The Great Formula Battle of 2012

Some days are just hard despite what all you do to make it otherwise. Take today for example. It started a bit earlier than I would have liked but I woke up in a good mood and happy to scoop my little man out of his crib to start the day. He, however, was not as pleasant as I was pretending to be. I mentioned earlier that he is pretty upset to have his world rocked by the absence of formula in his life. It's an understatement really. We're not really functioning without it.

I changed his diaper and noticed it didn't feel wet at all. It had been on him for about 10 hours at that point. Slightly worried, I went to the kitchen to make him a bottle of whole milk. Of course, he wasn't having it. I then tried soy milk. Nope. Nada.

(I've tried everything everyone has suggested- half formula/half milk and even less than half, milk with chocolate or strawberry, soy milk, almond milk, toddler formula- everything)

I gave him his breakfast which he readily ate and we packed up to go on post for a play date with some other Army Wives and their children. He was in a good mood while we were there and it wasn't too hot so my worries momentarily went away as he seemed to be fine. When he started to get fussy an hour later, we left. I knew he was tired. He was sweating a bit so I gave him some juice because I thought that was at least better than no liquid at all. He wouldn't take that either.

We drove home and he was very fussy when we arrived. I was so worried that he was getting dehydrated that I broke down and gave him his old formula that the doctor told me to stop giving him. Through tears, he finally drank that. I was crying. He was crying. I ended up feeding him like a baby. sippy cup in hand, one year old spread across my pregnant belly, and glider chair in motion, I rocked him until he drifted off to sleep.

I'm so stressed over this. I don't know why I can't be a laid back mom.

I don't know if it's the hormones or what, but I'm an emotional wreck today. I've cried three times over this and I'm wondering if there's even a reason to worry myself. Aside from being unhappy and few wet diapers, Baby K seems fine. I got to hang out with other moms today. I got a few things done on my To Do list, and I even took a nap. I prayed and felt comfort. I'll have family here in the morning. Things are good.

Why is this one thing affecting me so much?

It's just so frustrating when I finally get in the groove of this whole motherhood thing and then a new stage rolls around and I'm thrown for a loop again. I know I should get used to it. I mean, hasn't the Army been preparing me for this all along? They tend to turn our lives upside down at least once a year with either various schools, deployments, or moves. You'd think I'd be used to this by now. But motherhood, I suppose, is just a totally different ballgame.

What you thought you knew about yourself might not really be true.

And today I'm reminded that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Excuse me now. I'm off to go find my big girl panties (and possibly drive back to the store for the old faithful formula that K will take). I don't really know what else to do.