Valleys

How many times have I poured my heart out on this blog? I've been writing publicly since 2009 and when I look back, I see that my posts were so much more personal years ago. I don't know if it's the surge of negative comments and emails I tend to receive when I write about something that matters to me that keeps me from sharing like I used to. In my heart, I feel as if it's more of my own problem as a writer. Despite a loving husband, beautiful child and another on the way, I'm totally uninspired. My spiritual life is lacking. I look at my surroundings and I don't feel a connection to nature anymore. I barely feel unique as everything is slipping away, out of my grasp. My friends, my hobbies, my educational goals, my professional goals- everything is far away.

When I married into the Army I knew it was for better or worse. I put my Master's degree on hold happily as I followed Captain J to Alaska. I needed a little adventure afterall. I had been in school since I was 6 years old. School could wait and love could not.

I begrudgingly said goodbye to my friends knowing we would stay in touch and if we didn't well we weren't that good of friends to begin with. I'm happy to report that those I considered close to me are still there despite seeing me a mere few days out of the year. We still chat occasionally but I know they're just a phone call away if I need them and I hope they know that from my end, too. Still, I mourn them. There's just something about having your best friend around to cry on especially when you know you have no business crying in the first place. There's no judgement. I've been pregnant for two years or close enough and these hormones are no joke. Sometimes I wish I could just have one of them walk through the door so I could have five minutes of feeling like myself again.

Where am I in all of this? I've had pessimistic tendencies in the past, but I just cannot drag myself out of this valley. I never thought I needed any one thing or person to make me happy as long as I had my family and my faith, but now I'm not so sure. Living in this place has reminded me that I experience God the most when I'm in the mountains. Even when I visit beaches, I like to look out at the enormity of it and praise God for His awesomeness. I feel closer to God when I can go out and hike His creation, away from the world as we know it now. But when I went to the beach last week, I just saw people. Busyness. Paradise was paved and stacked up with rides, shopping areas, and clutter. To be in such a beautiful place, it was difficult to appreciate it because I knew what I was going back to- Ft. Polk, LA- the land of tattoo shops, strip joints, and bars. It's depressing. Another blogger wrote about this the other day and I think there's some merit in what she was saying. I think there's a sort of "regional depression" that is settling over our household because I'm letting it. I'm well aware that I choose how to react to my situation, but I also know that not enjoying this location is huge influence, too. And just thinking what all we have to do before we leave here next year is entirely overwhelming. Not only will we be packing up, job searching, and looking for a new home, we will also be smack dab in the newborn stage with the baby on the way. Two babies under two. Christmas. Moving. Stress. Hormones. I feel ill-equipped to handle it all.

God is my provider, though and He has never let me down. I know it will all work out as it should. But this time of transition for me is harder than I thought it might be. In a short period of time, I've changed into this mother- a mother to two- instead of a newlywed graduate student who still wants to make a difference by contributing to people by helping, to her family by earning money, and to her worth by showing she is good at something other than managing a home. I don't feel as if I'm contributing to our family because most days my goal is to make it to nap time or make it to bedtime.

I must remind myself that my son is thriving and we're making precious memories together right now. It's not just my life anymore. And I'll do anything for my children.

But I look forward to some balance. Eventually I'd like to incorportate some of my hobbies back into my life. Scrapbooking. Writing. Tennis. Being active. Anything that will make this sad little woman into the happy woman of God that I know is hiding inside. I know life is full of peaks and valleys and soon I'll have a higher elevation to write from. Until then, thanks for listening (hopefully without judgement).

a Currently post

I haven't blogged much recently. Sometimes I sit down thinking- I have so much to tell them! Then I realize that finding a black widow spider at my backdoor and /or moving Baby K's crib mattress down a notch isn't exactly thrilling news. Just another day at the Mrs. K and Captain J household. Well, anyway- I may not have many adventure stories anymore but I'm glad you're here.

I thought I'd tell you what's been happening in our little life here.

Currently I am:

Reading:

This book is really good. It's a fictional piece following the life of a man who seems to be at the lowest point of his life. He lost his job and then was fired from the next. Struggling to make ends meet, he becomes desparate. He then has an opportunity to travel back in time to gain wisdom and advice from some historical figures such as Anne Frank and Christopher Columbus. The story is entertaining and at the same time it's uplifting with words of wisdom that can be applied to my own life. I really like it.

