Fair warning: most of this post is complainy

Oh, how I wish I had good news.

I don't. I got nothin'.

Actually, that's not entirely true, but I'll leave that for last. Today, we were supposed to get our internet hooked up. After their "window" of time had closed shut, we called AT&T to ask why they never showed. Their response was that they didn't provide internet in our area.

(Ok, so why did you allow us to make an appointment for that?)

Anyway, long story short...

AT&T says that they'll be able to send someone out to survey the area and see if they could hook it up in our neck of the woods. Great. Perfect. But then they said they couldn't send anyone for up to 10 more business days. And then there's the chance that we would wait just to hear that it wasn't an option.

This does not work for two graduate students attending online courses.

We don't exactly trust AT&T after they neglected to actually call and cancel our appointment so now the only positive that was in my week is gone. I have no idea how I'm going to get these two research papers done without internet access at home. I can either spend time at the local library (with time restrictions on computer usage) or set up shop in a hotel again and use their internet.

I've been so annoyed recently. It's just so expensive to pick up and move, especially after we just did it 8 months ago. Now, we're wasting money on eating out (b/c we don't have our pots/pans/etc), we'll inevitably waste money on a hotel room b/c we need internet (b/c the Army will only pay for ten days), and then there are all the little expenses that add up.

We're just completely broke at this point and that's never an easy feeling when you're getting ready to have another mouth to feed. I just pray that Baby K continues to get a healthy report. Heaven forbid they have to put me on bedrest or something because I DON'T HAVE A BED!

I have been really disappointed with this move because I don't think waiting for a month on our furniture is the best they can do. We drove ten hours. It didn't take us a month to get here. I know others are waiting on their belongings, too...but I can't explain to you how much it sucks to be 8 months pregnant with nothing but the floor to sit on.

And that concludes my complaining for the day. Please forgive me.

The good news is- I talked to a midwife today who pulled strings, stepped on toes, and moved over some appointments just to fit me in. I love her soul. My appointment with the OB is tomorrow morning and I have an ultrasound appointment on July 7th! Woo hoo :) Hoping for good news! *I would just like to add that Ft. Polk's hospital staff has been very helpful. I'm definitely pleased with their service in helping me into the system so quickly and efficiently.

As promised, here are some photos of our new place-

He's weird, but I love him.

Our backyard is huge. Drifter and Holly love it here. I have new pics of them, too but I'll have to post those later. It's Mrs. K's bedtime.

what's new

I can't seem to find time to come up with a good post. I have been so busy since we arrived at our new duty station.



It's nice here. The surrounding town is Leesville, appropriately deemed "Sleazeville" by my new neighbor. It's pretty depressing. Luckily, Captain J and I found a great place in a neighboring town and I think we're going to love it there. It will be a quiet existence, for sure. We are located out in the middle of nowhere, just how we like it! Ft. Polk in itself seems right up my alley. If Ft. Wainwright was too small and Ft. Benning was too big then Ft. Polk is just right. Everything seems to be easy to access and the green landscape is aesthetically pleasing! In addition, when we drive through the gate we get to hear a new welcoming phrase-

"Welcome to Fort Polk, Home of Heroes!"

I get my kicks from odd things, I know.

I don't think I'll ever miss hearing the "Welcome home" we heard as we pulled up to the gates in Georgia. That place never felt like home to me.

Anyway, here's a photo of our new place-



I have more, but they'll have to wait until later on in the week when we will actually have internet access at our house!

Meanwhile, we're livin' it up at the Army hotel-



We're working on school stuff, busying ourselves with signing into post, finding me a doc, etc. My appointment to meet with said doc is Wednesday. I'm pleased that I actually got an OB and I hope that I'm happy with the service here. Everyone has been extremely helpful at the hospital thus far and I truly can't complain. I just can't wait to see my little man again. I'm going to beg for an ultrasound this week because I haven't seen him since I was 20 weeks along.

Speaking of earlier on in the pregnancy, here's a photo of a fellow pregnant gal pal and me in GA, chowing down on some cupcakes-



Oh, to be that comfortable again. 2nd Trimester, how I miss thee. More on that later this week, though.

I'll be back to my regularly scheduled programming on Wednesday! If you can't wait, though...go order a copy of the recent magazine I was published in- Monroe Life. Woo hoo, Go Mama K!

