I haven't done a postpartum update in awhile mostly because I've felt ashamed. I am having a hard time getting rid of these last 8 lbs. I know I shouldn't worry about what the scale says...and usually I don't stress over it, but those double mirrors in the Target dressing room? THAT is what's really bothering me. I can't believe I look like that from the rear. It grosses me out and makes me never, ever want to put on a bathing suit again.
I know I'm hard on myself. I was at the salon the other day, trying to explain to the guy (who was prettier than me by the way) what color I wanted my hair. I was saying how I wanted it blonder and then I pointed to someone and he was confused as he said, "Your hair is that color now." I don't know why I see myself so differently, but it bothers me.
I know I'm not fat. I know people who struggle with their weight probably want to smack me in the face when I say it--but I feel fat. I know it's because I rarely get to get a good workout in. When I'm consistently working out, I feel much better about the way I look. I have a very hard time getting the babies to sleep at the same time. I guess working out in ten minute increments is okay, but it sure feels like as soon as I get my heart rate up, I've got to rock a baby or change a diaper. I'm in a rut.
I suppose I should celebrate that I did lose 1lb since my last weigh in here:
Current Weight: 128
Goal Weight: 120
I want to get back into running. I always feel so great and energized after a good run! Last week, I tried a quick mile. I did it in ten minutes. Just ONE MILE! I'm out of shape. But at least I didn't quit. To inspire me to run more, I signed up for a race I've been wanting to do for so long-
The Color Me Rad 5k is coming to Jacksonville! I've also talked my childhood friend and fellow blogger into running it with me. She lives a few towns over and is coming to the big city to run with me. I'm so excited! We're probably going to win the whole thing. Colorful pictures to come.
I'm going to keep plugging away, trying to reach my main goal- to feel good about myself.
Linking up here:
10 comments:
Yeah, you're not fat. I have 0 children and can't run a mile in 10 minutes, haha.
You are doing awesome and you look great. :) Yay for the color run though we are running one in september.
I can't wait to move back to the States so we can do a color run! They look super fun. It's hard because we're our own worst critics. But for the record, I think you don't have anything to be worried about. You look great!
That race looks fun. They had it here in Corpus Christi last month, but I am not in shape to run a 5K. My goal is to run one by the fall. I hope you have fun!
You can do it! It's always that last home stretch that's the most frustrating. I'm sure the race will help jump-start your motivation!
Thanks for sharing that verse, too. Needed that today.
Love your motivation!!!! You will get where you want to be. I heard the book moms on time is great with getting two young kids on schedule from multiple people (purchase from their website though). One of my goals after baby is to run a 5k. I would also like to try to do the disney princess half marathon in Orlando one time.
I want to do one of those color runs!
The color run looks so fun! Also, I'm a lot bigger than you, but I'd never "slap" you for feeling the way you do. We all have something and things we'd like to change and just because you are closer to your weight loss goal than others it doesn't make your journey any less significant! Good for you and I can't wait to read about your progress!
Stopping by from the link up! You're doing great! It takes time to where you want to be with little ones. And for the record, 1 mile in 10 minutes is really great! I've been running since September and am only starting to be able to consistently do a 10 minute mile. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
I just signed up for the color vibe 5K up north! I hate running but am trying to get in shape and it will be my first 5K. I found you via the link up. The target rooms are the worst, and so is bathing suit shopping. I am hoping that after the 5K I will actually like how I look in a bathing suit. It has been long time since then!
Keep up the good work, you will get there.
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