Watching:

This is my new favorite addition to my seemingly endless reality t.v. show collection on our DVR. If you don't like the Palin's, I don't wanna hear about it (kidding, kind of) because I think they're interesting, entertaining, and yeah- a good ole American family. I could be wrong but I think they're good people. Watching the show makes me miss Alaska, though. I just love how people leave you alone there. No one cares who you are or what you're doing as long as it doesn't infringe upon them. I just want a small town nestled in the mountains to call home but if you've been reading awhile, you probably already know that!

Loving:

I told you Baby K had his first real photo sesh the other day, right? I was so proud of him. He giggled as the camera came out and his photos turned out so cute. I love that I will finally have some nice ones to frame. Photos were taken by Herald Photography. If you're in the Fort Polk area, look her up. She's awesome!

Precious.

Avoiding:

 Pin Credit

Anything productive. Captain J only goes into work briefly in the morning and then the rest of the day he is mine-all-mine (he has a little break this week). This makes for a very lazy Mrs. K. Perhaps this is why our suitcase from our trip is still sitting in the kitchen waiting to be totally unpacked and dishes are piling up in the sink. No one ever accused me of being all work and no play!

What have y'all been up to lately?

My Little Beach Babe

Thanks for all the love on the latest guest post! Kristin responded to each of you so if you get a chance, go look at what she had to say.

Obviously, I'm back from the beach. Woo hoo! And I've got to say-

I am so proud of lil man. He was an angel. The drive wasn't bad. He slept well in the hotel room. He came, he saw, he conquered.

He's not too fond of the beach, but pool time seemed to be a hit. I wasn't too fond of the beach either really with Tropical Storm Debby making her presence known during the trip. The waves were huge, though and that was cool to see on the gulf. Usually Florida's waves are tiny in comparison to other places I've seen.

We didn't do much aside from sit around and stare at each other...but we did EAT. We ate a lot. I like to eat in case you haven't gathered that from my recent preggo photos. Of course I had to limit my seafood intake, but I didn't worry too much about my hush puppy intake. Oh.my.gravy.

I do love hush puppies.

Anyway, one night Captain J and I were allotted a date night- just the two of us. It was so nice even if we did end up talking about our child(ren) most of the night. We went to a restaurant on the beach while a storm was brewing. We sat outside for our appetizers, but when it got too windy we moved underneath the deck so that we at least had a shield from the whipping wind. It was gorgeous. Alone time with my husband is prized so I enjoyed his company and conversation more than anything.

Now, I'm back in hot-as-the-blue-blazes Louisiana and hibernating in the air conditioning for the remainder of the summer so I guess by the South's definition of seasons, I'll see ya in October. Good grief. It's hot.

(P.S. Last week marked the end of SOMEthing's Drawn. No one linked up so I think I'm going to retire it. It was fun while it lasted! ;) )

Things No One Will Ever Tell You About Alaska

I have a treat for you today! As you may know, today marks the journey of our first trip to the beach as a family of three (and a half). Lord, help us! Instead of boring you with- wah, I don't wanna take a 10 month old on a roadtrip or a post saying OMGah, he won't stop crying- I decided I'd grace you with the presence of one of my favorite Alaska bloggers. Her name is Kristin and she is great! Although, we don't share the same feelings for America's largest state, I still enjoy her witty posts, yummy sounding recipes, and reading about her life in Anchorage. She's so sweet, too. In her email to me she wrote, "I originally took a more sarcastic tone {with the guest post}, but I know that you really like Alaska so I went with informative." See? How nice! hehe You know you like her already... 

 Hi!  I'm Kristin from Kristin's kNook.  Just like Mrs. K, I'm an Army wife...and I live in Alaska.

I found Mrs. K's blog awhile back.  Or maybe she found me.  I can't remember, but I'm glad it happened! Guest-posting while she's on vacation was a no-brainer.  Of course, I have to talk about Alaska. Her blog drew me in because she had been stationed in Alaska.  There's a lot of Army wives out there, but I'm always interested in the ones who've learned to thrive in the non-traditional duty stations (interested in a completely non-creepy way, of course :) In our 3 years in Alaska, we've done the touristy things.  In my opinion, if you've done it once, you've done it all.  Sure, paying $50 a ticket to see a whale and get seasick on the ocean is fun.  But, seriously, all the whales look the same.  And I can guarantee you that the time you spend simultaneously freezing and throwing up on the boat are not worth a glimpse of a whale's tail.   At least not to me.  If it's worth it to you, then you'd fit in just fine here.