That's what's new with me. What's new with you?

hi, ho, hi, ho

Whew! The last few days have been interesting. The rest of our drive to Ft. Polk was terrifying. I know storms plagued most of us in the central and eastern states. It was no different for us. There were a couple of times I thought I was a goner. The storms came like curtains of rain. I would look out in front of me and see it waving around like the stage was being set and the curtains were about to close. I was sure it was the end of me.

But, then the skies parted and I realized I had at least a few more minutes left.

It continued to rain as we drove into LA. We hoped it wasn't symbolic or anything.

As we began our search for housing, thus began the worry. The money that the Army allocates for housing off post here is inadequate, to say the least. The properties in our price range were pitiful. A ridiculous amount of money for rent was required for very dirty, very broken down houses in bad neighborhoods. It wasn't looking good.

But I kept my happy face on (can't say the same for my husband) and knew it would all work out. I'm sure J was wondering, "Who is this woman and what has she done with my wife?"

What can I say? I'm trying out this new glass half full thing and it looks good on me.

Anyway, I was almost prepared to get my cleaning boots on and deal with those icky houses that seemed like the norm around here. But J wasn't having it. We decided we would spend a little more money so that we could be more comfortable and have a clean, safe place for Baby K to come home to.

We found a lovely home- 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a gigantic backyard for Drifter and Holly. It's pretty awesome. The yard is about as big as the dog park back in Fairbanks that they loved so much. They'll be happy there!

And I think we will be, too.

The downside?

Our furniture won't be delivered until July 12th. Thanks, U.S. Army. Baby K and I really appreciate that. It's back to the air mattress we go. Hi, ho, hi, ho.

(If you don't hear from me, fear not. I might be without internet access for a few days.)

Pregnant With Laughter (Part: ?)

Captain J and I are shacked up in a hotel on post while I'm furiously typing away to finish various assignments. He is sitting mere feet away, watching tv. He has been relatively quiet, trying to allow me some focus time. Just a few minutes ago, he said, "Babe, I think you qualify for a power chair!"

I said, "Sweet! What did it say?"

Apparently, the commerical said:

Do you have trouble getting to the bathroom in time?

Does your lack of mobility hinder other people?

Have you fallen in the last month?

Check, check, check.

I guess he's right. Sign me up. I'm tired of walking.

Mobile

Today has been so long. Tis why I'm only giving you a few meaningless sentences in hopes you'll forgive me for not updating you more thoroughly.

All this is an assumption that you care where I'm at and what I'm doing.

Oh, well.

We're in Mobile, Alabama. We found a glorious hotel. It's nice AND they allow pets. The bed is tall and squishy with lots of pillows and I cannot wait to plop my big butt down on it and not move for at least 8 hours.

The drive wasn't so bad. My back began to hurt after awhile, but other than that, I did pretty well. We stopped along the way so I could walk around.

And the pups! They needed some sporadic exercise, too.



When we arrived at our destination, Captain J and I found a tasty restaurant that served some good ole southern barbeque! This is one thing that I missed when we were stationed in AK. Coming back to the south and their BBQ and sweet tea is a good thing- a very good thing.

Great, now I want a sweet tea...and I can't have one for at least two more months.

I digress.

And I've got to jet. I have a wonderful REAL bed that is calling my name.

But here's a photo that I took (while parked) in the car to symbolize our migration to Louisiana...



We'll chat soon, mmkay?

Love,

Mrs. K

Yeah, I'm leaving GA

If you're reading this in Real Time*, I am:

• rolling out of bed, mentally noting the long list of To Do's we have left


• packing up the car, yet again, to hit the road


• scrambling around post getting my medical records


• returning Charter boxes


• getting my oil changed before the big trip


• picking up my doggie pals


• finally getting on the road to make our move to Ft. Polk


• jamming to old school boy bands in the privacy of my own car


• or contemplating what in the heck I forgot this time.

Isn't moving fun? Ha! In all honesty, Captain J and I are happy about this change in our lives. We welcome a new state with open arms and can only hope that it welcomes us back. I just want to say goodbye to the storm alarm right outside our house, often notifying us of approaching tornados. I'm glad to distance myself from you and so are my nerves.

Peace out, cockroaches. I hope you aren't overtaking our new home in LA, too. You won't be missed, you're not invited to visit, and you aren't welcome to set up residency there.

Adios to thug-life (or the wanna-be culture) that living in Columbus often brings. Again, I'm none too sad in leaving you, either. My car break-in solidified my disdain for you.

