I am nice, I swear it.
The point is- I had many friends in my school and neighboring schools and I never really felt like I was missing out.
When I got to college, it took me a while longer to connect with people. I even had a couple people tell me they thought I was a bee i tee cee aich- that I was stuck up the first time they met me. I don't know if it's my quiet demeanor, my follower mentality, or the observer in me, but people often take me the wrong way. They equate shyness with something unlikeable.
Eventually, I was able to open up more and make a wonderful group of friends in college, many of which I consider my bestests.
[caption id="attachment_3990" align="alignnone" width="604" caption="here are a few from graduate school"]
[/caption]Obviously, I'm not incapable. I just have a harder time connecting with women. I spent much of my undergrad hanging out with guys because I found them easier to talk to. When I got married, I distanced myself from those relationships out of respect for my husband (this is not a time for a lecture in choosing my own friends despite gender) and my own comfort level.
But this shyness or whatever it is has followed me into my adult life. Because of the Army (and having to pick up roots quite often and move), I am reminded of my handicap! It took me forever to establish a good group of friends at our first duty station.
Now, here I am at our third and my sole source of interaction is with my 5.5 month old! Perhaps that's why I blog so much. I feel the need to connect.
I really appreciate all of you who leave comments, send emails, tweet, and leave me facebook love each time I write. It helps me to not feel totally alone throughout the day!
It's tough to not have a job or opportunities to meet other people and get out and socialize especially for someone like me who has to step outside of her comforting box in order to try and meet new friends. If there's one thing I've learned in life it's that a girl needs her girlfriends!
To my friends past and present- love you, mean it.
~Mrs. K
6 comments:
You write from your heart. Believe me, I know how you feel. When we first moved to Sweetwater I HATED it. I wanted to move desperately. Now, all these years later, I find myself wondering what life would have been like if we had moved. People think I am a "bitch" - many people I don't even know. They think because I am married to a "doctor" that I think I am better than everyone. I have been told this many times - including today. Sooooo, you get to the point that you live in your own little world. I have always been so grateful for Loudon High School. Brian and Brooke were accepted as who they were and not Dr. Ray's kids. Thank you for your post today. I believe God always has a plan - and today His plan was for me to read that I am not alone. I will have to have Brooke read this too. Since she is in Medical School, she has felt "lonely" for girlfriends. But she also has so much studying to do that she doesn't dwell on it too much. Thank God for her husband. He is her rock! Have a wonderful weekend - and keep writing. :-)
Linda (Villanueva - aka Dr. Ray's bitchy wife)
I love ya, Kace, and I think you've always been an amazing friend, and anyone who has had the pleasure of meeting you will see the kindness that shines through you. You should have no worries about that. However, I understand how motherhood can be quite lonely. It's not the same talking to someone who can't talk back. It won't be long before he'll be old enough to start going to playdates, storytimes, and whatever other activities he wants to do where you'll have the opportunity to meet other moms that share something in common with you. The hardest part of getting attached to those friends in our situation is that you know you will have to say goodbye when you relocate, but then your circle of friends just keeps growing and you'll have life long friendships all over the world. :)
Oh girl, I know. I know, I know, I know. People think it must be so easy for Army wives to meet and make friends because hey! Everybody's in the same boat! There must be TONS of people at your duty station just lookin' to make friends! But the truth is that so many of them are already in their own little "clique" and they don't need (or want) another person in their group. And then with the kid, you wanna find someone who has a kid too so that MAYBE naps and feedings and stuff will line up, and it's just tough.
I'm sorry it's hard right now. I really am. :( I met my first mom-friend at a storytime thing on post at the library. Met another one at church, who invited me to a playdate, where I met some more mom-friends! Eventually it happens (but not as fast as we'd like it to unfortunately!). Just don't give up on the mom-ish stuff they offer on post. Even though story time is really stupid and boring (sorry, it so is... lol), you might make some great friends who are also looking to connect.
Anyways, I've totally hijacked your comments section now. I will end this! ;) Good luck!!! I'll be praying for you!!!
Maybe you only have haters because you're so fabulous, Linda! Seriously- you are beautiful, sweet, and hilarious. What's not to like? Thanks for the response. I hope you have a great weekend, too!
Love you, too Nicki...MISS YOU! I do look forward to K getting older and being at the stage where he can play with other kids. Come to think of it- that's how I made friends in Alaska. My dogs played with other dogs and I made friends with their owners. haha!
Thank you for the prayers, Jennifer. I always appreciate those! I do feel as if I'm going a little crazy without some adult interaction. Most of the congregation at our church is much older. I've only seen one other young couple and they don't have kids so I'm afraid I'd be the annoying lady with the screaming baby. haha I just need to make more of an effort, though. Thanks for the response!
Post a Comment
I know you've got something to say!