Things No One Will Ever Tell You About Alaska 

1.  You cannot see Russia from Alaska. Well, if you fly above northwest Alaska in a plane and it's a clear day, you may be able to see Russia.  It's 58 miles from western Alaska, across the Bering Strait, to Russia.  No one lives in that part of Russia though.  Russia is big.  And cold.  Look at a map.

2.  Drinking is expensive. When your buddies go out and Facebook a bunch of pictures of them drinking tasty microbrews, what they fail to write in the caption is that each of those beers is costing them between $6-$12.  And that means a night out is going to end up costing close to $100 (if you're out with a date/spouse and you factor in tips).  I came from a town where it cost me, myself, $20 for a night of mixed drinks.  Culture shock indeed.
 3.  Eating out is REALLY expensive. Would you believe that the expensive restaurants in Anchorage don't put their prices on their online menus?  That's how they get you.  Let's put it this way:  A "fancy" dinner is going to cost you and your spouse $90-$100, if you include 1 appetizer, 2 entrees, 2 drinks, and maybe dessert.  Plus tip.  I usually pick either a drink OR dessert in an effort to save money.  Many people I know go out to some of these restaurants all the time.  They, my friends, are what I call "nuts".
 4.  We have everything you have! Truly, we do!  The only chain restaurants/stores that I notice myself missing are Panera, Dunkin' Donuts, Marshall's/Homegoods, and I'd about kill for a Trader Joe's.  When we went to California last year, I stuffed my suitcase full of TJ food to take back to Alaska. I live 2 miles from Wal-Mart, 3 miles from a Target shopping center with numerous stores, and my Starbucks options are limitless.   While I really miss a few key places, I've never had it so good.  When I go home, I'm confused as to where I'm to get my coffee.  My parents live in the middle of nowhere.
 5.  It's not dark all the time. In the winter, in Anchorage, the daylight gets down to about 5 1/2 hours per day.  Sun comes up 10:15am and sets around 3:30-3:45pm.  That's on the shortest day of the year, December 21.  Barrow is obviously different.  Once again, look at a map.  When people find out I live in Alaska, the first thing they say is, "Oh oh! I just couldn't deal with all that darkness!  I just couldn't!".  This prompts me to answer, "Really??  How'd you feel about all that light in the summer??"  This confuses them, thereby ending the conversation.  Right now, we're at about 19 hours of daylight.  People tend to forget that part of the Earth's rotation.

 

Here's a few tidbits if you want to know more, but please, if you're planning a vacation, talk to someone who has been here!  I want you to get the most out of your experience.  Oh, and you can totally look me up.  We can eat over-priced restaurant food together.  

My husband and I in front of the Trans Alaska Pipeline in Fairbanks

Thanks for reading! I hope you'll go check out Kristin's kNook and see for yourself how much fun she is to stalk ;)

SOMEthing's Drawn

Do you play Draw Something? Well, you should if you don't. Here are some of my fabulous drawings from the week:

Pretty good, aye? 

Tell me something... 

Would you get this one? I wrote it and then I thought of a much better way I could've actually drawn something to get my point across. Ahh, well- I'm a cheater- what can I say?

I'd love to see your drawings if you've got some. Just grab the button and link up below.

Happy Wednesday!

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so close

I almost, so close, borderline surprised J for Father's Day. I am NEVER able to get him a present that he likes that he doesn't find out about before hand. I either a) get him something he doesn't want/thinks is dumb or b) he guesses what I got him. It's infuriating. Father's Day snuck up on me which is why I still haven't slipped our other fathers' presents in the mail yet. Oops. Anyway, his package containing his t-shirt from a hole-in-the-wall bar in Alaska that he always regretted not buying arrived just in time on Saturday and I was pleased as peaches until he grabbed the package from the mail box and said, "What did you get me, a t-shirt?" YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. Ugh. Anyway, when he opened it on Sunday, he was still surprised that I remembered so it's sort of a half win.

Did you have a good weekend? Mine was pretty good. Captain J has been home to help out with the kid so I've been able to relax a little and read a lot. It has been so nice to have him home and see him interact and help out with Baby K so much over the past few days.