Oh, we've had good times, too. I just can't focus on those right now. Knowing I'm moving farther from my loved ones gets me sad enough- I can't focus on happy memories right now. Perhaps tomorrow. Or the next day.

Anyway, we are very busy this week, but I'll try to keep you posted on our PCSing adventures.

In the words of the Zac Brown Band:

"Adios and vaya con dios. Yeah, I'm leaving GA."

(*Real Time is used to describe any moment on June 20th during the hours of 0700-2300)

papas, daddies, fathers, etc.

I was blessed to have several men in my life that have served as father figures. This girl has never been lacking in that area of influence and for that, I'm forever grateful. Dads can sometimes get the shaft when it comes to the appreciation and credit of parenting. Let's dispel that, shall we?

It is for this reason that I will share with you some of my favorite memories-

That's a picture of my dad and me hiking an East Tennessee trail. Not only is he responsible for much of my love of the outdoors, but he is also probably to thank for my odd sense of humor. He's a funny guy. I remember waking up each morning for school to him proclaiming from a nearby room, "Wooo Weeee, I get better lookin' every day!" I like to think he still says this to himself (or out loud) every day.

We've had lots of good days. From camping to attending bluegrass festivals to spending hours out on the lake, some of my very favorite memories are with him. We can crack ourselves up by endlessly quoting Wayne's World or likening a happening in our lives to a specific episode of Andy Griffith.

When my dad is around, you're sure to have a good time.

Then there's this man-

The guy who loved my mom so much that he took on a ready-made family to be with her. I'm forever thankful for him, too. I have always respected his opinion and sought his approval when making any major decisions in my life. He has taught me so many things over the years, including helping greatly when I learned to read.

And Lord knows I'm thankful I can do that.

Among other important fatherly figures in my life, are these faces...

and there are others.

I'm so happy that these men will be able to be in Baby K's life, too. Like I said, I AM blessed.

And to my hubby- on this, your first Father's Day-

Just look how much fun we are. We're going to be great parents. I love you, daddy-to-be. Always have, always will.

MCCC Graduation

Yesterday, was J's big graduation day. He wasn't so thrilled about having to break out his dress blues again (or having to graduate again), but I always enjoy seeing him in them! I didn't get any good photos because I couldn't figure out the correct setting for the little camera. Oh, well. Congrats to Captain J for making it through yet another Army school.

(He's walking off the stage on the left at this point, but this was my best attempt at using a flash to my advantage.)

There you have it. TONS of excitement going on around here.

I'll leave you with my favorite part of these ceremonies- The Army Song!

Note: I didn't record them singing b/c I didn't think of it fast enough, but here's an equally exceptional group of guys singing it for ya! I love it. Ha!

Alaskan Summer

If you're in Alaska, do yourself a favor...

Go order a nice, cold Alaskan Summer.



If not for you, do it for me.

And while you're at it, enjoy every single second of the cool(er), refreshing air while you sip on it. It's so much cleaner up there than here in the lower 48.

Will you do that for me? I know it's a lot to ask.

Thanks,

Mrs. K

Hey, You!

Hey, you...

Yeah, you in your tiny shorts with the long, tan, strong legs running around effortlessly in the Georgia heat.

I don't like you. Not today.

I'm jealous of your swinging ponytail and glistening forehead. You act like running is a breeze while I sit over here from the confines of my house, afraid to step foot outside. Because when I do, I breathe heavy, Baby K gets mad, and I question ever leaving that cool Alaskan air.

So, go away with your perfectly toned body and leave this pregnant girl in her own misery. Maybe we can be friends in two months, but today is not your day.

The End.

In my recent studies, I came across this verse from Ecclesiastes that seems very fitting today-

"The end of a matter is better than the beginning, and patience is better than pride." - Ecclesiastes 7:8

The end. Those can be bittersweet words, can't they? In movies, it's the point at which we finally feel that homeostasis returning to our bodies. The conflict has been resolved in some way and we can leave the movie in peace, knowing that all is right again in that little world. In our favorite books, we're often glad to know what happened finally, but regretful that the story is no longer engrossing us.

'The end' can be happy or sad, but it is inevitable.

I look forward to so many ends and other beginnings. The end of this move is in sight. Don't ask me how or why I can see the finish line, but I can. It looks relaxing there. The fact that once we arrive at Ft. Polk (find a doctor and find a house) I still won't have time to sit down and put my feet up- matters very little. We'll have a home again. The home that we'll bring our son home from the hospital to. The home he'll roll over for the first time. The end of our time here at Ft. Benning.

