would love to have coffee with you! Especially since it would naturally be a play date and these boys could keep each other entertained for whole minutes while we made a pie:)
Aww! I would love to share a cup or four of coffee with you! There is something comforting in just sitting there with a friend even if not all the problems are solved in that time. I hope today is much better!
Oh it would be so awesome to share a cup of coffee with you! I find myself thinking that all the time about my blog friends. I love having such good friends through this, but I so want to have all of those people in my every day life, especially in times like you described. Sometimes just having this avenue to get our thoughts out helps a bit though :) You are an awesome momma, in my opinion :) I hope today has been a better day!
I too would share a hot beverage with you ;) Being a parent is freaking hard sometimes...
I'd take the coffee any day, and I'd take you out for drinks and leave your husband home hah. I'm sorry you've been having a rough time - not having friends is really, really hard. I swear some days the only thing that keeps me sane is the quick greetings with my coworkers (we don't really have time to sit and talk like in other workplaces) but yeah. I hope things get better!
Oy! I know the feeling. And I do hope the next day is better!
Hang in there Momma! Cullen and I had a come to jesus meeting yesterday because he was being so bad. Parenting is tough and you are doing great!
Oh mama... You said it so well-
"Today is a new day with him and I've got my patience in my pocket, close by, so that I can pull it out several times today"
exactly that.
I like to put my worries into the other pocket and hope they stay there :)
I know how you feel! Moms of older kids keep telling me it was the same for them and this phase shall pass as well. I just hope they are telling the truth!
By the way, hi! I am Angie. I found your blog on the walkabout today.
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