Well, I've got too much to do to sit around and blog today. I've got to clean the house and pack for our beach trip we're leaving on in the next few days. Not to mention, we're getting some professional photos done of sweet baby K later on, too. Yay! Speaking of sweet, cute little babies...

There's a little poll over on the right hand side of the page under all the followers boxes where you can vote on whether you think Baby #2 is a girl or a boy. Y'all were right last time! I'm counting on you.

Now, if anyone would like to guest post while I'm gone, do let me know and I'll pencil ya in. I'd love to have you.

Happy Monday!

DIY Toys for Your Tot

No doubt I saw this project idea on Pinterest, but I didn't pin it because I knew I could remember it- and, well, now I can't find it! So, it goes. Anyway, I thought I'd share the ideas with all of you (read: so I could show you pictures of how gosh darn cute my kid is) in case you have a 3-18ish month old who might like these activities, too. I spent less than $8 making two toys--thanks dollar store!

1. Visual Mat: (Wish I had thought of this for "tummy time"!)

I added the entire bottle of hair gel to the storage bag first. You might want to buy more than pictured here. Also, you could buy colored gel to spruce it up or add food coloring, but we didn't have any so I just went with it. It's pretty self explanatory- just toss the toys in randomly and use the duct tape to reinforce the edges of the mat.

*Obviously, your child should be supervised when playing with this toy because you wouldn't want your little one to bite into it! Baby K loves this one, though! To prevent chewing on it, you could tape it to a door or window during play time.

2. Maraca: (Hours of entertainment)

Just fill 'er up with colorful toys that create visual interest and make noise.

*Obviously if your child is capable of unscrewing the lid then you'd better tape it up, too. We wouldn't want the little one choking on loose beads. There's your warning. You're welcome ;)

Enjoy creating new and cheap toys with your little one!

Over and out,

When The Rain Comes

I don't know why I don't remember the rain.

Alaska is gorgeous 98.9999% of the time, not the weather per se, but the views. Waking up to God's awesome creation every day was a spiritual experience for me. To be able to take the dogs on a walk and see mountains peaks in the distance was a daily blessing.

I recently read a blog from a girl stationed in Fairbanks who complained that it rained all day in the summer and the sun shone at night and she found it some cruel joke...Yes! Yes, it DID rain a lot. Why don't I remember that when I think back on our time there?

The dogs would track mud in constantly.

Cabin fever was ever-present when the rain hit.

I didn't have a car and my only reprieve from two crazy Alaskan huskies was to leash them up and have them drag me across the slick rocks around our house while I felt icy rain hit my face.

After the rain, it usually meant the Northern Lights would not be making an appearance that night.

There was little to look forward to.

It got old- quick.

Not remembering the rain is odd to me. Why do Captain J and I hold our time in Alaska on some pedestal as if it were Heaven on Earth? Perhaps it was because it was just us- our first year of marriage apart from everyone and everything. We had an extended honeymoon that year complete with mountain hiking, starlight camping, halibut fishing, trips to "the big city", and road trips all over the Last Frontier.

All this got me thinking of the figurative rain I sometimes feel in my own life. Some days I'm drenched in moisture from the storms of that day. Baby K was teething. I was sick. J was gone. I felt alone. Miles away from anyone that could help. It certainly feels like a long week of rain has struck me from time to time.

But I wonder how quickly I'll forget all about this rain? I'm sure I'll yearn for the days when Baby K would still crawl into my arms and let me hold him and stroke every last hair on his head. I'll want his infectious baby laugh drifting through our house and soaking into every fiber of my being. I'll think back to those early weeks with him and remember all the dreams I have for my sweet first born.

I'm positive the rain will all be washed away and our time in Louisiana will be full of sun beams warming me.

The time to enjoy life is now. It's just so short and should be treasured in the sunshine as well as the rain.

"Be joyful always; Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

10 Months

Dear Baby K,

You're in the double digits now! Happy 10 Months, my boy. I can hardly believe you've been on the earth almost a full year. You're growing up so fast and it makes my mama heart swell with pride and fear. I don't want you to leave me, after all. Pretty soon, you'll have other friends and won't want to hang out with me anymore.

This month, I've held on to you a little bit tighter. I've cherished those times at night when you'll allow me to rock you awhile before I put you to sleep. As my belly grows with your little brother or sister inside, I find myself a little sad that my lap is running out of room for you to stretch out and sleep. You are getting so big, my dear.