I'm excited.

I'm trying to have patience and enjoy every single day, but today was difficult for me. I won't go into detail about all my pregnancy ailments because I know I can get complainy. But being 31 weeks pregnant in 98 degree weather with no furniture to relax on isn't the only issue I've got going on. As I was laying in bed on the evil air mattress that has become my nemesis, I realized, "Mama K, while you were busy preparing to move and working on school work, you forgot about your other class." That's right. I signed up for three classes this summer, not two. A little word of advice: When an advisor tells you that you might not want to take on too much at first, LISTEN!

I got out of bed at 1am, hurried my pregnant self to Amazon.com, and frantically began my search for the books I would need for the additional class that starts in two weeks. After finding what I need and consequently spending a fortune to get the books here by Wednesday, you would think I would be able to rest. Not the case.

As you can plainly see, this end will be much better than the beginning. I'm keeping faith in that! The beginning started last Wednesday when all of our belongings were lovingly not so lovingly thrown into boxes and shipped to what will be our third home in the past year. Since then, I've endured a lot. No, really. :) Okay, maybe I just feel as if I've been through the ringer.

The end of this move looks exciting to me.

Who cares if everyone says our next post is the armpit of the Army? Not this girl. This girl is just thankful for ends and new beginnings.

Lord, grant me patience (but not too much) ;)

Mrs. K and the calculated escape plan

Psstt...

Is this thing on?

I feel disconnected from the blogging world. School, family, moving- these are all taking me away from you momentarily. Still, I enjoy having a place to share our lives with all of you. It allows me to revisit many of my fondest memories, especially when I have little recollection of them. I have a terrible memory in case you didn't know. Sometimes I like this about myself. For instance, I can watch a movie a handful of times and still not remember what happens in the end. It's great! It's new to me each time. Other times, this pesky memory problem isn't so enjoyable.

I think I'm talking writing too much.

I signed into Wordpress to tell you about this:



Whoa! That's one big belly. People keep telling me that it's only going to get bigger and that's something that scares me to hear.

How? How can it get any bigger?

I'm going to pop.

You should see me try to execute an escape- from- the- air- mattress plan. It ain't pretty. It usually involves a calculated roll with some preliminary swinging of the legs to roll me over. If all goes well, my knees end up on the floor while I use my hands to push me up. All the while, I'm breathing like I'm about 600 lbs. and just tried to hula hoop. My hair is usually a mess because I no longer care about brushing it. I'm just trying to get through the day (or the night, for that matter). When I finally make my way to a vertical position, I still have to cradle my huge belly as I high tail it to the bathroom because you know I have to pee every few minutes.

Long story short- I'm wondering how anyone can view pregnancy as an attractive time period in a woman's life. Sometimes I feel sorry for Captain J to have to wake up to such a hot mess every morning, but then I remember that he can be thanked for this huge protruding belly of mine and I get over that pretty quickly.

65 more days to go!

Innovative

I love my husband for many reasons.

One of them should be mentioned here now- He's innovative. Driven. Determined. Logistical.

You may be thinking, of course he is- He's a U.S. Army Officer. Mmmkay, scratch that. You probably weren't thinking that.

Anyway, the point is he provides for this little family in any way he can. This past week he has really stepped up to the plate in trying to make our home for the time being, a home. The other day he got this brilliant idea to make his own grill using materials around the house. I thought he was batty and was ready to simply check out some to-go menus when he proclaimed, "I'm going to pick up some steaks."

Oh, gracious.

I thought, "There's no tellin' what I'm going to have to eat tonight", but I said, "Okay, love you! I'm staying here" {in the air conditioning, thank you}.

By nightfall we had quite the feast.



We had steak, grilled onions and cucumbers, complete with a candlelit ambience. All eaten on paper plates and a large Army tote, it was perfect.

It doesn't take much to have a nice evening with my husband, though. We enjoyed the rare breeze that a June night in Georgia offered us by sitting in camping chairs outside, watching the dogs play, and talking while the food cooked. Pretty soon, quiet evenings such as this will cease to exist with the arrival of Baby K. Better enjoy it while we can!





It's days like these I like to store away in my memory forever.

