Now, I feel like quitting.
I don't want to be a quitter. And I've always wanted to get my Master's, but right now I just feel this tug towards something that I'm realizing is more important to me--motherhood. I feel like garbage when Baby K is crying and I'm frustrated because I can't type out coherent sentences. I used to have so much time to really focus on what I'm writing. Now, I get ten minute incriments, like the one I have now and that's hardly enough to create a paper that I'm proud of. I continue to do well, but it's at the cost of my house and my sanity.
I know I need to stay the course, for lack of a better term. I know I need to have something to rely on if (God forbid) I find myself in a situation where I will need to support K and me. And I know that I'll be proud when I do accomplish this goal of mine. Right now, though? It sucks. It's terrible.
On top of it all, Captain J is headed out into the field again. Very soon. Like on my birthday soon.
It's times like these when being a military spouse is so hard. I'm going to be alone with a fussy 3 month old while attempting to make good grades in an online class that has so much busy work. Sleep is a thing of the past. And I have to do all this without coffee now b/c it upsets Baby K's tummy. This mama is stressed and feels like giving up.
I won't though. Not yet anyway.
8 comments:
Oh no! I'm worried about this too! Hang in there, hopefully you will get some good rest soon! We went through some terrible nights when our lo was that age. She seems to be doing much better now, although I am usually exhausted when she goes to bed at night!
If you ever need to drop him off for a few hours for school, nap.. Or whatever.. You know I'm always here for you! :) any time or day. You'd be helping me get my baby fix too ;) just give me a call. I dont do a whole lot. Lol or if you just want to come over to hand out too :)
I finished my Masters after my daughter was born too. It was tough but you just have to hang in there. You can do it!
Ms. Kacy, as someone who endured those exhausting data, thesis, 24-hour computer labs, and deadlines with you I wish so badly we could walk down the sidewalk together in tears again [remember that day?!]. Because even though that was one of the worst times it was also one of my best memories because we totally had to lean on each other to survive. You are SO much stronger than we were back then. Look at EVERYTHING you have done in the time since graduation! You are so capable of achieving this goal. I know you're beyond tired, but YOU CAN DO THIS! If I could be there now we would commiserate with Friends and pizza, but instead please take my friendly, loving words of advise and keep your head held high, your chin up, and your spirit high. You can do anything, you can do this!
Love you, Sarah
You're my hero. You're my hero. You're my hero. I have no idea of how you are doing this at all (for real). But I think, if you have come this far, that you can do it. You will always, always be a momma. This school stuff will go by quickly, in the grand scheme of things. That being said...you know yourself. And some things that are worth it now, will be worth it later, too.
Hang in there Kace. Before you know it, Baby K will have moved away, married a sweet girl, and all you'll be able to do is email, text, call, and skype to get a report on your grandson. We love and miss you all, but know you're one tough cookie! Pop
Don't Don't Don't give up!
I think you're pretty awesome for getting your Master's with a new baby and a hubby that is in the military (when you never know when they're going to be sent somewhere for something). I only have the new baby and the military man and there are days that I'm ready to throw in the towel. The end result will be SO worth all the hard work and heartache. You can do it!!
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