You have begun to pull yourself up to a standing position sometimes. If I place you in a spot where you have something to hold on to, you'll stand there forever relishing in the fact that you're doing it by yourself. It's so fun to watch. Bath time continues to be a favorite time of the day as you love to explore and splash! When we get you out, you giggle at your reflection in the mirror and wave like a madman at yourself. We're still working on waving to strangers, though. 

You say "hi", "dada" and "mama" now, but I'm under no impression that you really know what it means quite yet. Once you signed "milk", but perhaps it was a coincidence. I'm still plugging away trying to teach you signs, but I'm afraid your dad confuses you when he tries to make them up as he goes along!

It's rare, but sometimes you crawl backwards. Sometimes you walk backwards in your walker. But if you need to get around, rolling is still your primary transportation preference. You'll get there, kid.

You've got two teeth on the bottom and you're as cute as ever.

Look how far you've come:

Love you to the moon and back,

Mama

SOMEthing's Drawn

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Welcome to another week of your favorite (ahem!) link-up! I've got some dandies for you today. If you're new to this, it's a place where you can link up your drawings (both awesome and awful) from the popular app, Draw Something. Just grab the button and add the post URL below.

The drawings I have to present you with today are donated--my favorite kind. As always, if you don't have a blog and want me to include one or two you think are funny--well, send them my way!

The first drawings are pretty terrible. Haha! Sorry to whoever drew them (they were submitted anonymously to protect the guilty)! But I mean, really:

The next group is pretty darn good. I can't take credit for these either. My sister drew them! Many people in my family are pretty creative/artistic drawers, but that gene must have skipped over me. Ahh, well- such is life.

She's good, huh?

What have y'all been drawing this week? I'm dyin' to know!

Patriotic Decor

I'm typically a sucker for holidays. I use any chance I get to be creative and switch up what we're staring at around the house on a day to day basis. I rarely ever buy anything- I like to use what's around the house and today's post is no different. I didn't buy a single thing!

I had this brilliant idea that I wanted to pay tribute to the men in my family who have sacrificed their time to serve this great country of ours. I wanted to celebrate them in some way...but how? I began asking around for photos of great grandparents, grandparents, my step-dad, and others who served in our nation's armed forces. Of course I would include Captain J, too! After gathering a few pictures of them in uniform,  I began to get some inspiration. I chose to use the deeper colors of the red, white, and blue because that's what I had around the house.

The Bunting Banner:

You Will Need:

• red cloth
• 1 cereal box
• white paint + paint brush
• twine/rope
• scissors
• glue gun

Step One: Cut the large sides off of the cereal box so that both are flat on the ground. Then draw a star shape on one (Use a stencil or print-off if you want them to be perfect). Cut out the star and then use it as a guide to cut out the second one on the other piece of cereal box. This ensures that the two will be roughly the same size.

Step Two: Time to paint! Place the stars on a surface you don't mind getting dirty, but beware of slopping too much paint on the edges of the stars as this will cause it to stick to the surface making it really difficult to get off in one piece (not that I did that or anything). You'll probably want a couple coats on there.

Step Three: While those are drying, get out your fabric and eyeball those nifty little triangles. I used a fabric cutting board and a rotary cutter (from all that sewing I do- ha, yeah right) which made it so much easier, but scissors will work fine, too. Again, use the first cut out you make as your guide for the other two.

Step Four: Measure the area you want your bunting banner to cover then cut your twine or rope accordingly. I used a sharpie to mark the places my stars and triangles would look nicely. But you can eyeball this, too- just find a large area to spread out the entire length of your rope.

 Step Five: Glue time! Use your hot glue gun to attach the pieces to your twine or rope. Just to make certain it would hold, I placed text books on top of each piece while it dried.

Voila! A patriotic banner for your July, Memorial Day, or Veteran's Day. 

Free Printable:

It reads, "Home of the free because of the brave" and you can download it free of charge here.

 Here are some other aspects of my patriotic mantel:

Top: (Step)Grandfather- "POP" in Saudi Arabia

Left: Great Grandfather KIA 1945

Right: (Step) Great Grandfather in Japan WWII and

Captain J in Iraq 2009

That's all you can see right now. It's not quite done! I still have a few more pictures I need and some finishing touches that I'll purchase from Hobby Lobby, no doubt. I've just got to make the trip there. Thanks for viewing!