This Man

My husband just sauntered off to work in his green scrubs. I watched him walk away, brief case in hand. Man, how our lives have changed over the last five years. When I met J, he was a young lieutenant in the U.S. Army. He lived in Alaska and me? I had never lived any place apart from Tennessee. His job became a romantic notion in my head as we talked although I laugh about that now. After all, what is desirable about sending the man you love off to war? I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Plans began to be whispered over late night conversations at our parents' houses, "Will you come to Alaska with me?" Without hesitation, we started our search for flights. In that week, my blinders started to slowly come off. I was about to send him off for an entire year or more. How do families do this?

The young, inexperienced new lieutenant come home from war an experienced veteran. Adjusting to the changes that brings with it was difficult, but I can honestly say that it was a fun time for us. Homecoming creates this high that can last you for months if you can't already see the next deployment in your headlights. Some people aren't as lucky as we were.

We had fun! We traveled around Alaska, New Zealand, Hawaii and Tennessee in those months following his return. We dropped money left and right and spent like we couldn't take it with us. I began to notice subtle changes in Captain J, things I never noticed before he left. I assume he came to know new things about me, too. A lot can change in a year. Yet we had it so so good.

As we drove away from Alaska to move on to the next duty station the Army wanted us to go, we realized how much we didn't want to leave. We had made friends there. Great friends. And I feared we would miss our lives nestled in the mountains. Our adventures weren't over yet, though. We drove across America, stopping when we pleased. We had each other, two silly dogs, and so much possibility on that trip. Those memories keep me warm at night.

Upon arrival to Georgia, we got some unexpected news. We were (finally!) expecting. By the time the due date rolled around, we had already moved again. Louisiana would be our baby's first home. Come to find out, we'd have two babies in our 17 month stay there.

Now, here we are. Still making it. Still thriving.

The Army Officer that I married is still very much alive in him, but I can see a new man evolving, too. He comes home excited about some surgery he was a part of. His phone rings less while he is home. He walks through the door at a fairly predictable hour each evening. Instead of tripping over combat boots in our bedroom, I'm moving around medical devices. Scrubs have replaced camo in our lives and my boys won't have to know what it's like to send their daddy off to the middle east.

This morning we woke up early, had our coffee, and read our morning devotional as we usually do. That's when it hit me. This man is so different from the one I started dating years ago. I am so different. I guess time will do that to you. But every once in awhile, he'll flash me a smile and tell me as he did this morning, "You always look good when you wake up" and I remember that young couple we were not so long ago before our children began the hopefully slow process of chiseling away our youth. 

This man has my heart, for better or for worse.

And I just don't think I say that to him enough.