Mind elsewhere

I could really use some of this:

Or one of these:

Or perhaps a porch with friends nearby:

All of which were provided at my third and final baby shower that my mother-in-law put together for Baby K and me. Oh, to be enjoying that day instead of writing papers and reading books (of the not so fun persuasion)! Yes, I'd much rather be lounging around the pool with a plate of good food instead of making plans to eat out...again. Having limited utinsels to cook with is troublesome. LA in ten days!

My mind is elsewhere. Where's yours?

tail, face, tail, face...

Some things in life just don't mix. Ketchup and chocolate, for instance. Both great. Not together.

I have discovered a few more things in life (over the last twenty four hours)
that shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence and I think they deserve a warning for all of you:

1. 3rd trimester and blow-up mattress. 'Nuff said.

2. Part- wolf dogs and no furniture.

Need an explanation? Well, let's just say that it's not even 9am and I'm completely tired of having a husky tail in my face, then a husky face, then a tail, then a face. If they don't quit pacing, I might go insane.

3. Cereal and zero eating utinsils to speak of. That's no good either.

That's all I've got for you today. I must retire to the library and study. I'm hoping to get ahead so that I won't be entirely stressed out during our drive to LA. Before we part, I would like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very first Army wife friend I made when I joined this military family journey. Nicole, I hope you have a fabulous day!

One day you're in...

As they say in fashion, "One day you're in and the next day you're out."

(I hope you said that in your best Heidi Klum voice.)

Turns out, that's the way the Army works, too.

Last weekend, we received a phone call saying that they couldn't find a civilian company to get us packed up and moved out at the original date they gave us. This meant that we would be staying in Georgia longer than we expected, which made me nervous since I already feel as though I'm about to pop! Frustrated, we slapped on our smiles and said, "well, it'll work out."

Then yesterday we got another phone call. And what did those fine people have to say?

"We can either move you tomorrow or in July- take your pick."

Holy smokes. I called and cancelled my plans to attend a parenting class that evening and got to work dividing up what we would need to live in our soon-to-be barren house over the next few weeks and what the movers would need to pack up and ship.

Twenty four hours later and I'm writing to you via a Mac sitting on a tv dinner tray and some camping chairs.

When it comes to the Army- Rule number one is: Learn to roll with the punches!

Let us shower.

Baby shower #2 was well underway by the time I showed up in a tight green little number. Gross, I know. At 7 months pregnant, I can still wear some of my dresses albeit not well, but I do squeeze in. I just don't want to buy a bunch of stuff I won't wear again, ya know?

Off topic. Anyway...

My family had a little cookout and showered Baby K with gifts. I got so much great stuff, I can't even tell you about it. You'd be jealous.

The formal living room looks like a baby twister came through it. There's no place and no need to put away all of his things since we're leaving pretty soon.

Here are some photos of the event:

And everyone was just so happy for us. See?

We even had a few clappers.

Such enthusiasm! But let's be real...It IS an awesome stroller.

Good times. I'm one lucky gal!

mah frands

*sniff, sniff*

But, but....I don't wanna leave!!! (again)

On Saturday morning, I got up bright and early to prepare a brunch for some of my friends who I will miss dearly when I move farther away from them. Granted, it's not as far as Alaska, but it's not the hop, skip, and jump away that I would prefer. When you find good friends, you keep them!

With the help of my mother's lovely touches on her porch, I threw together a pretty tasty breakfast of eggs, sausage and cream cheese casserole, fruit, cinnamon rolls, and orange juice.

P.S. See that "M"? I totally made that.

My girlfriends and I had a nice breakfast outside before it got too awfully hot. It just didn't last long enough (the conversation, not the food). I'm going to miss these girls, as I've missed them while living here in Georgia. Now, I'll get to see them a bit less and that just ole plain sucks.

I know, I have such a way with words. Anyway, after we got done eating, we snapped a few photos, all of which I was unhappy with because of my ever growing midsection (but I'll do anything for sweet Baby K).

Next stop on girls' day? - The only cold place we could find, the movie theatre. We went to see Bridesmaids which was rather funny but a little risque! We laughed and laughed and this didn't last long enough either (the fun times, not the movie).

And now here I am, back in Georgia. My loves are in Tennessee and I'll soon be headed to Louisiana. We must part again.

Boo hoo.

I'll miss ya, mah frands.

Winner Announcement

Ding, ding, ding! We have  a winner! After hosting my very first giveaway, I'm happy to announce that my sister won the prize. I swear, I didn't cheat.

