Just get it out

I don't even know if I'm ready to write about this but here goes...

This passing week was one for the books. The expression, "When it rains, it pours" comes to mind. And boy, did it pour- literally and figuratively. I'm embarrassed to say that I called my mom as per usual crying like a little baby. If I'm honest, looking back on the storm, it's actually pretty funny. Ridiculous, but typical. As a former military wife, I've learned to expect the worst when my husband leaves.

I like to think that I hold the fort down just fine while he's away and I actually do, but sometimes when I'm extra stressed, life throws extra little kinks my way. I was just over it. Over the separation. Over doing everything myself- moving, parenting, life. I felt so so alone this week. My husband was only four hours away, but that didn't matter. What mattered to me was that I hadn't been with him much at all over the past two months.

J's new job required some extensive training so he has been gone so much. That is coming from an Army Wife who knows what it's like to be away from her spouse frequently. He'd sneak home for days at a time and that was nice, but very disrupting, too. You know how it is if you have a toddler. He was so confused. "Daddy? Daddy?" he would say when he woke up in the morning and J was gone again. It was sad.

I don't like living life alone. Sure, I had my two babies to keep me busy, but that brings so much stress on itself. I started living for bedtime again. Anyway, with the end in sight (J is coming home tonight!), I'm ready to laugh about what all spiraled out of control. After all, it was really quite stupid.

1. It stormed. Like crazy, windy, tornado weather. I'm terrified of tornadoes. There's no such "safe place" in our new home so I just spent much of one evening pretty worried. I woke up the next morning to...

2. our lawn chair in the lake/pond behind our house. I walked down to try to get it out and I couldn't reach it. "Oh well", I thought. "We'll just be the redneck neighbors who dry cloth diapers outside and occasionally chain their dog when it needs to pee who let their yard furniture float around in the water." Captain J could deal with it when he got home. Except I couldn't do that (more on this later).

3. One day, I was trying to sort through the massive collection of garbage accumulating in our garage. I snuck out when Cray K wasn't looking, but he soon discovered that I wasn't in the house and must be in the garage. In the midst of him trying to open the door to go outside, he managed to turn the lock instead. I tried to get back inside and there it was. Resistance. Knob wouldn't turn. My heart sank. My babies were inside. My phone was inside- I couldn't call a locksmith or the police. I was terrified for a minute as I frantically jiggled the door knob. Then I remembered that it was possible I had an extra key in my car which happened to be...unlocked! I'm so thankful that worked out the way it did, but I have learned my lesson. I hope.

4. Baby A picked this week to be so! angry! I mean, it was nothing like when K was a baby, but he definitely wasn't his normally chill little self. I think it had a lot to do with the antibiotic I was on upsetting his tummy. Poor babe. And poor mama! It's difficult when you have two children who need you constantly and there's never any relief. Props to the single parents out there. And to all you military wives who deal with deployments and children? I have no idea how you don't go completely insane.

5. I sat down with a cup of joe and guess what? I spilled it all over our wireless keyboard. I thought all was fine until I woke up the next morning to only half of it working properly. Things you might not know: a) "P" is actually in a lot of words b) the enter/return key is absolutely crucial This is why I haven't been blogging. It sounded more like a chore to try to copy and paste letters from the internet when I needed them so I opted to just not go there. Now, I'm typing from the new keyboard that arrived in the mail just moments ago. What can I say? I missed y'all.

6. So...where were we in the lawn chair fiasco? Ahh, yes. It was stuck out of reach behind my house. I decided the following morning to dig out my waders and go in after it. I found them hanging in the garage so I grabbed them and went out to get the chair. The chair was not there. It was on the other side of the body of water. Pretty far away. And remember I have two under two in my care. How was I going to get that stupid chair out of the water? Leave them inside? What about alligators? Snakes? Should I do it? My facebook friends encouraged me to get it so I went for it. Waders and all. I needed them. The water was up to my waist. On the long walk back to the house, a neighbor stopped me and I'm pretty sure made fun of my attire. Here, you can make fun, too-

7. Then THEN! The smoke alarms decided to start randomly sounding every hour. Then every 30 minutes. It was bananas...and awful. The boys were freaked out but Holly, the dog? She thought it was the end of the world. After the first noise, she followed me around at my feet, whining. Loud noises make me so stressed out. I can't explain it. I just want to shut them off immediately FOR THE LOVE! I couldn't figure out what was going on because I couldn't reach some of the alarms. After climbing on a desk and reaching up with my tippy toes, I finally get the darn cover off and see that it is hard wired. I couldn't take it anymore after hours of this so I took down all the alarms (we have 7!) and removed their batteries because they then started chirping. I placed them all in the garage and brought out my white flag and wine because I needed it. With renewed energy the following morning, I set out to buy all new batteries. Long story short, those didn't work. I've called the fire department (no help) and the realty company we rent from (also no help) and the alarms still are resting quietly in my garage. If I die in the next few days from a house fire, my family should know that it's time to sue the pants off the realtors.

That is all and it was enough. I was just spent. A bunch of little things got me...but we put on our tough faces and got through it. If you made it this far, you must really love me. Thanks for listening reading. I had to just get it out.