See, here's proof:



I had five comments total and random number generator chose lucky comment number five! Congrats, Paige. I'll send you what you need for your free Be There Bedtime Story. Thank you to all who entered. I wish you all could win! You still have a great chance of winning the same prize here. Her giveaway ends very soon so get on over there and enter to win. As of right now, she doesn't have anyone else in the running so you could easily be the lucky winner!

There will be more giveaways to come.

Love,

Red

Shh...Don't tell anyone, least of all my mom-

but I miss my red hair. I know, I know. I'm a blonde and I should stay that way. But after Baby K is born and the mood strikes me, I might just go red for fall.



Oh, and this was totally the post I was looking for yesterday when I was writing about moving. This photo says it all, though-



Red heads are sassy. They're their own woman. See photo above as evidence. I could use some of that confidence to get me through all these new changes headed my way.

Perhaps it will give me a new spring in my step.

Anyway, have you entered my giveaway yet? Today is the last day to do so. Also, for another chance to win the same prize, head on over to Our Navy Nest and register there, too! Her giveaway is lasting a bit longer than mine. Good luck and God speed to you, my friends.

Baby Steps

Now, listen closely because I don't say this often: Being pregnant has its perks...especially when one is in the process of moving houses. Might I remind you that this is my second move during this pregnancy? This means that I could take it easy unpacking our belongings when they arrived from Alaska. It also means that I will be sittin' back to relax when the movers and J pack up again next week to transfer us from Georgia to Louisiana.

Might I also remind you that I moved our entire life all by my lonesome in ten degree weather, complete with icy steps and very cold fingers?

This is precisely why I secretly enjoyed watching the following baby steps unfold:

 



It was at least ninety degrees during this moving process (hahahah!). Being in the delicate condition that I'm in, I couldn't possibly help him.

Nope, my only duty was to you, my readers, in documenting this spectacle. Wondering what is in that big ole box? It's more furniture for Baby K! I'm so excited to get his room set up eventually. First, we have to find him a room, though. Baby steps.

I think I'll take a ten degree moving day over ninety plus any ole day, however, we're moving to the wrong state for that, huh?

Look out, pregnant lady down!

How did this cute, energized, feelin' good preggo lady

29 Weeks

end up completely disoriented on the floor of the hospital?

Well, I'll tell you. It all started with this:

Yes, the dreaded glucose test. I wasn't worried in the slightest about this little procedure. In hindsight, I think I should have been. I waltzed into the Army hospital with my cute ThirtyOne bag in hand, filled to the brim with school work I have yet to do. I wasn't about to waste this required hour simply sitting around in a waiting room.

For those of you who don't have a clue what I'm talking about:

"They" give you this ominous orange liquid that's incredibly sweet and disgusting. You have five minutes to down it. Then you must wait around for an hour and ponder why your husband put you in this predicament. After an hour has elapsed, you are then taken to a room where "they" will draw your blood.

Easy peasy, right?

WRONG!

After about 30 minutes, I began to feel very uncomfortable. It seemed ten degrees hotter than the minute before. I reached up to gather my hair from touching my neck and fan myself. Whew! Dizziness, too.

I put my books and notes away, willing myself not to puke all over the waiting room.

There were tons of people in there, as usual so I definitely didn't want to purge the system for all to see. A visit to the hospital is bad enough.

For the sake of everyone in the room, I decided I would go to the bathroom and lose my lunch there. I was quite bummed as I stood up because I was going to have to do this all over again, as tossing my cookies would void the test.

I grabbed my bag and made my way through the crowd into a not-so-crowded hallway where the bathroom was only steps away. Only...

I didn't quite make it.

Black spots everywhere. Elephants seemingly taking up residence on my brain. Heat. Head circles. Yuck.

Look out, pregnant lady down.

I woke up to a man staring at me and then calling for help. Then big, bad Army guys lifting me up and showering me with cold compresses, water, and lots of smiles. Were they laughing at me?

I felt so dumb. The women seemed frantic. The men were overly attentive. I was just hopelessly embarrassed. Of all the doctor appointments for Captain J not to go to! Of course, I'd completely lose it at this one.

Apparently, I didn't fall, so that's good. I also never painted the hospital green either, another plus. I got to continue with the test. Results forthcoming.

Blah. What a day.

P.S. - For other Ralphing terms, visit this website and expand your vocabulary as I just did.